Do-it-Yourself Marriage Counseling
I’ve come across an awesome website called “The Art of Manliness”. I recommend introducing your husband to it. It is not necessarily a Christian site, so there are obviously caveats to the recommendation, but the general mission of the site is noteworthy.
In “DIY Marriage Counseling”, there are some rock-solid ideas for “divorce-proofing” your marriage. Every couple needs to read it.
Banish the Four Horsemen of Divorce
“Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. has been studying marriages in a lab at the University of Washington for 20 years. While many people think that what makes a happy or unhappy marriage is somewhat mysterious and divorce is hard to predict, he can watch a couple interact for only a few hours and then forecast with 91% accuracy whether or not they’ll end up divorcing. He’s not a fortune teller; he simply looks for telltale signs in the way the couple interacts and handles their disagreements. Those that display what he calls the “four horseman of the apocalypse” have a high likelihood for divorce. If a couple can identify and rectify these behaviors, the marriage can often be saved. So let’s take a look at what the four horsemen are.”
Related posts:
marriage | Word Warrior | 
June 21, 2010 12:04 am
Audio available soon!
Thanks, Kelly! I’m sending it on to my two best friends who are engaged to be married.
This is a really good article!
I watched the show Jon & Kate Plus 8 just a few times before they split up, because I hated the way they interacted. In hindsight, they were pretty much nailing all four of these “horsemen”.
My husband and I went to a Marriage Conference based on the Gottman institute. It was put on by a local church. The counsellors who were teaching were Christians and were able to bring in Bible wisdom as well (although I wish there was more!).
They talked about a lot of things (lots of info for 2 days). But my husband seems to remember when they were talking about how our facial expressions say a lot. For example.. whenever I roll my eyes he says “Why are you giving me contempt” because apparently, rolling your eyes and squinching your mouth to the side is a sign of contempt!!! it’s kind of a joke between us but it is true, I shouldn’t do that.
I would definelty recommend taking this course if you are able to! I think there are many counsellors who are trained in this, and they will do workshops.
I just read the sweetest post about your husband but when I tried to comment.It was gone.None the less you sound like a blessed woman.
Sorry, Lucy, it’s back again
Thanks for posting this Kelly. It’s very helful.
Helpful. Obviously a typo, but a rather unfortunate one!