Comments on: Guarding and Growing Your Marriage

By: shannon

shannon — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:56:43 +0000

Amen sister, I couldn’t agree more with all of that! I love your metaphor of gardening!

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:04:28 +0000

Rachael, the more I encounter you here, the more I look forward to your comments. Do you have a blog? I’d love to read more, as time allows. Thanks.

By: Rachel Falaschi

Rachel Falaschi — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:07:54 +0000

Mrs. W,
Prayer does not accomplish greater works, it IS the greater work. God wants us on our knees crying out to Him, communicating with Him. So whatever brings us to our knees in desperation before Him is right where He wants us (as backwards as that may sound). It is often because of our deep communion with Him that we are able to discern His will for us. Don’t give up on prayer.
I’m thinking of the blind man calling out to Jesus as He was passing by. Everyone around him was trying to shut him up, but in his desperation he only called louder. Jesus finally called him over and asked him what he wanted (like he didn’t know!) He wanted this man before him communicating with him. He wants you there as well. Go to Him. Yes he already knows your needs, but he also wants you to TELL him about them.

Blessings,
Rachel

By: Danielle

Danielle — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 15:38:07 +0000

My heart is heavy. I just returned from my haircut and learned that my stylists husband is leaving her. I have been praying for her and we have been trying to find ways to minister to her family. I know God will glorify Himself in this situation. Yet, my heart is still burdened for my friend and her family. Please keep them in your prayers. God is in the restoration business….so I cling to His sovereignty and grace for my friend. Pray that I also rely on God for His wisdom and never ending source of love to point her to Him through this intense trial!
Thanks sisters!

By: Word Warrior

Word Warrior — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:53:27 +0000

Audrey,

My heart aches for you, and I just pray that God will (because He certainly can!) restore and revive the relationship in your marriage. May He give you a renewed vigor to pour out love on your husband, and may your husband’s heart be softened to return it back to you. This is my prayer for you!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:57:14 +0000

I’m new here – just found you last week. I appreciate your heart for lifetime marriage. This is a topic that my husband and I cover on a very regular basis, and I wanted to share a thought from our conversations with you: if marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church, then what picture does it paint? Is it merely commitment, the fulfillment of a covenant? Or is it something far deeper, far more appealing to the question that resounds in all our hearts – “Can I really have a relationship where I will be safe?” As Jesus prays for us His Bride in John 17, He notes that eternal life is knowing God, and Jesus Christ whom He sent. Paul says that Jesus became sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God, thereby bridging the gap so that we could have relationship with a holy God. While we were yet sinners, God commended His love toward us and drew us to Himself through His Son’s sacrifice.

Pete (my husband) and I have come to believe that the entire purpose of Christ’s coming was to reconcile us in relationship with God the Father. (Again, see 2 Cor. 5) With this picture in mind, we’ve found a much more solid ground for our marriage, something based first not in commitment, but in relationship with one another. I think too many times, the emphasis on commitment first kills the relationship in marriage, kills the relationship in our walk with God, because we’re so busy living out our end of the bargain that we often miss the heart of the other who is sitting there, loving us.

It’s just a thought, and it’s incomplete, and it’s a book already! I just thought I’d share! Thanks for putting this out there!

By: alix

alix — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 08:47:42 +0000

I agree that we should do our best to make marriage work. But we shouldn’t avoid divorce at any cost. Sometimes divorce can be the best thing for a family. I’m speaking from experience, since my parents are divorced. My childhood was very happy, apart from the atmosphere at home due to the bad relationship between my parents. I don’t have one single positive memory about them together. On the other hand, I vividly remember the constant fighting, bickering, reproaches, verbal and sometimes physical abuse. I remember one particular fight, when I was 3 years old, they both became violent and started throwing things at each other. I was so scared that I tried to call the police. That was my first phone call. I also remember our holidays as a family, ruined by fighting and tears as soon as they started. By the time I was 6, my father was a husband and a father in name only. He spent his money, free time, weekends and holidays with his mistress and her child. He came home late at night and went to work early, so I barely ever saw him. Our home had become a kind of free hotel, where he had his laundry done and sometimes ate his meals. Did I mention that he never gave any money for our expenses, despite the fact that he had a very good salary? Finally, my mother had enough and divorced him. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. Suddenly, my father became interested in me and started acting as a father. I spent more time with him after the divorce than when we actually lived in the same house. For the first time in my life, I no longer lived in an atmosphere of constant terror and fighting. I would love to have a lssting marriage, but I won’t compromise. I pray to God that, if our marriage no longer works, my husband and I will have the wisdom to end it before our feelings degenerate into animosity and hate. Staying together for the kids, or for any other reason besides mutual love, is the wors thing a couple can do. I’ve seen a lot of unhappy marriages and I’d rather divorce ten times than grow old in a marriage full of mutual anger and resentment.

By: Audrey

Audrey — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:30:58 +0000

Kelly, I think you wrote this for me. My husband and I used to have the best marriage, we truly cared for one another in our words and actions. It was beautiful. I never thought it would be different, but it is so different now. Distance, unkindness, rejection, abandonment, all have made my heart grow hard towards him. It is only beacuse I was tired of being hurt and the hardness helps to lesson that hurt. But it seems that we just continue to grow seperate lives. I do want our marriage to last, we have 8 beautiful children, all the more reason to fight for it. The Lord knows the end of this story and I hope it brings Him glory. Its a hard and very lonely path to walk.

By: Deanna

Deanna — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 19:13:43 +0000

Encoraging marriage in this day and age is a wonderful godly ministry! Kelly, awesome blog you witness on. 1Titus 4:6 If thou put the brethen in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained.

To encourage Christian marriages is a beautiful ministry.

1Titus 4:3 shares what’s going on in the latter times by some. We are in a time where forbidding marriage and abstaining from meats is looked upon favorably by many.

How sweet and comforting God will be to those who have suffered unwanted divorces when the injured party goes to Him for comfort. The injured party that was dumped, verbally abused, hit, belittled, ignored, abandoned, cheated on will need understanding and compassion from the body of Christ.

It’s possible to pray for the spouse that brought injury into their marriage/spouse. The one that’s in a difficult marriage or goes through a difficult unwanted divorce may be shackled by the stigma you didn’t do enough, you weren’t good enough, it was all your fault, you should of tried harder, you’re a failure, you’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re…

It will be God that truly comforts and straightens out the self destructive thoughts that are torturing the innocent ones. So don’t stop praying.

Concerning marriage…when both husband and wife long to remain married and are willing to work together in harmony within God’s boundaries, will nourish the union.

God Bless Mrs. W.

Shock of shocks Ladies…you as a wife can be doing everything right and the husband still rule with a heartbreaking critical spirit where no matter what you do, you can’t please them. Yes, the door can swing both ways.

Mrs. W keep praying. You are going to need God’s encouragement, guidance and strength to keep you going. Living with a narcissistic spouse can drain the energy right out of you. Do your best to not be angry at God…He is the one that will get you through this. He will be your best friend and shoulder to cry on. He will show you the way in which to go.

By: Angela Cribb

Angela Cribb — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:08:39 +0000

Kelly,

God is truly using your blog. I see the hearts of all these women drawn to those who are hurting and reaching out to try and help them. God is truly amazing. Hope you and yours are doing well.