The Blessed, Mysterious Reality in My Womb

bw-preggy

Sweet child of mind, that I have yet to meet—God has woven such a mysterious reality in my womb!

I have not yet held you, and yet I hold you every moment!

I have not yet met you, and yet I know you intimately.

I have not yet touched you, and yet we haven’t stopped touching since the day you were conceived.

I have not yet carried you and yet I’ve carried you everywhere you’ve ever been!

I have not yet seen you and yet I constantly see your little hands and feet making your presence known.

As I carry you, the sweet reality of your dependence on me–the fact that no one else on earth can protect you right now, can be your home, can bring you out of this cocoon into the light to live–that realization overwhelms me and I can’t find the words to thank my Heavenly Father for this privilege He has allowed me one more time….

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35 Responses to “The Blessed, Mysterious Reality in My Womb”

  1. Lucy T says:

    Kelly,you are a gifted writer.I have pcos and have had many challenges becoming pregnant.We have also lost 3 of our babies before birth.God has blessed us so far with 5 living children and I am humbled and over whelmed with the joy and wonder of it each day but never more than when that life is growing inside of me.You captured the feeling very well with your words.

  2. Lucy T says:

    Kelly, I wanted to add that you look great.I hope you feel as good as you look.I don’t do pregnancy very well.

  3. Robin says:

    You are blessed!

    Robin

  4. You’re looking good, Kelly. And it IS a blessing, isn’t it?

  5. Word Warrior says:

    Be aware, looks can be deceiving ;-) I’ve gained 42 pounds (and I’m not done yet), I walk like an old lady, and have to take a break from my rush every time I answer the phone. In fact, I just had to get my son to help me off my knees from the floor (what WAS I thinking?)

    Avi asked me, “Mom, am I going to be as fat as you when I grow up?” :-P

    NEVERTHELESS…my life verse right now is “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which will be revealed toward us.”

    It is but for a moment….thank you for your prayers!

  6. Isn’t it funny how pregnancy weight is so different than “real” weight? I gained 42 lbs. this pregnancy, too…but I don’t feel like I look at different except in the belly and hips. I would say the same about you; your face and arms don’t look like you’ve gained a pound–usually the first things to show.

    And, it is such a blessing. I’ve been having fun being pregnant *with* you! Hopefully, though, I will be leaving the realm of pregnancy soon! Two more days until the due date!

    Blessings, Kelly!

  7. Word Warrior says:

    Bethany,

    Oh wow I didn’t realize you were so close–this is the really exciting part! (Or where I pray incessantly, “Lord PLEASE let it be today!”) If you need any natural induction tips–I’m your gal…I know them all.

    • Tracy says:

      I’m so glad to read that you know all the natural induction tips ‘ cause I do not! And I so want/need to know them. I have been told that I have gestational diabetes and that my baby is already 8plus pounds, yet I still have 5 weeks to go. They tell me that they will induce me in 3 weeks. Is there a way I can go into labor naturally so I need not be induced?

      • Lori says:

        Hi Tracy, I’ve also tried all the natural remedies, and I’d just recommend herbs and one physical intervention – sweeping/stripping of the membranes. It’s only midly uncomfortable, and if your baby is ready to come it’ll help you go into labor soon. If not, you’ll just feel uncomfortably crampy (nothing like the discomfort of pitocin, which I’ve also had to do). So it’s safe for the baby. A friend of mine had her membranes swept w/ all three of her pregnancies, and it worked 2 times (she went into labor w/in 24 hours). I’ve only done it once and I went into labor w/in 12 hours.

        Herbs:
        Evening Primrose Oil (capsules)
        Penny Royal (take in tea form)
        Raspberry Leaf tea
        Christopher’s Prenatal Formula

        this close to your due date is a good time to start all these (I start about 5 weeks before my due date)
        I am not a doctor or nurse. DO talk to your health care provider first before starting new supplements.

        Skip the castor oil treatment. Unless you just want all the practice of breathing through really intense contraction but w/ no guarantee of going into labor. Ask me how I know. Or rather, don’t. ;)

        • Lori says:

          By the way, I should add that sweeping of the membranes is best done on or after the EDD – I have no idea of the efficacy when done early. But I’d still much rather that than pitocin. Also, you don’t sound worried, but just a small reminder to continue not to worry too much about having a big baby. So far my smallest baby was 10 lbs, 8 oz, and they have all been delivered vaginally, and I’m not what anyone would consider “big boned.” They can have a harder time manouvering under the pelvic bone (I’m told), but side lying is a good compromise if your delivery person wants you reclining to aid this (or just his/her comfort). It’s far more comfortable and more protective against tearing than semi-reclining (which the delivery person tends to prefer). This just from my own experience.

          • Tracy says:

            Thank you so much for the advice. I will get some tea amd I already take the evening primrose. The doctor mentioned ‘sweeping’ so that may be done soon. I guess I am just used to having babies (I’ve had 7 so far) that are around 8 pounds and cannot imagine one that is 11 or 12 as they warm me this one could be. I am 6 feet tall and have a lot of room for baby to grow. But that should not mean that they can go ahead and grow too big! I dread a C-section. All my other babies were 100% natural. Thanks again.

