» Raising Godly Kids

Raising Godly Kids

Just say the phrase….”godly kids“. What image do you get? Are we raising godly children? Did you know that many Christian circles actually wince at the term “godly” because it seems so…counter-culture? (The thinking is that since we’re supposed to be reaching the culture for Christ, how can we possibly be “godly” and have any effect?)

The culture is irrelevant in influencing the life of a believer. We follow Him; He works it all out for His glory, evangelism included. (But that’s another topic )

The life of a Christian is really simple: Love the Lord, obey His Word. And in order to obey we must know what it says. And as it regards parenting, this excerpt from Proverbs 23 is chocked full of wisdom:

“My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path…. Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old….

The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!

My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways…”

Do you hear what this father is doing? He is training his son in the wisdom of the Lord–he’s raising a godly son.

Do you hear the primary instrument he is using?

“Listen to your father…let your eyes keep to my ways.”

“Watch me. Listen to me. Do as I say. I will lead you.”

Does this remind you of the instructions to talk of the things of God while you “sit, walk, lie and get up?“ If we are following OUR Father’s instructions as parents, we should be “rejoicing and delighting” in our children. And not just because they are ours, but because they will be “wise”. And they will be wise from the godly counsel and constant training of a mother and father. (Yes, some will be unwise–there’s the disclaimer. Still, the Bible gives us normative principles for normative results.) Whose “ways” are they seeing the most? Who is shaping their mind toward God?

Godliness: Deeply concerned with God and the beliefs and practice of religion; having deep reverence for God.

How to raise godly children? Know God. Read of God. Talk of Him. Understand the weight of “let your eyes keep to my ways” and then live up to the charge. “Impress” Him on their hearts. Trust Him for the work of salvation in their hearts. Battle for them. (”Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.”)

Teach them about “the whole armor of God”. Pray with them, over them, for them, and about them. And be with them. For how else will they “let their eyes keep to your ways”?

Remember Philipians 4:8 and make sure they are “thinking on these things” all throughout the day. Raising godly children….it’s our business.

children, family/parenting, motherhood | Word Warrior | November 27, 2009 11:48 pm

13 Comments

By Kathy @ Teaching Good Things, November 28, 2009 @ 8:27 am

Proverbs 3:1-2 tells us:

My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.

Why wouldn’t we want length of days WITH peace for our children? It has to start when they are still young!

vs.21- 23
My son,do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.

Who wouldn’t want LIFE and SECURITY for their children?

All of Proverbs is about the parents responsibility to TEACH IT TO THEIR CHILDREN, and then the children’s responsibility to remember and live out what they are taught!

Godliness is my heart’s desire for my children!
By Melissa, November 28, 2009 @ 10:08 am

We are working through the Proverbs in copywork this year! We are late into the 2nd Chapter. Great writing and learning from this book.
By Heather, November 28, 2009 @ 1:51 pm

As a Jewish boy, Jesus would have been memorizing the Proverbs as well as the Law and other Hebrew writings.

Only recently did I realize that even though the human writer was likely imparting Godly wisdom to his own human son, this is also the heavenly Father’s instruction to His Son–written hundreds of years before Jesus was born–in preparation for the greatest occurrence our world has yet seen.

Even though we read the Proverbs (and the Law) and know we “ought” to heed everything there, even the most obedient of us fall so, so short of perfection. But Jesus learned these things, understood what it means to be truly Godly….and successfully lived what He learned. God as man came to rescue us from bondage to sin, and stood in our place. He is both complete payment of our debt and our substitute as the perfectly obedient human being!

Believers are awakened to our need for His intercession and our thankfulness propels us to obey in the same way He did–even though we do it imperfectly.

I couldn’t help writing a bit about this amazing thought.
http://onmysoapbox2.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/reading-lesson-2-jesus-is-the-fulfillment-of-the-law/

It is awe-inspiring.
By Marcee, November 28, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

This is one of my biggest fears as a mother. I don’t feel that I have enough knowledge to properly raise my two children-even with these scriptures.Sometimes I feel so lost.
By Word Warrior, November 28, 2009 @ 11:03 pm

Marcee,

The good news is that in our weakest moments God is more able than ever to demonstrate His power. It’s the whole irony of the Christian life, no matter our particular calling. If you so wish to read it, I wrote a piece on the beautiful inadequacy of Motherhood, using Moses as an example….

