Seven Human Babies?
So during a walk we had in CO, this older couple approached us on horseback. We chatted a few minutes and they explained they were breaking the horse the woman was riding. They asked if we lived here–”at the house with the blue baby bow not too long ago”.
I explained we were relatives, and that it was my brother’s baby (though he’s over a year now!), and we were having a big party with all the kiddos, “my brother has two babies, and “we have seven” (of course you know I don’t miss an opportunity 
“Seven HUMAN babies??!!!” she asked with bug eyes.
Yes, I resisted a smart alack response. But I had fun thinking of things I would have liked to say in another life…
“No, funniest thing…I only actually had 3 human ones, the rest were hamsters.”
The sad part was, when Mallie walked out to see the “hoewsie“, the horse went berserk and almost bucked the lady off. After they calmed her, she said, “Trigger has never seen a child before; there aren’t any around where we live.”
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humor, motherhood | Word Warrior | 
August 6, 2008 9:57 pm
This is funny but it’s also sad. I guess human babies are strange these days.
Oh my!
Really shows what the world is coming too when someone has to say HUMAN babies.
Sad.
Wow. Truth be told, though, the lady’s comment echoes something I reflect on sometimes: I’m hardly ever around babies. Now, let me be clear, I am around many at church in passing. And I regularly see elementary aged children in driving by two homes I often pass. But at 24, I have no friends who have had babies (barring one I haven’t actively been friends with since I was 17). Two cousins I barely know have toddlers, but I’ve seen the babies very few times since the cousins tend to be no-shows when it comes to family events. I’ve only held a baby twice (it being one belonging to a mentioned cousin) in years. Perhaps I just am at the wrong places to see babies, but it certainly seems I don’t see all that many. My cousins, by and large, aren’t reproducing at the ages my aunts and uncles did. I don’t know how many years it may be since a baby has been in my home. I miss babies
(and intend to have a whole passel of them if I marry, Lord willing!)
I meant to say, “but it certainly seems there aren’t that many babies around (as in, people aren’t having so many).” I didn’t mean to say it seems I don’t see many.
That’s hilarious! When I tell people my husband has seven living brothers and sisters and two in heaven, they freak out! They even say things like, “Your mother in law is a saint!” Granted, she’s a very special lady, but really, she just obeyed God’s call on her life to have and adopt a bunch of kids!
My husband and I plan to give birth to and adopt as many as we can, and it seems like my mom’s pretty hesitant to accept that. She says things like, “Just have this one and see how you feel,” and “You might change your mind after three!” I certainly hope SHE’S the one who changes her mind. I’d hate to go through the pain of having my own mother not excited about one of my pregnancies.
And speaking of seven “HUMAN” babies, when I was in my first trimester, I constantly had dreams that I gave birth to a litter of bunnies, kittens, or squirrels! How’s that for weird!
LOL! In defense of the lady, she probably thought for a second when you said ‘seven babies’ you meant SEPTUPLETS! Or perhaps she thought you were one of those wierd people who call their cats babies. Funny story though!
You know, there is an epidemic of “furry” babies.
My SIL is done, she has two boys. Both are in school now, and she has a dog now that she takes everywhere with her, she has playdates at the park for this pup, etc.
Anyway, my dh heard about this -she lives out of state and his parents just got back from a visit – and said (to all of his local family!):
“[She] has God-given maternal instincts and she is using that dog as a replacement for a child.”
Yeah, they jumped all over him, LOL. He didn’t argue his point, he just listened to them talk, content he had made his point. I thought of that when I read this.
“Human” babies, indeed!
Ashley
http://www.homesteadblogger.com/Jonash2004
Ashley,
I’m so glad your husband pointed out an obvious truth. I do believe that a woman’s desire to nurture never ends–even if it’s confused with “non-human babies”…it’s just a God thing.
I used to think mothers with many children probably hoped their fertility was nearing an end. Or I wondered why couples would adopt “so many” children.
Now I realize how incorrect that thought was! I’m so thankful for my seven children, but the thought that there will be an end, a chapter closed, a part of life I will have to say goodbye to, is sad and sobering to me.
We have two bio-babies and 4 adopted babies. Everywhere we o we are a parade. We are 15, 13, 4, 3, 2 ,1. So often time some assume the babies belong to my teen girls…to quote them..”As if”. And I am proud to sy they are all human, most of the time!
okay…wow.. this makes me so sad..
LORD have mercy on us
I have to agree about the maternal instinct statements. I had a tubal after my third. Not that I didn’t love children or wouldn’t have like to have had more, I just didn’t think we could handle it financially, or physically (I had all via Csection). But now that I can’t have more children; I mourn. I never thought I’d ever feel this way but I do.
Mrs. Sara, I had those types of dreams too when I was pregnant! And I have also heard of other people who did the same…so you are normal!
My thought, also, is that the woman you met mistakenly thought septuplets, rather than seven stair-step children. Even to those of us who view children as a blessing, that would besomething to, well, react to!
I’ve known several women who were either infertile themselves, or they had infertile husbands, and it always surprised me SO much that they would just resign themselves to never having children. I’ve even known some who adopted animals instead. There are millions of human babies out there who need adoptive families, and it seems to me these women I knew either never even thought of it, or didn’t think adoptive children would be “theirs.”
