Comments on: So You Prefer I Use Birth Control?

By: Megan

Megan — Mon, 23 May 2011 21:06:52 +0000

I read the perfect response on another blog somewhere long ago…

Don’t you know what causes that?

Yes. An open heart and the Lord’s blessing.

By: Elaine

Elaine — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 21:57:21 +0000

When people see me with my four children, I often get “My, your hands are full.” I love to respond (with a huge grin), “Full of cuteness!”

By: Word Warrior

Word Warrior — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 02:42:45 +0000

Sonia,

I appreciate your rebuke, and I agree that most are simply curious, although this post was spurned by a pastor and Christian woman in ministry who I would expect to have even a remote concept of the blessing of children and reflect that in their speech (they are required to, according to Scripture, build up the body, and teach that which is Scriptural, being in the ministry.)

However, when you say, “having a lot of kids, no kids, or only a few kids does not make you more or less Godly” you are reading into my post (or maybe you were referring to the comments? if so, forgive me) because I certainly do not feel this way.

By: Sonia

Sonia — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 02:17:15 +0000

I am really surprised at most of these comments. I am the oldest of 15 children and I can tell you that everyone in my family gets lots of questions. Not because people have “heart issues” or are bad people. Most of them are just curious. I usually start a conversation with them and answer their questions. People are not perfect, whether they are christians or not, and often say the wrong thing. I find it interesting that you think it is wrong what they say to you, but instead of thinking of something to say that is positive, you want to return mean remarks back and judgement about their motives.

I have had people make the same exact comments you mentioned to me and I only have 2 children. I don’t think it matters if you have 5 kids or 50, people say things just to make conversation. Yes, some of them are dumb comments. Yes, some of them are hurtful or insulting comments. I have been the victim and perpetrator myself, many, many times. When I had infertility a lot of christians, especially ones with many children, would tell me how selfish I was to only have one child. I consider what fellow believers have to say and actually think about it, and I try to be accountable and have biblical views to back-up my beliefs, other than that, it is between me and God. I realize this was a humorous article (I write humor myself), but having a lot of kids, no kids, or only a few kids does not make you more or less Godly. The number of kids you have (or don’t) does not make you a better, or worse christian. Everyone has to do what they are called to do with obedience and love. That is all.

By: Didn't get as many kids as I had wanted

Didn't get as many kids as I had wanted — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 21:46:25 +0000

Them “Better you than me.”
You “I agree.”

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 21:17:05 +0000

That IS rude, asking when you’ll start having kids. Not their business, or their heartache.

By: Teresa

Teresa — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 20:41:36 +0000

I sympathize with you! It’s always amazing what awkward things people say without realizing it! My husband and I are at the opposite of the problem – we have been “trying” for awhile, but haven’t received any blessings yet. We get asked ALL the time when we are going to start a family. This is quite hurtful when you can’t have children! But I don’t feel it’s their business to know that either! So I usually just smile (if I can) and say that we are still practicing.
It’s always good to keep in mind that some of these people may be trying to be hurtful or to tell you what to do – but many of them just don’t realize how it comes across. More and more I am training myself to simply look at someone and gently say, “That wasn’t very nice.” It’s their decision how to react to that – and it often starts a conversation where I can gently point out how they are coming across.
On another note – (I shall preface by saying I am one of 15 children and LOVE being from a big family – although I think my parents were not the best of parents choosing to have children, but not to be interested in their children.) But- the only problems I have with people choosing a large family are: 1)if they expect the older kids to parent and raise the younger kids – chores are one thing, parenting is another; 2) If they expect the rest of the family to help them pay their bills, clothe their children and do everything FOR them BECAUSE they have such a big family (as one family within my family does); and 3) if they are HAVING multiple children, but not RAISING and TRAINING said children!
Children ARE a blessing and I pray and beg of God to bless us with the number of children that HE has chosen for us – not setting a number (whether small or large) because HE knows best one way or the other!
One last parting shot: I am sickened and saddened by women who HAVE large families who act and think as those they are more spiritual for having large families when really they don’t know anyone else’s story either.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 15:47:32 +0000

Long ago, I don’t know how long… Oh, about six or seven babies ago, I did the cutesy quips. Then about two children ago, I was just offended and did the blank stare.

Now, I’ve come to realize something… Those women, especially women, who have become so crude and callous to the way they were CREATED to be, those women who make comments, cry for them. Do you know why? They will make these comments:

“Better you than me.”
“I couldn’t handle my own.”
“I sure wouldn’t want more.”

And not only would they make them to me, but they would make them in front of their OWN children. Nothing like stating you didn’t like children or motherhood in front of your own children…. Sigh.

We have been incredibly blessed this past month by finding out we are currently expecting our tenth child.

We are so incredibly grateful to have heard this message when we were young. And so I pray, “Lord, let our love for You shine through us. Let the gratefulness of our hearts pour out in front of these women…. Help them to wonder what it is they are missing. Let us show your grace, mercy, compassion, and wisdom to them in our answers, seasoned with salt. Help us to not grow frustrated when they are rude, callous, and sharp. Blunt our edges, make us soft and let them have eyes to see…….

You never know what it is that you say today that will make them stop, think, or pray tomorrow.

Blessings,
~Kelly

By: Word Warrior

Word Warrior — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 00:51:35 +0000

Eric,

You’re kind to stop and say that!

By: Eric

Eric — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 23:55:59 +0000

Of all the things I would like to say after finding your website and your testimony, I will say this. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My wife and I are not alone, we knew we weren’t but hearing you say the things we believe in the face of the opposition that we have seen is well worth saying thank you again. Thank you. We’ll be back. God Bless.