See Motherhood, Moses and the Beauty of Broken Vessels
By Kelly L, November 30, 2009 @ 9:43 pm

Kelly,
This is so great and true! I would also add that we need to encourage our kids to be responsible for their own relationship with God. Asking questions like, what is God telling you about that? What does God say about____? Putting those questions, all the time makes them realize how dependent we ought to be on God alone.

Marcee,
If God trusted you enough to give you your children, then He has given you the ability to raise them as He wants. Seek out, from Him, who you ought to fellowship with who will help train you. He is our best trainer, but He uses others too. Don’t forget He chose YOU to be their mom for a very specific reason, it is not an accident.
By beth, November 30, 2009 @ 10:47 pm

Kelly, I have been reading your blog from afar for awhile and I have never had the nerve to comment before, but I guess I have more of a question than a comment. I have three children, two grown and one thirteen. My husband and I have tried to raise our children in a Christian home but it just seems that there hasn’t been any fruit from that labor. All three of my children were raised in church and accepted Christ at a young age. There seemed to be so much promise at a young age and then there came the teenage years. I can see my thirteen-year-old exhibiting some of the same changes that my other children went through, she is pulling away from me, she doesn’t like me asking questions about anything she is doing, very secretive. I know that a lot of this is normal, but I don’t want to repeat the same things I have been through before. By the way, my two older children graduated from a Christian school, my youngest is in a public school. I can’t interest my husband in homeschooling or courtship, or me quitting my job so I don’t really know what to do. I have prayed and prayed and I know God has a timeframe for everything but time is running out for my youngest. PLease give me your opinion.
By Leslie Viles, December 1, 2009 @ 8:08 am

Beth,

I am sorry for your heartache regarding your children. I don’t have the answers for you BUT, a Christian school is not a guarantee. i did just want to say to you that what you described in your 13 year old many be common, but I don’t think it is the normal God intended. People at my church will ask question all the time about their teens: Do you have a problem with this or that and I have to be honest, I don’t. We have required respect AND taught our children (oldest almost 17) that our family is way more important than friends and when we see the balance starting to shift, we correct it immediately by filling his time with family activities and togetherness.

I fill terrible that your husband won’t let you quit working. It is very hard to tell our children to follow God’s word, when the leader of the household will ignore it. (I have this problem on some “smaller” issues and I see the fruit that comes from them). I am sure you have tried, but if you haven’t, try showing your husband scripture that backs up your desire to be a stay-at-home mom, homeschool, and that dating is not biblical. This has worked for me in the past, but not on everything. I will be praying for you and your family.
By Kelly L, December 1, 2009 @ 12:46 pm

Beth,
Since we fight not against flesh and blood, but against spirits and principalities start praying over your daughter’s room. Ask God to show you the things in her life that come with curses. Movies, music, books that glorify rebellion and villanize parental love and control. Also, I found “The Power of a Praying Parent” to be very helpful to me and others. Even if you don’t agree with her 100%, the author gives tons and tons of verses for each behavior problem or heart problem.
I’ll be praying for your family, as well.
By the cottage child, December 1, 2009 @ 1:12 pm

Beth, I don’t presume to know your entire situation, so the only insight I can offer is from my own experience….

First and foremost, pray over this, with gratitude – it’s easy to see the less than perfect aspects of a situation and let it overwhelm you, and you take no action instead of doing what you can.

My own husband was not a believer until after our first daughter was born. He was raised by an at home mom until his jr high years, but I don’t think it ever occurred to him (mostly because we idolized our lifestyle) that I wouldn’t work outside our home after babies were born. Even after he came to Christ, he was not familiar with the Scriptural direction, nor was he thrilled with the idea of a significant lifestyle change. But I quit my job anyway. I didn’t really ask him. That may sound un-Biblical, but I saw that he was a)worried about our lives and our money and b)I could better manage our lives and our money from home, resulting in about the same income and lot better quality of life. I wasn’t looking for an argument, and I mean that earnestly. I was solving the problem, which is one of the reasons he likes me. He didn’t know what to do, and when I brought it up it was like I was reminding him that I thought he wasn’t doing enough for me. So I took the initiative. He didn’t exactly jump up and down when I showed him the initial numbers, but he saw my plan and that it was doable. I’ll tell you too (with his permission, he loves when he gets to say he’s a new creature)there was some significant selfishness on his part. I just ignored it – I didn’t try to correct him, I didn’t argue or pout, I didn’t demean his point of view, I just smiled and kissed him and kept on going with the plan – as hard as I’ve tried, I’m a complete failure at doing the job of the Holy Spirit. My job was/is to love and respect him, care for him, care for our home and our children. So I did, with purpose, and he sort of just stood there for about 3 months with his mouth hanging open while I figured it out. It wasn’t really an item for his consideration. He was busy with his own spiritual directives.