I can totally understand being upset about it… if I had been infertile, I would have been crushed! But adoption is such a beautiful choice for a way to grow your family, and I’ll never understand why some infertile women don’t see it as a choice for themselves.
Sorry, that was kind of off topic.
I call my cats “babies,” but they are definately NOT human, ha!
I’ve been doing alot of reading lately regarding how people feel about couples who have many children, and I am sad to say that I am NOT surprised by the answer given by this lady.
I hate to admit to it, but until my recent readings and enlightment, I probably would have given the same response. However, I am asking God to help me not “look down” on couples who have many children or to “look down” on children in general (the more I “hang out” around here, the more that nasty attitude beings to fade).
So now when I see couples with “seven human babies,” I am learning to give a genuine smile and not a grimicing smerk.
Mrs. Lady S,
Wow…it is really encouraging to hear you say that! Isn’t it interesting how just the “exposure” to something besides the status quo can be so enlightening?
I, too, used to be one of those women brainwashed by feminist thinking…I said to a lady once, “Don’t you know what causes that?”
LOL–Isn’t that hilarious?!
I also used to secretly *tsk* couples who were “destroying” their children by homeschooling!
Seriously I think it all has to do with our culture and how we were raised, etc. A friend of mine who has a boy and another set of twin boys said to me (several years ago) that she wanted at least one more, and I gasped.
And I LOVE children… LOVE THEM.. and always have! So why did I do that????
Maybe most people are just shocked because it’s not “the norm”.
But… I am learning more and more not to be ashamed to live the counter-cultural lifestyle (in every area of my life). And I think the more you live it, the easier it gets to be bold like Kelly did and proudly say “I have seven babies!”, Or we home-school or we are modest because….
It does provide great witnessing opportunity. People are fascinated with those who are different.
And yes, my hubby and I have thought and prayed about adoption. Maybe the Lord will open up those doors someday soon. Who knows… it seems impossible right now.
Ladies, I know I just commented earlier, but can we please try to have a bit more compassion and respect for an older lady? “Seven babies” implies seven INFANTS, and it’s hardly surprising that an older lady would react to that!
I’m sure she was trying to be nice. Let’s assume the best about strangers we meet on the street!
Claire,
That’s a very real possibility that honestly, I didn’t think of!
I thought her response referred to a mindset where pets are treated very closely to humans. I didn’t even think she might have thought I had seven infants! That would be understandable. Still not sure…but the possibility is there.
To preface: I would be grateful if God were to bless our family with seven children. We are waiting to see how He works that.
I read this blog a lot, but this is the first time I have felt “compelled” to post. I pray that it is received in the spirit that I desire.
I just have to ask, why did you feel the need to tell this woman that you had 7 children at all? She was asking about your brother. Even in the post, you stated that you “never miss an opportunity;-)”. An opportunity for what? To deliberate shock someone? I just ask becuase I wonder what the motivation of your hear is with regards to this. Are we supposed to be using the number of our children to shock others so that later we can blog about them and expose their “sin” before the world? And also, it does appear as if you took the joyful celebration of your brothers new child (he only has two) away and put the focus on your seven.
Love God. Love people. The whole of the Law and the greatest commandments. If God blesses us with many children, shouldn’t we use that blessing as an opportunity to give testimony to His grace and provision in our lives in hopes that He will draw our listener to Himself?
There may have been more to this interaction than you posted about, and if I have missed something, I am greatly sorry. I am just commenting on what was posted and the heart-felt sorrow I felt for this woman who has been plastered across the blog-sphere with chance to defend herself. And for what purpose?
Amy,
That is an interesting, but fair response. Let me mention a few things up front:
My brother’s baby is over a year old…she had just “seen a blue bow one time” and was using it to benchmark the particular house. So I didn’t feel like I was stealing his glory. (Going back and reading the post too, for brevity’s sake, I didn’t include the conversation that took place in between the time we discussed my brother’s children and ours–makes it a little different.)
Secondly, I didn’t think about any damage to the woman who is nameless. It could have been a man that I called a woman for added anonymity?? Maybe I should reconsider, but I’ve never thought much about referring to an exchange with an anon person.
To answer “why” I look for the opportunity…it’s fair to call me on that. I do like people’s reponses (they’re not always negative). But not so I can blog about them, but because it usually opens up an opportunity to bring up my faith–almost always.
I guess because of how I feel about the sovereignty of God, I don’t think people should be shocked. And I just love the chance to “speak” to one more person. (Perhaps that comes from some weird bent in my personality that craves discussion and debate??–which can definitely be a vice, I know.)
Since I blog on these topics, sometimes responses find there way here–but never to defame people. (They are always anon.)
I apologize, though, if this post seemed aimed at attacking someone else, or prideful. I certainly didn’t intend that, nor do I want this blog to represent that.
I just think we ought to try to see the best in people, and not seek out enemies where they might not exist. And just because someone is anon, and might never know what was said about them, doesn’t make posting these kinds of stories about them all right, especially when they’re an older lady deserving of respect. I just feel so uneasy reading these things about people. I know people blog these stories all the time – about people they meet out and about, but they just make me so uncomfortable. We don’t know the full story, and often it seems to be a platform to make ourselves feel better about our choices.
