You Can Ask, on One Condition…
A friend sent me this quote…
From the Fed-Up Homeschooler’s List:
#18 …
If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you’re allowed to ask how we’ll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can’t, thanks for the reassurance that we couldn’t possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one!
There are a bunch more I found, that while true, most are too snarky to post 
Related posts:
Tags: humor
homeschooling, humor | Word Warrior | 
July 13, 2009 8:44 am
Audio available soon!
LOL!
Thanks for another one to add to my list! We are homeschooling for the first time this fall. One piece of advice my friends who homeschool gave me was to have answers ready for people’s questions or as one friend said “I find it fun and challenging to have stupid answers ready for stupid questions!” Thanks for the new one!!
That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing! I’d love to read the other ones too. ;~)
Great one. Thanks, Kelly, for upholding your own standards and showing only those that are appropriate for Christian response.
I’ve seen the list, and it is extremely snarky, but not any more snarky than home schoolers tend to be to people who don’t home school. Home schoolers are extremely snarky to me even though I respect their choice and don’t ask stupid questions. And that’s just when they find out if I’m “not sure” if I want to home school or not.
Here we go again…
Clarification-
Kelly, that wasn’t for you. (I’ve often thought the comment in your post, but have never said it out loud. It’s just too true!!!)
Nah, I meant it for the direction this threat will be taking for the next 20, 30, or 40 or so posts…:-)
Ugh! I meant to say “thread” not “threat”. Must have proper spelling, or will give too much fuel to homeschool critics charge that we parents aren’t adequately qualified to teach our own children!!!
(Sorry, did that sound a little snarky???)
I think I need some sleep now–
Still praying for a safe and uneventful delivery.
What? Snarky is a bad thing? LOL
It is hard to hold my tongue when dealing with those who would belittle our child’s education because it is counter-cultural. Thank the Lord He holds it for me!
KB,
LOL!!!
Sometimes, nobody belittles anything. Home schoolers are just snobs who think of themselves far more highly than they ought to think. I have never had a problem with those that want to home school their kids, but when you, UNASKED, just start DEMANDING I home school mine or I’m a “wicked jezebel” then yes, I’m going to get upset.
Nobody here has done that, but many home school families do. They think they are all that and then some.
Mrs. W.
Perhaps your comment would be a little less prickly if you didn’t make a blanket statement like “homeschoolers are just snobs who think of themselves more highly than they ought to think…”
You must expect to receive some negative reaction from that, because in fact, not all homeschoolers are snobs
and probably most are not.
From many of your comments toward homeschooling, you seem to just instantly retaliate and be defensive–whether invited to or not.
From a homeschooler’s perspective (and really what this little quote in the post is about), we HAVE had to deal with an overload of nasty assumptions, rude comments and often downright ugly confrontations, usually from people who know very little about homeschooling.
So if you want to engage your thoughts, just try to be a little more gentle (“A soft answer turns away wrath”.)
“Home schoolers are just snobs who think of themselves far more highly than they ought to think.”
- Wow. Can we say blanket statement?
“Nobody here has done that, but many home school families do.”
- Oh, thanks for the clarification. You know, you are allowed to back-pedal before you hit “Add your Comment.”
Sorry, Kelly, I was typing while you were posting. Wouldn’t have beaten that horse otherwise (the quote, not a person).
Actually, I have had most home schoolers I know act like complete and utter snobs. My MIL gives me a hard time about not being “sure” even though she had one of her kids in private school, it would be wrong, according to her for US to put OURS in private Christian school. It’s only ok for her kids.
I just get sick of the jabs that those of us who still aren’t sure get. If people want us to home school, they are going about it the wrong way.
Why is it that home schoolers are allowed to make snarky comments like the one quoted on the post, but those of us who don’t home school or may not want to aren’t allowed to be sick of the inconsistency? Home schoolers do to non-home schoolers what they accuse us of doing…
Marci- “We are homeschooling for the first time this fall.” Yay for y’all! Good luck and Have Fun!
