Western thought isn’t meant to be diametrically opposed here to “Eastern thought”. It’s ridiculous to assume I am esteeming the practices of pagan religions.

Western thought contains many humanistic influences of the Greeks, particularly as it pertains to the ideas of love and marriage.

By “brainwashing of Western thought”, I’m referring to an erosion of the idea that love is a commitment, replaced with the idea that love is a feeling.

Jennifer, you should see beyond Bindy’s jump to this absurd conclusion.

Western thought? What is better? Eastern thought? Muslim, Hindu, Buddist thought? Hopefully you do not hold the absolute control a Muslim father has over his daughters as an ideal, or esteem the Hindu traditions of marriage. These marriages may “hold together” for life, but they are certainly not the Christian ideal. We have to have an ideal higher than just staying together. I have known many arranged marriages because of work overseas, and I have learned not to confuse a long marriage with a happy or holy marriage.

The problem with dating is not that you might “give part of your heart away” to someone you might not marry. The problem with dating is that you are acting like a married couple with someone you aren’t married to. It’s called fornication.

Your future spouse, if there is one, does not have any claim on you before you get betrothed, nor do you have any claim on them. If that were the case then someone who marries, their spouse dies, and then they remarry is guilty of being untrue to the second spouse. That idea is ridiculous and un-biblical.

The problem with dating, as you point out, is that it creates a bad habit of fornicating and then breaking up.

But in a world of uncertainty it is unreasonable for anyone to expect they will be able to reach the state of matrimony without ever committing their heart to someone who did not requite their desire. We all get our hearts broken, and it is to a certain extent part of the path.

Stick to the good arguments, and please dispense with the bad ones.

“By the way, much of the courtship process (which gets blamed for an “arranged marriage flavor” is heavily built on the presupposition that the marriage is divinely lead and God uses the parents to help guide the children in that leading, as Scripture makes clear about the parenting relationship. God wills it, parents oversee and guide, and children can rest in that guidance ultimately coming from the Lord”

That’s awesome. The overlying fault I’ve seen, though, with patriarchy (no, not your type) is that the father or even BOTH parents assume too much of God’s job and mistakenly if sincerely believe it’s all ordained by Him. I don’t believe all courtship’s like that, but some are.

Thanks for your patience with me I’m sorry I offended you and was not referring to you at all in the comment that offended. If you don’t wish to publish my second-to-last comment that’s fine, but please know that I know of what I speak. I don’t claim to know about every patriarchal family, but I’ve seen the doctrine and the practice as well as the claims of many. Believe me when I say that I swim deeply in waters before I declare them muddied or clear; this is why I like your own blog, because I’ve tested the waters for lengthened time now.

Another thought on arranged marriage (which simply fascinates me because I actually think it comes closer to what God intended than our dating system does)…

Genesis 24
AND
Adam and Eve had an arranged marriage

There are many in Scripture and not only that, but arranged marriages have been the norm throughout history in most cultures. We naturally bristle–I did to and still do to some degree, but here’s an example of how we get one thing in our minds and refuse to consider how right or wrong our thinking is. Arranged marriages not for me? Maybe. But an abomination to “God’s design”? Careful.

By the way, much of the courtship process (which gets blamed for an “arranged marriage flavor” is heavily built on the presupposition that the marriage is divinely lead and God uses the parents to help guide the children in that leading, as Scripture makes clear about the parenting relationship. God wills it, parents oversee and guide, and children can rest in that guidance ultimately coming from the Lord.