I recently heard a woman (whose children are grown) lament that she wishes she could do things over with her children. Sometimes I have those laments at the end of the day, wishing I could take back words or tones, wishing I had spent more time doing eternal things and less time stressing over the temporal.
Motherhood is hard. And I don’t want to look back in 20 years wishing to do it all over.
Sometimes I think I’m not a very good mother. The lies are whispered, comparisons made, and I can start to sink in a mire of self-pity.
But a new day dawns and not being one given to despair, I shake my fist at the enemy of my soul and remember “greater is He that is in me.”
Then I regroup and refocus. I remember to keep the main thing the main thing.
Do you need a few mother reminders?
1. Take time to deal with strife in the home, refusing the urge to just “make it stop”. Use Scripture to address harsh words and selfish attitudes. A few of my favorite:
- “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones.”
- “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
- “Be kind one to another, with brotherly love, in honor, preferring one another.”
2. Avoid distractions that hinder child training. If necessary, let the phone ring. Set strict parameters around your computer time. Say “no” to excessive outside activities. Be present, body and mind.
3. Taking a walk on a hard day will do wonders to clear your mind and help you gain needed perspective.
4. Put some space between incidents and your response to it. Use opportunities of failure to teach repentance and humility. Much worse than blowing it is the refusal to admit it and ask forgiveness.
5. Assess whether you have emphasized team work in the home, with everyone doing his share. If not, cheerfully reincorporate that into your daily training. It will make a huge difference in how smoothly things run.
Life, learning, joy and growth. Those are the things we want to characterize our homes. Yes, we fall down. But warriors get back up again.