Mrs. W.,
My suggestion to you is to get to know some different homeschoolers…based on your comments today and last week (“Most homeschoolers I know have left their faith”) you have a REALLY small scope of comparison
I know from my own personal experience, that I sometimes may be “snarky” with my responses about homeschooling because it is sooooo very hard doing something so outside of the norm. Homeschooled children and their families are such a small minority in this country (and most of the world) that nearly everyone has a comment for you and you really just get tired of having to defend your choices. I’m sure those who have chosen not to homeschool, yet are surrounded by many who do are probably also tired of having to justify their choices. However I think the comments towards homeschoolers are far more numerous considering anyone in public who finds out you homeschool has a comment or silly remark. I’ve only homeschooled for two years now and it amazes me how even the checkout lady has to put in her two cents about it.
My family has been quietly supportive, by that I mean they don’t consistently beat me up about the choice, but they do love to “quiz” my kids to be sure I’m teaching them what they feel they should know. It’s just really hard to be so different. I personally only know a handful of people in my area that homeschool versus the plethora of those who don’t. Our church has over 2000 members, yet there’s maybe 5 homeschooling families.
While I don’t think there’s any good excuse for being “snarky”, we should all try to be as pleasant and loving as we can, I just hope others can understand that we get it “from all sides”… family, friends, strangers, church members, etc.. We’re the “weirdos” and sometimes that’s a very heavy burden to bear and sometimes that ends up with a “snarky” response.
And I don’t for the record, think of this posted one as snarky. I think it’s quite funny and sadly accurate!!
I have never received pressure to homeschool from anyone. But apparently others have people in there own circle of influence pressuring them. I’m sorry for that…
However, I have dealt with many negative comments about homeschooling now that my oldest son is 5 and therefore kindergarten age. Most people don’t understand why I wouldn’t want to send him away and get a few hours of “peace and quiet” at home. Umm, I have 2 other children (younger) and another on the way. There is no quiet, but plenty of peace.
Rachel… “There is no quiet, but plenty of peace.”
I love that!
Speaking of peace…just wait until your little ones are older and don’t beg you for all the latest “Dora” stuff from the store like certain other impressionable little people. (Ahhh, the benefits of socialization!)
Maybe that sounds–oh never mind! I’m just tired of using that word.
Look, I’ve still got my money in my wallet and the children don’t miss any of that at all. Maybe that’s not important to other folks, but it works for us!
I kind of thought that toward the end of the last thread (the Voddie Baucham one), there were a couple of digs about spelling, and “stringing” a sentence together–perhaps directed at me in relation to what I had written. I can recognize snarky when I see it…maybe it’s because I’m snarky at times!
Remember, my disclaimer–I homeschooled ALL ten of my kids, but, w/the exception of one, they eventually went to traditional school. I’m just a stickler about grammar, and spelling. My kids may not know how to add and subtract, but they can sure “string a sentence together!”
So, while I may not be a homeschooling snob, I am a grammar snob. I plead guilty. The sentence: five whacks w/an English book.
Here’s to having NO idea how to insert a smiley face in this comment. However, know that it was written w/tongue firmly planted in cheek. Is there an icon for that?
Cathy
When people make those comments about chemistry or whatever highly academic course, they may be sincerely wanting to know how (they could be secretly considering homeschooling their own children) but feel that chemistry or algebra are truly barriers because they still think in the box they have been conditioned to think in. I would submit to them that we do not have to be the only teachers of our children. Any book we read to them or DVD course we buy is also their teacher (just carefully chosen and monitored by us parents!).
I know that ABeka, Bob Jones, and some of the more well known boxed curriculum offer DVD or satellite courses… and you don’t have to buy their other courses. Thankfully we have so many options available to us, that we can pop that preconceived notion that others have about homeschooling. No, we don’t lock our kids in their room or at the kitchen table all day! We don’t have to educate from only September to May! We HAVE A CHOICE!
Mrs. W,
I don’t know you very well, but I do know that if people were constantly on my back about something, it WOULD BE hard to handle (especially if all I knew were negative, abusive things from my own past that shaped my own negative opinions).
But if you want to home-school, but the pressure makes you feel like rebelling…one thing I like about homeschooling is that just as in all other areas of life, you can make a choice. You do not have to be like the other home-schoolers you have told us about.
