Are We Self-Destructing? Champion for the Home
I read this quote in an art book about home and family: “The problem with people today, is that they have forgotten where home is”.
WOW! What a profound statement. Think about how the truth of that one reality has affected, and infected, our entire society.
Home was once a the hub of everything….the center of our beings…the stability when all else was unstable. It was the place where the sick were nursed, the tired were rested, the downcast were lifted, the children were nurtured, the wounded were soothed, the grieved were comforted, the frightened were held.
Home was once the place out of which industry flowed and a family survived. There was always another seat at the table, another crust of bread for the poor, and most of all, home was where the stranger could most clearly see the love of Christ flowing among the family members.
What happened to this home? Women left….the leadership of men was undermined, and children were abandoned. Home became nothing more than an empty house, a place where people sleep, store their food, and escape in front of the television at night. Conversation ceased. Production died. And the people inside became virtual strangers.
Home is no more an outreach, so we invented welfare. It is no more a nursery for the tender young, so we created daycares. It is no more a refuge for the elderly, so we created nursing homes. It is no more an educational bedrock, so we created public schools.
You hear it spoken sarcastically from time to time….”My gracious, this is not the pioneer days”, indicating that we should shun old and outdated traditions of living. And where has all of this “progress” gotten us?
Look around and see for yourself. Everyone admits that “this world has gone crazy”, but no one wants to trace back the cause, or take any responsibility for its demise.
And has the church been a beacon of truth for the family and home in the midst of all this deception? Absolutely not. It has perpetuated the lies. The pastor’s very wife asks the “harmless” little question to the girl approaching high school graduation: “So what are you going to do?” We all know that the “do” she is referring to leaves no option for fulfilling her full-time role and fundamentally important job in the home. And if she is not preparing to make her home the above described haven, the home virtually ceases to exist.
But the church doesn’t stop there….as soon as a new young couple has a baby, the nursery worker (although she doesn’t realize the harm in it), insists that she take the baby to the nursery to care for it so the worshippers won’t be distracted. And the baby graduates to “Veggie-Tales Church”, and then Puppet Ministry, and so forth. And all these programs we’ve created with the best intentions harm the family! We segregate, segregate, segregate. We tell children that the holy worship of God is no place for a “distracting little child”, while Jesus said “Do NOT forbid the little children to come unto me”! And in whisking them away, we also tell them that someone else is better suited to take care of their spiritual needs than their own parents! It’s no wonder most kids grow up with no concept of a Holy God, or the true spirit of worship, or basic foundational doctrine.
These are strong words. I’m prepared for a backlash, though I do not intend to evoke it. I’m not out to offend–I’m out to DEFEND against the creeping lies that will never be defeated until we start speaking the truth.
“Well, this is just the world we live in”, you say. But are we content to stand by and self-destruct in our apathy? Or are we willing to do the hard thing….embrace the truth first in our minds, and then do whatever necessary to set our paths straight.
Let’s raise up a generation of children willing to go back. Willing to be strong enough for ridicule. Willing to say “ENOUGH”. Willing to raise the home from the dead, and cause it to flourish again. Because unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.
What sadness is my lot in life, these four walls empty stand,
By the way, only a very small fraction of readers for this blog actually post comments. I would encourage you to post a comment/question if you have one. This blog is intended for more than just entertainment purposes. I pray that someone, somehwere, reading them, would have a glimmer of truth ignited in their hearts. Your comments and questions could play a part in that ministry. It may be just the thought someone else had but was afraid to share or ask. And, one of my favorite things about the community of believers is that “iron sharpens iron”. This blog is a “DEBATE”. So don’t be afraid to raise questions that may confront something I’ve said here. I’ll not be offended, and if you say it nicely, I won’t get my feelings hurt !
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motherhood | Word Warrior | 
June 21, 2007 8:24 am
“Home is no more an outreach, so we invented welfare. It is no more a nursery for the tender young, so we created daycares. It is no more a refuge for the elderly, so we created nursing homes. It is no more an educational bedrock, so we created public schools.”
It’s a passing of the buck, so to speak. It’s sad…no one wants to take responsibility for their actions, their families, etc. so they pass the responsibility on to the “professionals”.
“You hear it spoken sarcastically from time to time….”My gracious, this is not the pioneer days”, indicating that we should shun old and outdated traditions of living. And where has all of this “progress” gotten us?”
Sometimes I wish I were back in the pioneer days…but I don’t think I could live without central air (we do heat with a wood stove), running water, plumbing and all the other modern day amenities that we’re all used to. But life would be oh, so simpler!
I’m still thinking on the kiddos going off to Sunday school and kid’s church…not sure I agree 100% with you but I am sure when our family moves to wherever my husband has a pastorate that our older few (6, 8 and 10) will be in the service with the “adult” message…they could probably teach kid’s church by themselves! (Not to sound like I’m bragging…that statement was not made to sound arrogant, but they do know their stuff!).)
