Feminism to Blame for the Death of Chivalry

Upon returning from what I assumed, based on her flashing eyes and violent body language, to be an unsuccessful date, a friend of mine bitterly spat out a phrase I have come to recognize as the international anthem for disrespected and mistreated women everywhere: “Chivalry is dead.”

For years now, the cry has sounded from high towers, railroad tracks and marriages arranged for wealth rather than love. Ladies in desperate need of one decent knight are left to fend for themselves against dragons, dastardly mustached villains and boorish fathers. OK, for the sake of argument I will grudgingly accept that there may be certain aspects of chivalry that belong in ye olde antiquity, and the needs of the fairer sex may have evolved since. Yet there is still something resoundingly relevant about my friend’s particular choice of words.

I took a minute to think about the object of my friend’s righteous passion – no doubt in a state of blissful ignorance – and came to a realization: It is not only the nature of the distress that has changed over the years; it is the damsel herself.Looking at the bemoaned loss of chivalry in our society, I can’t help but wonder if chivalry had – in accordance with popular belief – brought about its own demise or if more sinister forces were at work. The latter accusation is not without validity, given the somewhat primitive state of many of those with a Y chromosome, the underestimated difficulties of courtship and maintaining a meaningful relationship.But then, of course, comes the obvious question: If men are so genetically incapable of quality behavior, and worthwhile relationships are such a challenging enterprise, then why is chivalry’s alleged suicide so recent? At what moment did the friendly relations give way to aggressive sexual and emotional warfare, where it is every man/woman for his/herself?

The truth is, there is no catalyst or inciting incident to explain the drastic changes in modern day relationships. But there is a simple answer. Chivalry passed on because it was no longer asked to exist. What my friend and all her fellow mourners fail to understand is that their outraged cry of bereaved nostalgia is misguided, or I should say, misdirected.

On July 19, 1848, a group of revolutionaries gathered in Seneca Falls, N.Y., and, shedding the feminine shackles of inferiority, began to pull the sword of equality from its historically misogynistic stone prison. What they did not consider at the time was the fatally double-edged nature of that sword. Along with the empowerment and individuality they so undoubtedly deserved came a complete rejection of all things classically feminine and a new phrase to make men shudder; “I can do it myself!”Women picked up their newfound freedom and ran full speed, tackling every man who stood between them and their sudden ability to open doors for themselves, or pay for their own dinners and movie tickets.And so emerged a group of warrior princesses affectionately referred to as Feminazis; lean, mean, emasculating machines in power suits who proved to the world that women are intelligent, strong, capable and incredibly frightening. “I am woman, hear me roar!” they yelled.

And boy, did we hear them. In fact, upon encountering such strong resistance to its natural tendencies, chivalry did the, well, chivalrous thing and retreated. Over the years the testosterone/estrogen balance was restored, and the modern dating-scape formed from amid the wreckage. Perhaps the new outlook was a response to the previous, or perhaps women were just tired after all that yelling. In either case, when the red tint of rage in her eyes faded and the vein in her neck eased, woman did not ask chivalry to come back. Instead, chivalry took advantage of the destruction of feminine stereotypes to fully access her needs, both sexually and romantically.

Without the age-old strictures forbidding harlotry and all other forms of public taboo, women became free to do what they wanted with whom they wanted without an inordinate amount of societal backlash or the need for a long-term relationship.And yet the screams of bloody murder have not quieted. Males ranging from teenagers to the elderly are gaining notoriety as shallow, disrespectful, insensitive game players with ulterior motives. The funny thing is that for once, a heaping portion of that delicious blame does not belong on their plate. Because in the end, as Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” And permission is an incredibly relevant term nowadays.

As women, the traditional gatekeepers and pacesetters, collectively dropped their standards and engaged in commitment-free, purely physical relationships, they opened the door for the treatment that their behavior elicits. When a guy is given the option to bypass courtship and gain entry without much effort, it takes no great Holmesian deduction to discover why proper treatment and respect fall by the wayside.But that does not mean that chivalry cannot be resuscitated, or that it does not live on still in the hearts of a good number of men. And after listening to me prattle on in rebuttal to her no doubt unconscious remark, I think my friend may have gained a new perspective.

After all, there are women all over the world who have male confidants and close friends, but they never for once take a step back and realize that the person with whom they are constantly sharing their romantic woes is in fact ­- male. And so to that widow of romance out there, when next the words seem about to spill unbidden from your lips, bite your tongue and look a little harder. You may have to seek, my lady, but ye shall find.

- Josh Bass is a sophomore majoring in print journalism.

Related posts:

1. But We’re Just Friends…(But He’s My Husband!)
2. Courtship–It Could Mean Drastic Measures