Michelle Duggar: Mother of the Year
The award ceremony for Michelle Duggar alone was worth the drive to Texas last week. I cried again watching this gracious couple demonstrate true humility despite the public recognition the Lord has given them. Hope you enjoy it too! (Click the 4 arrows to enlarge, though this may cause the sound to be delayed.)
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large families, motherhood, video | Word Warrior | 
July 16, 2010 8:40 am
Audio available soon!
Thanks for posting this. God has truly used that woman (and her family) in a profound way. I’m continually amazed that they didn’t cancel their show a long time ago because it was so “against the norm”. But God had different plans, and for that, I’m grateful.
They never needed a show. I wish they had canceled it and lived like a regular family (meaning without a TV show), because I’m honestly beyond tired of hearing either nasty criticism or glowing praise of them.
Hi Jennifer,
I have noticed many comments from you in various posts and just curious about why you continue to follow this blog. You seem to be bitter about many things and I would like to lovingly encourage you to prayerfully consider your words. As Christians, we need to speak encouraging and helpful words that build one another up and not discourage. As for Michelle Duggar, you can’t judge that it would have been better for them to stay “normal” by not having a TV show b/c you are not in God’s seat to judge that.
Many of Kelly’s post seem to ruffle your feathers so maybe this is not a blog you should be following? Kelly speaks wonderful words of biblical truth and maybe if you are so often having a problem with what she says you should bring those thoughts to the Lord and ask him to show you what’s right BIBLICALLY and not just what seems right to you emotionally.
Heather, I follow this blog because I like Kelly’s posts; just because certain aspects of some anti-BC members bother me doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be following this blog. In fact it’s usually other commentators, not the posts themselves, that I disagree with; even so the other common posters here and I have mutual respect for each other.
“As for Michelle Duggar, you can’t judge that it would have been better for them to stay “normal” by not having a TV show b/c you are not in God’s seat to judge that”
You really need to watch how you phrase things, Heather. I’m allowed to have an opinion and disapproving of Michelle Duggar’s spotlight doesn’t mean I’m trying to sit in God’s seat. Irritation is not bitterness, and you and many others seem to have a hard time understanding this. Lastly, disagreeing with anyone here doesn’t mean I need to pray for forgiveness or pray to be “right” by agreeing, though I’m glad you have such amazing confidence in you own ideas and position.
And btw, I said “regular” family, not “normal” family. They’re perfectly normal and I like them; I just don’t like those who put them on a pedestal (and I’m actually referring to people outside this blog). They’re by far not the only family trusting God and raising good kids.
Jennifer,
While I do not know your heart, I can tell you as one who can only see the words you put on the screen that your comments can come across as very harsh and a tad dismissive (especially of those things with which you do not agree.) While you are indeed entitled to free speech and your own thoughts as a human, if we name the name of Christ as Lord we are called to surrender ALL of our own ideas, thoughts, desires, opinions to his lordship. As his ambassadors, we are called to be gentle in our answers (Prov 15:1), not quarrelsome (2 Tim 2:24) with gracious speech (Col 4:6) showing forbearance (Eph 4:2, Col 3:13) with kindness (Eph 4:32) toward all who are of the family of faith. Unfortunately what Heather may be picking up on is the lack of these things which seems to come across in your comments. Personally I often find it is much harder for me to communicate the love, grace, compassion and respect I have for others (even those who oppose me) when the written word is all I have to express those things so I understand the struggle. However, this makes me have to work that much harder to ensure the purity of my motives and the clarity of my thoughts on paper (or the screen) which often takes more time than simply banging out a response on the keyboard.
As for Heather’s point about judging the Duggars, I do not see things quite the same way (at least as I am understanding Heather, my apologies if I am under a misunderstanding). However, I will say that unless we can point to “book, chapter, and verse” so that we can judge things according to the mind of God found in his Word we must be careful to enter our opinions into the public square lest we be guilty of tearing down our brother with slander (4:31) or gossip (1 Tim 5:13) since we are supposed to be building each other up (1 Thess 5:11) with our use of the character qualities I mentioned in the paragraph above. If your concern is the buildup that the Duggars receive from other believers then your issue is with those other believers (and your beef is only valid if you can point to specific sin from the text of scripture) not the Duggars. For their part, the Duggars by all accounts, public and private, go out of their way to point others to Christ and glorify him for all that happens in their lives. This would seem to be the personification of being the light believers are called to be (Matt 5:14) so I am not sure why you think you have a biblical reason to be anything but encouraging to these fellow believers?
What I’m picking up on, Pauper, is prideful patronization from people who make remarks patronizing and correcting while pillowed in “concerned” words. What Bible verse is there for you or anyone to tell me I need to pray because I disagree? It gets tiring and I get harsh. I realize now was probably not the time to mention my feelings about the Duggars, but I’m not going to apologize for my tiring of their publicity. Again, I was not judging the Duggars; what I hate is the constant fuss over them, whether positive or negative; they didn’t ask for it and neither did I. The idea that I’m even coming CLOSE to slandering them or gossiping about them is ludicrous and offensive; do you see me saying nasty things about Michelle? Do you see me questioning her mental health or assuming that she and her family are not really humble? You and Heather’s reactions are just examples of what I meant: people putting them on such a pedestal that any suggestion of disagreement is taken to the extreme.
