Comments on: Handling Sibling Disputes

By: Linnie

Linnie — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:46:43 +0000

Thank you for this posting. Just this evening I was crying out: Please God I need wisdom! I experience this every time when I’m pregnant (I’m 20 weeks pregnant with #8)- I’m not in control and don’t have the energy or wisdom to know how to handle the disputes and often I wonder if I am the only homes chooling mother of many who has this problem. Thank you for your advice and being transparent and real!
Blessings!

By: Sheila

Sheila — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:46:17 +0000

Great wisdom, Kelly L. When I see unacceptable behavior in one of my children, it’s usually a reflection on (and a wake-up call for) me! I have to repent and go from there. Thanks, WW, for a great, and needed, post!

By: Kelly L

Kelly L — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:18:29 +0000

Nice post. We only have one blessing, but my daughter often comments on the different types of families. In one family type the siblings openly love each other and show non-stop grace. In another, the siblings argue, fight, bicker, and are sometimes just horribly mean. We always come back to the parents as the difference. As a whole, kids only do what they are allowed. I have found myself being irritated with a particular trait in my daughter that isn’t great. I have to remember that the only reason she is doing it is because I have allowed it. I have to correct myself first (again). This is not speaking to a one time thing, or occasional, but a consistant behavior.
To Anita and Leslie, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. It is clear you want His will over your kids. Ask Him to show you a strategy. The Bible says He is able to restore the years the locusts have destroyed. It is not to late, and God is willing to forgive any confessed sin and use your heart that is seeking Him to guide you into a new family norm. Don’t listen to any lie that it is too late, too far gone or too overwhelming. He cannot give up on you, He is too faithful.

By: Charity

Charity — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:31:31 +0000

Perfect post for me today…I think it has been me dealing with the hormones though, not my 3 1/2 or 2 year old. Tough morning…

Sometimes it can be a bit tough to remember that God uses our little blessings to “grow” us.

By: VBACwarrior

VBACwarrior — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:29:09 +0000

Mrs W,
You might try asking Jesus. I know that I “offend” Him often and yet He did “something nice” for me.

By: Anita

Anita — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:15:53 +0000

Just what I needed today as well. Like Leslie Viles, my 4 boys can act as though they hate each other, and I feel as though I’ve “miss the boat” with something,too.

I find myself acting exactly the opposite of how I want them to behave. (aka. VERY bad example.) Being 20 weeks pregnant with #5 doesn’t help me in the hormone department either.

By: Word Warrior

Word Warrior — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 13:21:43 +0000

Mrs. W.,

Several dynamics are at play…it wasn’t a clear “one was wrong and the other innocent”…this was the second or third spat and both attitudes had been off.

Secondly, the talk I had with them was “punishment” enough for my older one who is much more sensitive to that and easily sees her sin when it’s pointed out.

Thirdly, the older one does a lot more serving both by nature and age, so it seemed appropriate to do what I did.

He was not a bit annoyed. Mind you, I didn’t say, “You need to serve your sister” so that it seemed like a punishment. I just gently, with a smile *suggested* it and he did it on his own.

Then lastly, and most importantly,

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

It was “biblical medicine” for the situation. And honestly, the one who did the serving received the most joy, I think.

By: Mrs W

Mrs W — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:54:19 +0000

Mine are so little and you can’t really “reason” with them yet. I like the book “Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends”.

Just a question…how does it affect the child who was wronged in their attitude when although they were wronged they are instructed to “do something nice” for the offender, especially if the offender wasn’t punished? I know that would not have gone down well with me when I was a child, but then again, that might be because my middle sister was the favourite with my parents and everyone knew it. I have heard it works with some children though and maybe it does with yours too, because I am interested in attitudes and heart training, I thought I’d ask about that process.

By: Leslie Viles

Leslie Viles — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:37:20 +0000

Stephanie,

I feel your pain. I am in tears almost every day because my children act like they hate each other. I know I have missed the boat on something, but I do not know how to fix it. HELP!

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:20:46 +0000

Needful for me today as well! Yesterday almost left me in tears because of the fussing amongst the 4 oldest ones. I’m afraid my example has more to do with it than anything.