Comments on: A Personal Note…Final Thoughts on Dating and Courtship

By: » Dating, Courtship, Marriage

» Dating, Courtship, Marriage — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 21:38:24 +0000

[...] A Personal Note: Final Thoughts on Dating & Courtship–my story [...]

By: Word Warrior

Word Warrior — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:30:00 +0000

Brenda,

Wow…thanks for taking the time to write! What an encouragement!

By: Truth Seeker

Truth Seeker — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:37:00 +0000

Kelly
I’ve been reading your blogs for about two months now and I cannot believe the similarities between us…I tend to be pretty outspoken on things important to me and fiercely defend what I feel is right and true.. I almost fell off my chair though as you told of your first pregnancy! I was also a 19 year old christian girl who left a note for her parents to tell them of my pregnancy! That child is now 14 next month and over the last 6 months I’ve been seeking advice on how to help my teenager stay true to the Lord through these challenging years. I don’t remember how I stumbled across your page but I’m pretty sure it came up in a search I typed in for raising godly daughters. I have been so encouraged by your blogs and thank you sincerely for being my “rudder” in biblical womanhood. You’ve really helped to point me in the right direction! I just can’t attribute this all to coincidence…the Lord led me in a very timely manner to you, and through you I’ve been exposed to other women on blogger who have given me so much to chew on.
FINALLY I have found women who believe as I do!…that the bible doesn’t change as society changes. I must admit that I’ve often felt like the Lone Ranger clinging to beliefs that are now considered out dated even by many christians.

I soooo wish my parents could have taught these things to me…but thank God I’m getting it now and can pass it onto my children and hopefully they will pass it on to theirs.

I just didn’t want to let another day go by without telling you that what you are doing here matters! Please keep it up!
Brenda in Illinois

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 13:04:00 +0000

Some time ago my pastor explained that if we date and have relations before marriage, we often deal with rejection, anger and other baggage. Because of the physical contact the energy (spirit) of that person stays with you.

Later on when you find the right person it may be difficult to enjoy the relationship because of the baggage from past relationships.

I believe parents can teach this understanding to their children with or without the use of religion.

Morality in terms of behavior not theology.
Georgia

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 20:01:00 +0000

I haven't read your other post regarding courtship vs. dating.

I just wanted to add that I know people who have been deeply hurt by courtship. I think the emotional hurt was worse than dating because they thought they were going to be married to this person.

My husband and I dated. He was the first one I ever dated, but he dated many women looking for the right one. He never dated them long, but you have to get to know someone to know them. I guess we have both believed in dating for the purpose of marriage. We just never called it courtship. We didn't date someone for the fun of it. I don't know many Christians who do date for the fun of it.

By: Word Warrior

Word Warrior — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 02:49:00 +0000

Well, Beth, you either didn't read my posts very thoroughly, or you are just blinded to the realities that we've talked about here. I never said that everyone who dates ends up pregnant or loses his/her virginity.

What you obviously missed was, the violation in a dating relationship occurs long before the physical boundaries have been crossed. Pregnancy is only a minor consequence of the dating game. Emotional attachements are made in dating relationships that should only be reserved for marriage.

But even with that aside, statics show that yes, most dating teenagers lose their virginity before marriage...just because you didn't, doesn't make that the norm.

As for your statement "I don't believe parents should shove their views down their kids throats"...quite frankly, such a remark makes me queasy. A believer (I don't know if you are, but most of my commenters here are) is called to teach the commands of God to his children when they rise up, when the lie down, when they walk by the way, when they sit in their house...write them on the doorposts, bind them around your neck, etc., etc.

Pardon my paraphrase here, but that's pretty much shoving it down their throats. And using a negative connotation like you did, does not excuse us from our VERY important job of passing on our values (i.e. what we believe is truth) and training up our children.

I STRONGLY disagree with the theory that we are to just let our CHILDREN (not adult children, mind you, but the little, growing up ones), decide for themselves in matters of principles of living, values and issues such as these we are discussing. I've seen parents do it, to the detriment of their children.

Where is that in the Bible???

Thanks for your opinion though...

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 23:48:00 +0000

Just because you date doesn’t mean that you lose your virginity or become pregnant! I started dating when I was 15. I was married in 1996, and my husband and I were both virgins. So obviously I never got pregnant. You have to be careful in dating. The parents have to control what they can. But, our children are individuals. And, I don’t believe parents should shove there views down there kids throats. Just because a parent had a bad experience doesn’t mean a child will. But, this is just my opinion!

By: Gombojav Tribe

Gombojav Tribe — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 06:18:00 +0000

The Courtship Song

http://www.xanga.com/Elnwood/578695484/the-courtship-song.html

This from another Fuller Seminary Blogger. It’s great! Very fun!

By: Mrs. Anna T

Mrs. Anna T — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:31:00 +0000

Kelly, I finally completed and published my post about what’s a woman to do if she already had bad dating experience, realized it’s wrong, and wants to go back to the courtship model. Thank you for inspiring me!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 03:45:00 +0000

Hello, I found you by way of Anna S. I totally agree with you on the issue of dating. I have only read this post so far and look forward to reading more. I have a friend who wants her daughter to date when she is “of dating age” so that she can have experiences(not sexual, of course-this is a Christian friend). I told her that I disagreed, that the experiences do not enhance a marriage. I speak from experience unfortunately. Crazy how the world’s view is so ingrained on those of use who are not to be of the world.
I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Elise