You don’t have to be snarky or snobbish to others, or rude, or mean and abusive to your children. You could be that example to those other home-schooling families that you know that there is a different and loving way to do this. Someone needs to break that notion of homeschoolers in your area of the country!!! Interestingly too… I doubt any of the homeschooling mothers reading this blog teach our children the same way or discipline our children exactly the same. We are all different (God likes variety as long as it is in line with His word).
If you choose, you can be yourself and love your children and build wonderful relationships with them. You can break that pre-conceived mold. It doesn’t have to fit inside some box that others have made for you. I agree with you… I would detest it if everyone was pressuring my husband and I to do something that we hadn’t prayed through on (or had a chance to pray through on since people were bugging us non-stop!).
You can bring them up in the nurture of the Lord and cherish every minute you have with them. Really it doesn’t have to be political. It can be a choice you make yourself (not just something you do to rebel against what everyone wants for you)
My other comment is unrelated to the reply, but one thing that made me happy this year (we are going on year 2!!!) was the financial benefits (of course as well as the spiritual, emotional, relational blessings). Supplies we don’t need or have to buy, the name brand blue jeans and shoes, the horribly expensive tuition (for private education), the fund raisers, teachers’ gifts, the expensive curriculum, and any other thing that will drain us financially.
I agree with what you’ve written, Kim M, but part company at the part about teachers’ gifts. Of course, I just may have a conflict of interest since my husband and daughter are public school teachers. Teachers’ gifts should be mandatory…can’t beat those gift cards.
Cathy
PS My tongue is in the same place as it was in the last comment I left. OK, I’ve vamped long enough. Baskets of laundry are calling my name. Yeah, yeah, I hear ya.
Cathy,
Yeah it would make a difference if you ARE the school teacher! (I used to be and loved getting those gift cards too!)
A quick repsonse to Mrs. W.
I use to be a homeschooling snob – no doubt! But God changes people and changes hearts and we can’t forget that.
And it’s way too easy to stereotype based on a small few. I know several missionaries who don’t like to serve other missionaries, but would it be fair for me to generalize the entire population of missionaries and say, “they don’t have hearts to serve and are just really selfish?” No!
I hope that God brings fun, friendly, unjudgemental homeschoolers into your path to love on you like crazy and to show your we’re not all walking around with our noses in the air!
I haven’t read all the comments yet so this may already be covered but some times my reply may be snarky because I never give non home school families children impromtu —— fill in the blank oral quizes.Yet people seem to feel free to quiz my children.
Jamie,
I see now that you already covered the kid quizing.Glad to know I’m not the only homeschooler getting my children quizzed by others.It’s a good thing my children can all spell,type and string a sentence together far better than I.No snarkiness intended.
For the record, I hated taking chemistry and calculus in the junior college! I’m not sure what the benefit of taking calculus is anyway unless you just LOVE math! Chemistry is okay, but physics, ugh!
I’ve been thinking about this entire home schooling vs. private school vs. public school for the last couple of days, and I don’t even have children at the moment (may never have due to my age, unfortunately). I think my husband and I have agreed that we wouldn’t be too keen about putting our children (if we had any) automatically in a public school. We both HATED public school and it only gets worse as the generations go by! Anyway, private school is out since we couldn’t afford that, and then there is home schooling – which I feel very uneasy about. I think I would be confident with it until about the 3rd grade and then after that, yikes!
I’ve read one book called, “Home Schooling, A Patchwork of Days” by Nancy Lande (last summer) which gives a compilation of stories about how a home schooling day looks like for various families. It was very informative and enjoyable. I also learned that home schooling, although challenging and much hard work, these families really enjoyed what they did and devoted much time and energy towards the task. Still, I don’t think that I would be very good at it . . . I’m not against it, just unsure about it . . .
I don’t know how you home schooling mama’s do it! God bless you all for having the patience and endurance (smiles)!
P.S. I’m still hoping that each time I log onto your blog, you will make an announcement about baby #8. I hope that you are doing well. You have been in my thoughts and prayers.
Kelly, WHERE IS THE BABY? The suspense is killing me.
I agree, Steph, I’ve visited here several times today wondering if there’s a baby yet! :~)
Re: “Where is the baby?”