I got the same feeling about the story you posted about the mother saying she’d sent her daughter to school. We don’t know her, or how she’s thought through her decision, and it just doesn’t seem right to me to parade her out as an example of sin. Why are we always assuming the worst about strangers? Just because they don’t know we’re talking about them doesn’t make it right.
Claire,
I appreciate your thoughts and have certainly taken these warnings to heart.
Let me point out though, you are adding to my actions, which makes you equally guilty of reproof…you mentioned the lady who sent her little girl to school:
I never mentioned anyone “being in sin”. Nor did I hold her up as an example. Her comment prompted my thoughts about the widespread pattern of early education being considered a “good thing”. I don’t mind being reproved, but I do mind being misrepresented.
Addressing general trends is what I do here; it’s where my heart is. If I overhear someone say something that reminds me of one of those trends, you ought not try to make me out as a slanderer. I think that is WAY off.
Kelly,
Thank you for your gracious response. I appreciate you taking the time to see my heart’s desire in my comment. Your blog has served me greatly and encouraged me to look counter-culturally at motherhood and womanhood. I know that you are are a woman and mother, just like the rest of us, who seeks God’s heart and desires only His will for your family. Thank you for continuing to post. I know that we will continue to be blessed, challenged, and exhorted by your thoughts and ministry. I see that a few comments came in after mine that challenged you on this post as well. I pray that my comment did not serve as an invitation to “shoot the messenger” so to speak. That was not my intent at all. I pray that we will all cling to greatest of commandments as we relate with one another in this world known as the blogsphere: Love God, Love Others.
Sincerely, Amy
If this is a tit-for-tat situation, then I am truly sorry for adding to your words. Thanks for reproving ME.
However, I still feel that these negative examples of strangers are NOT being brought out for any reason other than to reprove them. You are creating sin where there may be none. Are you not concerned WHY I would have gotten the impression you consider both these women sinners? You have not demonstrated any compassion for them. You’ve just rushed to hold them up as examples of how most people hate children, and hate the Christian worldview.
Hatred of children is something I take very seriously. Hatred of Christ even more so. But there is no excuse for misrepresenting people, and turning REAL people, anonymous strangers or not, into demons.
I absolutely appreciate why you do this. Bless you for it, it requires great strength. But this approach – constantly seeing the most negative around us – it just demoralises me. It’s a personal thing I guess. I just can’t bear to see the negative emphasised so disproportionately (and, I’m sorry, but your treatment of that Yahoo Answers thing is the very definition of disproportionate). This is my roundabout way of saying that my objections aren’t trying to suggest I think you’re sinning or anything else. I just think that maybe I need a different kind of inspiration at the moment, something more positive. To be honest, when I mentioned my sister earlier, part of my upset wasn’t just the terrible attitudes that can be shown towards her, it’s that she’s been very ill for two months now. She’s going to turn 13 in a week and we’ve been praying and praying she’ll be well by then, but at moment there’s no sign of relief. So that’s part of why I reacted so emotionally!
Actually, my sister could be used to explain exactly my point here. Yes, there are heartbreaking attitudes to Downs Syndrome children out there. I could tell you one or two shocking stories of things people have said to my face, and so could all my brothers and sisters. BUT, they are a tiny teardrop compared to the OCEAN of positive stuff we hear. My sister lights up the lives of everyone she meets. Truly, the overwhelming, overwhelming attitude of people towards her is just wonderful. It’s an absolute blessing.
And… at the moment, I need to hear the positive stuff. The Christ-mirroring stuff. The uplifting stuff. Weighing to heavily on the (very, very small) negative stuff just makes me anxious, fearful, and demoralised. And you know what? It’s not even the best way to challenge those awful attitudes. Just living happily, SHOWING the joy Caitlin brings us, is the best weapon we have. I know we need to know about the negative attitudes. But I do (oh, I do). And constantly restating them, setting myself up in opposition to everything around me – that’s not how I live like Christ. Call me a wuss, call me a coward. But it’s not an approach that works for me.
Oh, I’ve written another book! Yikes! God bless, anyway. Thanks for providing this forum Kelly – you have made me think deeply about things, which is certainly a blessing. And you are absolutely entitled to your own approach on your own blog. I’m just trying to explain why I’ve been uncomfortable reading sometimes. I know Jesus didn’t come to make us comfortable (that was a GREAT post by the way) – but I don’t think He came to set us tilting at windmills either.
I’m sure my take on this is different. That woman was daft. Horses shy away from any new movement in an area where their eyes were not focused hence when trail riding my green broke (meaning barely under the saddle and new to a rider being upon them) mare in the woods she would shy away from rabbits and though she had never been around young children she never shied away from them if they came straight towards where her eyes were focused. Anyone who breaks horses knows this so I must ascertain that it was an anti children bias most likely. On another note however my husband and I have 6 between us and he has a grandson 4 months older than our son. we get the don’t you know what causes that comments all the time. My reply is of course we do do you?