Thank you for your thoughts! Keep ‘em comin’!
Hugs,
Carmen
Okay, when you mention the pastors wife asking the girl “what she is going to do” Do you mean that you are against college or working till she meets a husband?
Jennifer,
Thank you so much for your comment/question. It is a very common one, but a difficult answer awaits.
In essence (there’s no use beating around the bush!), yes I am against young women leaving the home, whether to go to college or pursue an “outside” career. I AM NOT, however, against a young woman pursing an education, or a means of making money. But there is a huge difference in the way we go about it.
It is a slippery slope (a VERY slippery slope). If we embrace the biblical truth that women are to be full-time help-meets to their husbands (which is indeed a FULL time job), isn’t it silly to “program” their thinking in a different direction, only to suddenly switch gears again when they get married?
Am I against higher education–absolutely NOT! But when a young girl leaves her home and the protection of her father (unheard of in Bible times), and pursues a college education, where she will be inundated with feministic ideas(secular or Christian college), spends all of her time, money, thoughts, etc. pursuing this career, it is unlikely that when she gets married she will suddenly drop all of that investment and “new thinking” and be content with her role as home-maker. And even if she does, boy has she lost a lot of training opportunities! (No wonder there are so many wives that don’t even know how to cook a decent meal)…homemaking is an ART. One that must be treated seriously, cultivated, and refined. It takes time, energy and effort. Until we take the role of homemaker seriously, we will continue to undermine its need for preparation.
HOWEVER, a young woman, until she is married, CAN pursue a world of knowledge through alternate forms of higher education (a much better education than a stale college classroom can offer), remain under the protection of her father, train daily for her role someday as helpmeet (there is a lot of training if it is done right–one of which is being a helpmeet to her Dad), and she may very well pursue means of bringing in income. I know many, many young women who are flourishing in their gifts, and making great money at it while they are “in waiting”. We have leaned on the college degree(another lie we’ve been told) as the ONLY key to making money, or being successful, or preserving us in a tragedy. What a lie! There are so many other avenues of industry and provision, (which is one of the points I was making in my post), that we have virtually forgotten because we’re too busy pursing what someone said we needed to make it in the world.
This may come as a shocker and stir up a whole new debate, but I pray my sons seek an alternate route to college. There are so many superior ways of getting an education (and cheaper too!) and making a living!
We are so bent to the culture’s ideas of what women are “supposed” to do, that we can’t even think outside that box.
This issue has many questions and discussions which I don’t have time to even touch in this response. I will suggest an EXCELLENT resource for answering such questions as “what if a woman’s husband dies, and the wife never got a college degree to support herself?”, and other such hypotethical unlikelys.
The book “So Much More” written by two (highly intelligent) young women (age 15 and 17) is one of the most well-written arguments and thorough explanations of this topic that I’ve ever read. I highly recommend the book.
The bottom line is, if you want an apple tree to bear apples, you have to plant apple seeds. We can’t exercise the world’s methods right up until our daughters marry, then expect them to suddenly change courses and become the godly wife, mother and helpmeet we never trained them to be.
This is a sticky issue…and it’s one that is so hard to wrap our brains around because of our own brainwashing. I know, I was blown away when I first heard the suggestion that girls should not be encouraged to go to college.
But just like so many issues, when there’s a slippery slope, we can’t step on and jump off mid-slide. We have to trace our current problems (women leaving the home in droves with no desire to be there), back to the source of the problem (our sending our daughters off into a feminist culture to be stripped of all the godly training we have instilled) and do something drastic about it. That’s my short
, yes, short answer.
I appreciate the rant about segregation in church! Drives me crazy, too!
I recommend you copy your comments to Jennifer in a new post. So well said…everyone needs to read them! What a way with words, Word Warrior. (Don’t hold back now…smile)
There is no doubt in my mind that my “stumbling” upon your website a few months ago was nothing less than the Hand of Providence. I am a young wife and a new mother. I stay at home and take care of the home and family because in our heart of hearts my husband and I know that it is the right thing to do. We both grew up in the faith and in the church, and in families where the mothers did not stay home to take care of the home and family. We want something different, something deeper, something more abundant. THANK YOU for your posts, for your ministry, for the truth that you speak. It is like a balm to me as I struggle to stop striving according to the worlds definition of success and focus on hearth and home. (by the way, in my own studies, I’ve recently come across the Latin word for hearth which is “focus.” How wonderful!)
Beth,
So glad you stumbled here! Thank you for sharing that encouragement with me.
I strongly echo Beth’s comments. Just “stumbled” here myself today. Exactly what i’ve been looking for. I’ve been reading Douglas and Nancy Wilson’s books and learning more and more about the biblical role as a wife and homemaker. I am currently employed full-time. The Word of God has so convicted mine and my husband’s heart that I am now spending hours daily trying to plan for my exit of the workforce, and planning for homeschooling our son. I have found this to be an excellent, practical, encouraging website. Thank you, Thank you!