With complete confidence I can tell you it is still taking up the better part of my torso
I’ve been up about 3 nights in a row with regular, painful contractions, only to feel them fade away after a few hours. Don’t be surprised, based on this constant, torturous “It’s time!”–”No it’s not”, if I end up having a baby in the car on the way to the hospital. Every baby has me more confused about real labor….I know, weird, but you know what I mean if you’ve been there.
Trying acupressure tonight
Lady Sophia,
If and when you do have children, I think a lot will change in your confidence level. NONE of us feel adequate to even be mothers; God doesn’t call the adequate and the qualified. (Do you remember the post on “Motherhood, Moses, and the Beauty of Broken Vessels”?)
It’s the very fact that He delights in showing forth His power through weaker vessels that we are able to walk in faith, unequipped as we are, knowing that His strength is made perfect in weakness.
And besides all that, homeschooling itself really isn’t that hard if you can get the parenting thing down
Keep reading, praying, thinking and talking things over with your husband. One day you’ll be amazed you ever questioned doing anything else!
Mrs. Sophia, I just wanted to add that once you have children you’ll be meeting other moms more easily, and that could easily turn into meeting hmschool moms. Then you have the fun of just getting to know them, maybe watching them in a casual way. Maybe you could go help with her littles while she works with the older ones – she’ll love the help and you’ll get free pointers. Homeschooling will start to feel a lot less foreign and more like the customized, organic endeavor that it is for a lot of families. I’m just a newbie myself, but really enjoy the visits with other, more experienced hmschool moms. As far as “why,” I tend to be in your boat – PS is simply out, and private school is just too expensive – but then I think about all those hours away from home, all those hours sitting, sitting, sitting, then all those hours of homework, among so many other things, and it reinforces my inclinations to hmschool.
Cathy,
YES,I was one of those snarky commenters.I figured if the shoe fits wear it and sadly in my case when it comes to spelling ,typing, and grammer I am a train wreck it is fustrating embarassing and sad.My best friend was my high school college prep teacher and I am always relieved and surprised when she doesn’t return my e-mails checked and corrected.
I am proof you can get through public school and a few years of college without very good comunication skills but it realy hurts when you hit the real world.My older children understand this and work hard in these subjects if only they took math as seriously.
p.s.This is also why I love homeschooling we use A beka dvd for subjects I am not confident about teaching.
Kelly & Lori,
Thank you both for your kind and encouraging words.
Kelly: Where can I find that post you mentioned, “Motherhood, Moses, and the Beauty of Broken Vessels?” I don’t think I recall reading that one, or maybe I forgot? I read many blog entries here (smiles).
Mrs. Lady Sofia,
It’s right here, m’lady.
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2008/12/motherhood-moses-and-beauty-of-broken.html
I like that one. And for the detractors, note that it is a *response* to someone *questioning a parent’s ability to teach their children*. I’ve never met a homeschooler who goes around saying like that unprovoked to random people.
My teachers even failed to help me wrap my head around algebra. I hated it. What finally helped me get it was basic life learning: dividing or multiplying recipes (fractions!), dealing with our finances (percentages, missing numbers!), and figuring price per pound. I am sure my kids will go on to greater math than I did. They’re much more mathematically inclined than I. But I’m not worried anyway. If they find they need it, they will learn it. If they don’t need it, what’s the point unless they want to an enjoy it?
But, Lucy, why did you take what I said personally? I didn’t personalize it, yet you got snarky about what I’d written. I guess that I just don’t get the correlation between being sarcastic, and going after me because of my comment about homeschoolers striving for excellence. If you struggle to write cogently, then there are plenty of resources to help you. How were my comments (not directed at anyone personally) so offensive that it allowed you to be snarky? Why is that acceptable just because you didn’t like what I wrote and took it personally? Why isn’t that rude and unloving?
Women should be able to disagree and dialogue without it becoming personal. It shouldn’t evoke anger and tears, and cause us to lash out at each other. As believers, we’re to be characterized by the love that we have for each other.
I’m probably a whole lot older than you (although I married young, my oldest is still 32), and I still need to remember not to take things personally.
Finally, ironically, I read the post, read the article by Baucham, and then commented. Then, I went back and read the comments, and, frankly, I have no idea what you wrote.
