If you do ever have another baby, try waterbirth – it cuts the pain by at least 30% – my last three were waterbirths, and vastly different from each other (my smallest baby, my biggest baby, and my longest labour) – but all were so much more *in control* – the water helped soothe and melt away a lot of the dicomfort that goes nuclear toward the end…
Congratulations on your beautiful little baby girl – she is darling! And you did GREAT!
much love
stephanie

I would like to comment here as I think I have something to add which may be helpful (if anyone ever reads all the way to comment 165!) I have 6 children; our first was born in hospital with nitrous oxide gas as pain relief, the others all home births.

Some thoughts that may be beneficial to focus and reflect on in the time leading up to the birth of a baby and during the labour and birth. If any of these resonate with you then I suggest you regularly think about them as part of preparing for a birth.

Children are a blessing from God.

God designed a woman’s body to give birth.
(I am aware that it is not always possible for a woman to birth naturally, but many can. Medical help is a blessing & has saved many lives, but I believe it should not become the normal ‘default’ option. I am speaking here more about medical interventions not necessarily pain relief.)

I have been through labour and given birth before, and with God’s help, I can do it again.

The pain of labour is ‘good’ pain – the muscles of my uterus are doing their job of contracting and taking my body through the process of giving birth to this baby.
(’good’ pain being something along the lines of nothing is wrong or needs healing or ‘fixing’.)

Each contraction is one less that I have to go through, one closer to the baby’s birth.

This is only a short time (usually only 1 or 2 days) out of my whole life.

At the end of this labour, we will have a new baby in our family.

“Dear God, bring me closer to you through this birth.”

Look at photos of yourself and previous children just after their births – focus on the joy you felt at having a precious new baby in your family.

Even though home birth is my preferred choice, I am always open to changing the plan if the labour does not progress as expected. Be open to plans changing.

Things that may help during labour & birth: movement eg walking, rocking, being upright rather than on your back (my most 2 recent daughters were born with me kneeling on the floor and upper body leaning on bed or couch); water – shower, bath, birthing pool (have used water to greatly help in labour with 4 children, 2 of whom were born in the water); having a quiet, calm atmosphere – whatever helps you relax eg music, darkened room, candles etc (probably not so easy in a hospital setting but see what you can do); heat packs; massage… There are many options that can help you through the process of giving birth without artificial drugs. I guess what I’m trying to say is that natural birth doesn’t have to be, “Grit your teeth and endure it, if you’re not going to have medical pain relief, you can’t have anything.” When our bodies relax (as much as this is possible during labour) they produce hormones which help in reducing pain.

So, well done for giving natural birth a go. No condemnation if you choose not to if there is a next time. But remember that a next time may be totally different, and perhaps there are some options that you may not have considered before.

Blessings,
Angela

I’m sorry for the late entry on this, but I just read it. I think you will always remember that you felt that way, but you will eventually forget the severity of the pain, but it takes a while. Maybe this is part of God’s family planning. “are you kidding! get the heck away from me today!” I had my first with an epidural I got when he was crowning and so I felt all the contractions. I went very quick and was only at the hospital for about 35 minutes before he was born. My second, I vowed to go natural. My water broke at 11 pm and we went to the hospital around 3 when I started getting really uncomfortable. Well, i was dilated 2 cm. and then 4 hours later I was 2.5 cm. WHAT! This is terrible. All this pain and no gain. I got the epidural and the pitocin. It was a very easy birth. I couldn’t push him out and they had to use vacuum and ultimately forceps. The MD said my bones were shaped funny and I would probably never be able to get out out on my own. Wow, how disappointing. Well, I didn’t tear with this one like the 1st one, which was a 5 degree, that means from one end to the other. But I was hurt down there so bad I felt like I know someone must feel after being raped repeatedly. it was horrible. I could barely walk. I didn’t feel this way with #1 and they used forceps and I tore. What the heck? Well, baby number three I am going to try to go natural again because each time I had an epidural my blood pressure will crash and babies hearts stop. Now they always seem to be able to take care of it quickly, but still, it makes me nervous. I tried a birthing plan, and my OB said my best bet was to just stay home as long as possible. So I did. the big day came and I got in the bathtub for about 2 hours. Then I said let’s go. We got the hospital when I was 6 cm. and I labored. I yelled during contractions and screamed even. WHen my water broke it became almost unbearable because his head hit my cervix and I couldn’t believe how much the pain increased. But, I made it. I said, I can’t do this anymore, (which is code for the baby is about to be born) apparently a lot of natural birth moms say that. I remember my mom telling me that pushing would make the pain stop, so I pushed…not hard, just a little to make the pain stop. IN a few minutes the doc was in and they laid me flat on my back. I had been on my hands and knees to relieve the pressure on my cervix. So I am laying there and they say push! So I do. They say push again. So I do. They say PUSH. and I said NO! If I push now I will tear. I know it. and then the Doc puts one finger on me down there and it is like a branding iron. Suddenly I realize why I hurt so bad with baby #2. The nurse was doing that thing the whole time where they use their thumb to help you stretch and not tear and on top of that they were probably telling me to push when my body was telling me to wait, but I didn’t know then because I was numb from the waist down. So anyway, I lay there looking up at the ceiling and no joke I felt like I could here the Jeopardy clock ticking. Everyone in the room is staring at my bottom and just waiting. I finally say OK, I’m ready and one more push and he was out. I have to say that after they took him off my stomach I wasn’t staring at him like with the others. I was soooo tired, It just didn’t even occur to me. I heard him cry, I knew he was OK, but my eyes weren’t glued to him like with the others. i was just soooo exhausted. But he nursed and then after about an hour of rest I felt soooo good. I was dressed walking the halls and I didn’t even need an ice pack. With #2 I had an icepack constantly for about 2 weeks.

I don’t know what the point of my story is, other than women just like to share their birth stories and maybe that each birth is different. Also, looking back I do feel like after all is said and done I prefer the natural childbirth. I may not think so in the midst of it, but I do prefer it. not on moral grounds or anything, just on the grounds that I prefer they way I feel afterward and also a little bit the sense of power and independence, that I CAN do it.

Your baby and whole family is beautiful and I really appreciate everything you do with this blog.