Again, this is just me, but I started with selling my car (again, I didn’t really ask) and buying a cheaper one. No payment, a little emergency fund from that. Next, I sold the guest bedroom furniture – including the linens and drapes, and set up my office on a card table with shelves made out of cardboard boxes and 1×2’s, packnplay in the corner. That netted another nice chunk, covering about 2 weeks salary less usual work expenses. Next, I started hacking away at our household expenses. Another week’s net there, and that was a permanent adjustment.

And then I went to work in my office. I had a following for my product, so it made it somewhat easier. But my point remains the same, and you have a little ace in your back pocket – a 13 year old. She’s old enough to work, and imho should. School will probably take about 4-6 hours of her day, if you’re teaching her, and there are a good two hours minimum for the two of you to start a garden or gardening business, clean houses together, grocery shop or cook for folks who are spread too thin, tutor other children, keep other children, pet sit, errand business, make pretty things to sell on etsy, a million possibilites. If you’re a professional and can practice from home, teach her areas of your business that she can manage if it will facilitate your earning more.

I believe the saying “happy wife, happy life”. I also think I’m responsible for my own happiness and peace of mind in the domestic realm. Your girl needs you, and even though it may not seem that way, your husband may need to see you to take the first step toward what you want to believe you’re serious.

Don’t ask, do. The Bible outlines the specialization of labor, so to speak, for men and women, and I think it’s wrong to ask a husband to micromanage both his work and yours. The (my) lack of initiative is often disguised as a desire to appear as a submitting wife. I also think all the permission asking can be used as an excuse to provoke so the wife can pout about how her husband won’t “let” her do anything (ahem, my original strategy, which did not work).

This is meant to be an encouragement, not a fuss or even a criticism, fwiw. Strictly a recounting of my situation. You’re much clearer on the need than a lot of women are, which is a giant first step. Use that sense of urgency to do what you know will benefit your family, honoring God and your husband. Not complicated, really, it’s not.
By beth, December 1, 2009 @ 11:01 pm

Thank each of you SO much for your input, I did realize that I have been trying to do the work of the Holy Spirit and that has always created negative experiences for me. My husband would refuse to talk to me about issues when I pointed out how I thought things should be done. I really want to honor the Lord and my husband and I felt that anything short of enthusiastic support from my husband meant that I should’t do something. I know the scripture that says we should obey God rather than man but do you think that applies to a husband-wife relationship?? I have always been a proactive parent-meaning I would try to head off problems that I forsee coming but my husband wants until it hits him full force in the face as a full blown problem, I found this out with my other two children. So to try to tell him that something isn’t going right when it isn’t obvious is almost impossible. I feel like what “cottage child” said that things overwhelm you and you don’t do anything–you’re just froze up and you just hope for the best, but I want to do more than that. I felt so encouraged that I had a happier spirit about me all day today!
By Word Warrior, December 1, 2009 @ 11:23 pm

Beth,

I have just been able to sit down and really read and think through your comment (and the others)…

I also feel for you and hope that you will be encouraged and strengthened through this difficult situation.

The first thing I think of is simply doing everything you can to “tie the heart strings” with your daughter and encouraging your husband to as well. I agree with Leslie that “normal” isn’t necessarily what God intended, and I really believe He intended a warm relationship between parents and children (and siblings) where honor and respect abound.

That said, it can be much more challenging when she has a strong peer group. But if you’re aware of the need for relationship, I’m sure you can find lots of ways to foster affection and joy in that pursuit.

And I really agree with Cottage Child here:

“I think it’s wrong to ask a husband to micromanage both his work and yours.”

When Proverbs 31 speaks of the heart of a husband “safely trusting in her” I think of this application.

And as CC hinted, I’ve believe it could be very effective to show your husband on paper the potential earnings/savings of coming home vs. working outside. There is a lot of money to be saved by the switch, and a lot more potential with the extra time and energy at home, even without any extra earning.

Some may disagree with me, but I whole-heartedly accept the notion of appealing and suggesting things as a wife. If he is not irritated by it, I would consider giving him literature on the topics of homeschooling and courtship. Both mine and my husband’s hearts were turned mostly by things we had read and heard.

I pray the Lord leads and guides you…so glad to hear of your “happier spirit” too!
By Kim M, December 2, 2009 @ 2:36 pm

This is my deepest desire for my children as well… to raise godly kids.