      • Word Warrior says:

        Well…the thing about induction is that there are some things that seem to be able to start labor, but it’s usually not effective until you’re really close anyway. Bummer, I know. The most effective thing I’ve read/used is actually quite dangerous. I wouldn’t suggest doing it without a doctor knowing and without some careful understanding about it. Nipple stimulation–preferably with a breast pump. But as I said, there is a WARNING. It can cause intense contractions and put the baby under stress so it should only be done with the oversight of a doctor’s instructions at your stage in pregnancy. It is generally only recommended for women who are close to or past their due date.

        Other things include the natural prostaglandins found in semen when you have “relations” with your husband. It prepares and ripens the cervix.

        I’ve heard eating lots of pineapple (not canned), sucking your thumb ;-) and applying pressure at the pressure point between your thumb and forefinger.

        Let me encourage you too, that all my babies are usually well over 8 pounds and I really can’t tell any difference in delivery. The size has never been an issue at all so don’t let it scare you ;-)

        Good luck!

        • Tracy says:

          Thanks also to you Kelly,
          I will follow your advice (nipple stimulation)starting in another 2 weeks. The other advice (where husband is involved)is something we do everyday, anyway.(grins)
          I will ask a reflexologist or acupressure person to show me where the pressure points are.
          I have need to be worried about an induction not working as I have gone overdue with all my babies, except the last. And I am told that if the induction (at 38 weeks) does not work they will have to do a c-section. I cannot bear that…I feel sure.
          So, all your babies were big. And you are not 6 feet tall either…at least I don’t think you are. If you can do it…..
          Hmmmm, maybe we can refuse an induction and just let baby get real big and deliver it in it’s own time. Hmmmmmmm
          Except that they say to me that babies that are too big and have had a mother with gestational diabetes can have lung/breathing problems and that my uterus will wear out faster then with a healthy pregnancy. And I do want to keep my uterus in good condition as I am only 35 and hope to have more babies.

  8. Dainelle says:

    What you said is so true. On Mother’s Day I just got an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness that God has allowed me to have 2 children so far and has allowed me to carry this 3rd baby. I have about 11 weeks to go and our next one will be here.
    I just pray and hope he allows me to carry and have even more precious blessings. :)

  9. Queen of the Roses says:

    I find it wonderful that you are able to cherish and love children regardless of the cost. Any woman who can cherish her pregnancy as a blessing and not a burden is truly a work of God and NOT man.

    I am just wondering how you all do it! I was never really raised to cherish children. I was just taught that children “just happen” as the result of getting married, and that you have the choice to have them or not have them. I was never taught they were a blessing from God . . .

    Sometimes, I wonder what’s wrong with me. I wonder if I will ever be able to break free from the shell that I have built around myself from believing and practicing the “feminist lie” that I was fed all through my life (without me even knowing it) about how children are a burden and that two is more than plenty, and wanting more only leads to your own “doom and downfall.”

    I truly thought I was ready to embrace pregnancy, until I recently had a late period. I did the typical anti-Christian/feminist approach: I panicked, I told myself I wasn’t ready to home school, I told myself I didn’t want children or the responsibility, etc., etc., etc. How horrible! Of course, my period came later, but I failed a very important test from God. Why couldn’t I just be happy to be pregnant and desire children? Why wasn’t I happy? I feel much guilt and shame.

    Kelly, your post today made me realize that I have a LONG way to go and ALOT to learn about accepting children. Tears swelled in my eyes when I read your post; so sincere and real. I kept thinking as I read, “Why can’t I be like this? Why can’t I feel like this?” Maybe some day I’ll “come around . . . “

  10. Word Warrior says:

    Queen of the Roses,

    You’re honesty is endearing…keep pondering the truth of the blessing of children, keep reading God’s Word, keep praying that He would give you a desire for “His reward”…and then TRUST. Above all else, it comes down to falling back on His complete sovereignty and power. “In our weakness, He is strong.”

  11. Ruth says:

    Beautiful! Both words and pics…. absolutely beautiful. :D

    Blessings & hugs to you.

  12. Christine says:

    You look so beautiful, Kelly! What a blessing that you will meet your little one so soon! Praying for a blessed birth!