Cathy
I was actually trying to joke with you. I REALLY didn’t think the comment was directed at me personaly.I an just notorius for spelling and grammer errors and must have a strang sense of humor as well .I didn’t mean too hurt your feelings.
SEE,the an is ment to be am in my last comment.
Oh, Lucy, no worries. My feelings weren’t hurt in the least.
I’m cool w/you joking w/me…so, no sweat. I was merely responding to why anyone would be snarky in their response to what I wrote in the first place. Sigh…
Now, I’m off to continue watching the Sotomayor hearings, where perfect English is being spoken, but it’s still convoluted. Oh, well, it’s politics as usual.
Cathy
Gee, Kelly…maybe next time you should post on how courtship is scripturally the best way to find a spouse – that would keep some the ire up!
(yes, I’m being snarky! and, no, I don’t know how to add a smiley face, either!)
One thing that I’ve found when people ask how are you going to teach Algebra, Science, Calculus, etc., is explaining there are many options with homeschooling.
One could be a Co-op where you and some other mothers change out classes. We have that in our area now and one homeschool mother who is a science teacher is offering a Biology class and another mother is offering an Algebra I or Algebra II class.
Another option is the DVD series some of the homeschool curriculums are offering. One of my friends actually let her daughter teach herself by reading a book in Physics and taking tests online.
There are more options now than ever before, it’s really encouraging. I think some people who don’t homeschool have never heard of some of these options, so, I think of it as a chance to promote homeschooling. Sometimes a person may want to do it, but, is too intimidated when thinking of teaching upper grades to their children.
I “learned” physics in a public school, and can’t remember a thing about it. I wish I would have been homeschooled where I could have learned it at my own pace, instead of rushing on to the next thing before I understood the first part. I look forward to learning right along side my children, it should be fun…
I do have one question…it seems inconsistent to say that you MUST home school because you must teach your own children…and then go and buy DVD curriculum for SOMEONE ELSE to teach your children via DVD. What’s the difference between a teacher from a Christian school (Abeka, Bob Jones) teaching your kids on a TV, and a Christian school teacher teaching the same curriculum to your kids in a school? I mean, if you are going to use the argument that God COMMANDS the PARENT to teach, why are we buying DVD’s and allowing others to teach our children?
Lol just a question as I hate inconsistency.
Mrs. W – it’s not about teaching them scholastics. It’s about teaching them the word of God. If they are in your home all day, everyday, it’s MUCH easier to do that than if they are farmed out and under someone else’s care for 9 hours a day. So if they are learning via internet, you are still their moral authority and are still able to shephard their heart’s adequately!
Mrs W.–We are even using a state cyber school (oh, the horror! lol) The difference is, my children are under *my* protection and authority, in the same geographical location, and as a homeschooling mom I have the absolute power to accept or reject certain methods of instruction if I feel they are incorrect, biased, or intending to corrupt my children. I have a actually not had a problem with this even with the cyber school.
Sending my children to school, they may have a few wonderful teachers (I did!), but they will be in a geographically different location, out from under my watchful eye, and subject to all sorts of influence, from teachers, curricula, other students, and whatever media or guests the school brings in.
I have not read all these posts, but I have been on both sides of the fence. As a homeschooler, I would never deny that I didnt get ‘snarky’ and sometimes belittling or ignorant comments about choosing to homeschool my children. When I placed my children in public school, as a whole I ddint hear a lot about that decision…..until I was around my old homeschooling friends or at church around the families I used to hang out with. People who public school arent going to naturally hear much about their choice to public school, simply becasue they are not exposed to homeschooling families regularly. But a Christina who has their children in public school probalby will hear just as many ‘snarky’ comments if they dont homeschool because they are still going to chutch a few times a week, and still have the same circle of christian friends. Hope that makes sense….Yes, I agree that an unbelieving public schooler wont hear about not homeschooling, but for a christian family, we may feel persecuted as mcuh as a homeschooler does, because we *are* christians.
I hardly think it’s necessary to snap at a person for asking a genuine question! I’d be very curious as to how home parents teach their kids diverse subjects, and if you snipped at me with that very sarcastic response in the original post, my own would be that your problems are more spiritual than educational.