Comments on: More Problems With Dating

By: » Dating, Courtship, Marriage

» Dating, Courtship, Marriage — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:57:05 +0000

[...] More Problems With Dating [...]

By: tami

tami — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 22:42:00 +0000

great post!
we have just had our first child enter into a courtship only to have her “pull out” of it a few weeks in! she said he was looking towards marriage as a goal and she was not. not sure where we stand now.

By: Trisch

Trisch — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:46:00 +0000

I heartily agree! Especially with your comments about “if it’s not okay when you’re married, it’s not okay when you’re not!” (Well, that’s a paraphrase!

We had a situation at a homeschool get together last summer where some of the guys were carrying some of the girls around on their shoulders (not my girls!!!) My daughters were appalled, and I drove it home–”Would it be okay if one of those young people’s dads carried me around on their shoulders?!” That really hits it! It seems sick and disgusting, which is just what it is when you’re single, too!

When they were younger, I would say, “Would it be okay if Mr. So and So (our neighbor) would kiss me?” They all went “Ewwww!”

Like you said, he’s the same man before as after, and we’re the same woman, too. Praise God He forgives and restores years the locusts have eaten, but how much more praise to Him and how much more wonderful to truly save everything–mind, soul and body–for the one God intends for you!

We’ve learned a lot from observing different courtships, and while there can’t be a “one size fits all” method (we love methods, don’t we?! ), when entered into by those truly seeking God’s will, there will be a lot less potential for hurt and baggage than the typical stream of relationships the dating scene offers.

Good posts!

Trisch

By: Kim M.

Kim M. — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:12:00 +0000

Thanks so much for posting about this topic!
I wish I would have embraced the idea of “courtship” from day one.
It was such a foreign concept in my teen years.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 15:04:00 +0000

I am SO pleased to see this topic becoming a thread of discussion. We read Joshua Harris’ book when our oldest boys were in their early teens and were convicted by it. Being homeschoolers made the road easier for us than for some, I think, but all of our children understand the concept and want the benefits of holy courtship leading to blessed marriages. Having traveled teenage rollercoaster ourselves (we have one 21 y.o. and four teenagers now), I can attest that the road is not, as W.W. said, trouble free ~ and there is room for adaptation from the strictest interpretation of this lifestyle, but the mindset alone is well worth pursuing.

Thank you for so eloquently explaining this life changing concept for others who may not have even thought about the dangers of conventional dating ~ and the beauty of this option! This is a wonderful series of posts!

By: Angela

Angela — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 14:48:00 +0000

My daughter is only 7 but I have already been preparing her for purity. I have always told her that we save our kisses for our husbands. I love the idea of courting and wish my parents had led me in this direction. It may have saved me many mistakes and alot of heartache.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 06:24:00 +0000

I never dated, I met my husband in high school when I was 14, and not allowed to date. I was allowed to go to his home with my younger sister in tow, or he could go to my house. Both our grandmothers lived with our respective families. We didn’t go anywhere alone for years. I was 18 when we married, and have been married 24 years. My eldest son is married, #2 son is engaged, if my 16 year old daughter was invited somewhere by a male friend, I would consider letting her go on the condition her sister-in-law, or an older brother went along.

By: Mrs. Lady Sofia

Mrs. Lady Sofia — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 04:36:00 +0000

I have been reading your posts about dating and I agree with you completely. Although I was never “taught” the courtship method by my parents, I always thought of dating as a “meat market.” When I was in college, I could never understand how individuals could be in relationship after relationship with different people of the opposite sex. It never made any sense to me. I ALWAYS dreaded dating because it seemed so unappealing to me. However, I did try to “date” but it always ended-up as a disaster, and I was often left heartbroken and sad.

Regardless of my “dating mistakes,” I still believed in relying on God to help me find the proper mate for me to marry. He did (although it took some time). The man that I am married to now – we were friends (e.g., no romantic or physical involvement) for 7 (or was it years before we actually started “dating,” but when we did “date,” marriage was the main objective. My only regret is that I didn’t remain as “spotless” as I would have liked before the actual marriage date.

At any rate, now that I am married, I really see the importance of being pure, not just physically, but spiritually as well. I believe this is really an important part of marriage. I would encourage younger ones to NEVER compromise their purity in a non-marital relationship. Why? Because there will always be regrets (even after repentance).

By: Mrs. and Mama K

Mrs. and Mama K — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:38:00 +0000

now to convincing the kids of these facts…I wish our youth group had taught more than “don’t have sex” about purity along with all this…

By: Ana Smith

Ana Smith — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:24:00 +0000

“But how does someone know a person is the right one unless they’ve dated several people?”

This is another reason why I love my church and your’s (a sister church). Guys and girls are able to become great friends without any thought of a romantic relationship or flirting while surrounded by parents and little blessings. Sincere friendship is pursued, not temporary relationships that end up hurting both parties.