  13. Kelly- Well, I would take you up on the induction tips, but as we’ve already been in the birth center one night with false labor (stalled out at 3 cm), I think I’m just going to let things take their course. If I try to get around God’s timing, He’ll probably just give me another false labor, and frankly, I would rather get the sleep! :-P

    Queen of Roses- You know, even after I came to embrace children as a blessing, I did have one month where I had a late period after my daughter’s birth and ended up in tears–I didn’t think I was ready for a second baby. It turned out I wasn’t pregnant. Then, two months later, I was pregnant again; happy this time, but then I miscarried at 6 weeks. Then, I got pregnant the following month with the baby I’m about to deliver. My point in saying all this? As women, we can sometimes become overwhelmed by all that pregnancy means. Blessing or burden, however you see it, it’s still a lot of work!! Even for those of us who see pregnancy and children as blessings, we can sometimes feel crabby, overwhelmed, scared, or unprepared. Those are natural feelings. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Trust that God IS doing a work in your heart–He is, or you wouldn’t be having these thoughts and feelings right now. And, things are truly so different once you’ve seen your own child. I was never a “kid person” until I became a mother; now I love everybody’s kids! God gives you what you need, but sometimes He only gives it at the MOMENT you need it most. He’ll turn your heart when you need it turned. Trust Him.

    Blessings,
    Bethany

  14. shanie says:

    kelly, you look phenonmenal! i hope i carry it that well … someday… ;-)

  15. Missi says:

    You look great, Kelly! i was wondering about you today and how you were doing. Thanks for sharing. <3

  16. Word Warrior says:

    Thanks, Missi! Hope to be at church Sunday to catch up with you!

  17. Quinn says:

    “I was never a “kid person” until I became a mother; now I love everybody’s kids! ” – Bethany

    Me too!!! I think we can find joy in all children after having our own because they remind us of our own! Remember Queen of the Roses, you only have to take it one day at a time, one baby at a time. Homeschooling is a LONG way off for you, so you don’t need to be ready now.

  18. Ruby says:

    Beautiful thoughts.
    You do look beautiful and are blessed indeed.
    Ruby
    (Jealous…. I didn’t even look that great first time round!!!)

  19. Rosalie says:

    Every pregnancy, every birth, every child is such a gift, a precious gift. I am amazed every time at the bond I have with my baby even before he/she is born. Thank you for sharing with us your ‘love letter’ to your baby.

  20. Katie LaPierre says:

    great comments. I like how Quinn said that we need to take it one day at a time, one baby at a time. God’s grace is sufficient for today… not tomorrow because he told us not to worry about tomorrow. His grace can always carry us through today and the moment we start thinking or worrying about tomorrow is when that grace is drained from us and we feel anxious. I am doing this myself. Taking it one day at a time. What a better life I live by doing so! My husband and I have been married for two years and we have two under two. We have felt led to let the Lord plan our family. I have been tested in this conviction GREATLY. I wanted to do some form of birth control after my last one (he is 5 months now) but never felt the “go-ahead” from the Lord. I am so glad I didn’t/haven’t. My spirit is at complete peace with trusting God but my flesh cries out “I CAN’T!”. That is where God wants us. In a place where we need to trust Him for our strength, our worth, our everything. I am SO sick all nine months of pregnancy and have to eat constantly in order to not throw up (hence the 60 pound weight gain this last time). I am eating as early as 3 a.m. to not throw up. I take a drug called zofran given to chemo patients. Sometimes I think “God, if you wanted me to have so many kids why did you make my pregnancies so difficult.” 2 cor. 4: 16-18 helped me greatly. Our light and momentary troubles are working for us a great glory! My troubles are light and momentary from the Lord’s perspective and just think I get a beautiful baby out of it!

  21. Kim M. says:

    How beautiful you look! And thank you for sharing your thoughts about your precious little one.

  22. Mrs W says:

    Queen of the Roses, I am guessing this blog mostly supports home schooling, but please don’t think you can’t raise Godly children if you don’t home school. If you train them right, they should do just fine at a public or private school too.

    My personal experience is that I know far more public schooled kids from strong Christian families that in adulthood are awesome Christians, sadly, very few of the home schoolers I know are like they. Most of them have walked away from all the good their parents tried to teach them. I don’t necessarily think it’s a problem from home schooling, it’s just an observation I’ve made.

    My husband works at a public high school in Louisiana and he’ll tell you that yes, they have their problems, but he does know several Christian kids from good families that have risen above the other students and do the right thing because of what is in their hearts.

    Anyway sorry I didn’t want to turn this entirely to that, I just know a lot of moms who are scared of having kids because of the home schooling aspect.

  23. Deanna says:

    Lovely pictures of you and baby in the making.
    God Bless,
    ~Deanna~

  24. Leslie says:

    Hi Kelly!

    You look so radiant! We are praying for you!
    Enjoy this unique time of sweet closeness with this little one….you, this little blessing and the LORD.

  25. Belinda says:

    How exciting, Kelly!! I have been glancing at your ticker every now and then and lately I’ve been thinking ‘wow, she’s getting close!’. I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy. Cherish it.
    I will pray all goes well with delivery for baby and mama and hubby and children at home(or wherever they may be for delivery).
    You are truly blessed!!

  26. jessinperu says:

    You look beautiful!!!!!

  27. Sister Mary Carmichael of the Great Lakes says:

    Truly a gift from God. Praise be to the Lord. God bless all ye children. Yahweh has risen. Praise to Allah, Jehovah, and Ezekial. The constellations have shown us the great way, truth, and light of Orion’s belt.
    Ecclesiastes 4:18

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