“If your concern is the buildup that the Duggars receive from other believers then your issue is with those other believers”
Which I already made clear.
“and your beef is only valid if you can point to specific sin from the text of scripture”
If you need a chapter and verse from Scripture saying it’s wrong to put someone on a pedestal, criticize those who disagree or that it’s wrong to disagree that people should be fussed about, I can’t help you.
You haven’t experienced much of my words at all. But if you were wondering why I was so harsh about your comments elsewhere regarding Calvinism, others already explained it: I find that system to be harsh, cruel, unforgiving and VERY dismissive. I mention this because I imagine my comments about that issue and this one are most likely the only ones you’ve seen thus far.
“Again, I was not judging the Duggars; what I hate is the constant fuss over them, whether positive or negative; they didn’t ask for it and neither did I.”
Instant relief would come from not reading or watching anything related to them, including this post. I skip over stuff all the time, most folks do.
Jennifer, you might find this insulting, but it isn’t meant to be, I’m defending you actually (not that you need me to) based on what all of us discuss here – age and maturity in these discussions matter – brains in their early twenties are more heavily influenced by emotion than are older brains. It’s a physical fact. Even the most self-possessed young person is prone to that, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. But as your elder (did I just write that?) my unsolicited advice is just to remember that tone matters, in spite of others behavior. And I would remind others of us that the proclivity of the older brain is the parse the condescending as “teaching”. Tone matters.
Anyone else want me to tell them what to do? Apparently I’m on a roll. Anybody?
On the contrary Cottage Child, I appreciate your words and don’t find them insulting at all. Your advice came at a needed time
I’m sorry if I was too harsh at any given time. Thanks for the tips!
I watched this last night. Cried.
I had voiced the same statements to my daughter this weekend when I watched the “Thank You Michelle” video on Doug’s Blog. Sure she has 19 children and that’s amazing and all, but how many more little lives have been impacted & are here today because of the Duggar’s godly witness?!! Obviously, we’ll never know, but I imagine more than a few!
I love hearing about them – of course we don’t see the full 24/7 of their lives, but you cannot practice your way into faking the face of contentment their family wears – that in my experience can only come from God within. That attitude is so reassuring to so many in a time when drama and conflict and self-created crisis is the new normal. People question their mental health – that I should be so healthy! Sweet family.
I honestly don’t know how Michelle does it: a house that big and kids from one end to the other. It’d be a nightmare for me, so many kids and not always knowing where each of them was. I guess she’s got built-in instincts.
Jennifer,
I think this common sentiment “How do you do it with all those kids” comes from a misunderstanding of family and an over-emphasis on autonomy. One person was never meant to “run a family” and yet mothers of large families constantly get criticized for delegating responsibilities to the other members. Ludicrous. Here again, when a family pro-creates in a natural way it’s not a shock to God. “Oh man, how is she going to get it all done now–I didn’t think about that!”
A family with a healthy understanding and balance of work, play, love, responsibility and coordination functions the way it should and no one member is over-burdened. Granted, in Michell’s case, there must be an extra measure of organization, etc., but speaking as a mother of a large family, things just don’t look like I think most people perceive them.
I heard Beall talk about this…many of the messes of a family are the same, big or small. The counter gets messy whether there’s one or twenty. But more hands dividing the work load actually makes life easier on everyone in this regard. One vacuums, one washes dishes, two works on laundry, one sweeps–done before you know it.
Kelly – those are such important points. A family was created to work together and the Duggars are a great example of that.
Even the laziest kid likes to be included and feel needed in the effort. We moms make it SO much harder on ourselves by imposing silly standards (whoever looks in my linen closet to see how my towels are folded gets what they deserve
). Kids learn by doing, chores get done by doing them, and practice makes better than good – the towels will be folded “Mom’s way” in time. I love the “many hands” explanation you offer. So true.
And Jennifer – I have two ideas for you if you think not knowing what’s going on in a large family is an issue – one is the concept of “mom ears”, the other is “the four year old spy”. Between the two, I know more than I want to most of the time
.
….let me replace “silly standards” with “unrealistic expectations”…I am a big believer in a standard of excellence, just not an imposition of my own uptightness on matters of little consequence. It’s the spirit in towel folding that counts
.
“I have two ideas for you if you think not knowing what’s going on in a large family is an issue – one is the concept of “mom ears”, the other is “the four year old spy”. Between the two, I know more than I want to most of the time”
Well praise God!
Like I said, she must have instincts. Twenty is just SO many, and that house..I think most moms have instincts like dog or cat mothers, with eight or so at a time. Michelle seems to have instincts more like an ant mother with a whole colony to take care of.
What is that saying… “many hands make light work”.. I think that’s it. Anyway, it’s so true!
At this very minute, I’ve got one vacumming, one unloading the dishwasher, one folding laundry, and one wiping down the bathroom. We have a chore hour (which is finishing up, thus, my jumping on here), so what would normally take me HOURS to do alone, is done in one fell-swoop of hard work with the whole family involved.
I think by implementing this into our daily routine, we are teaching the children the importance of pitching in and doing their part in this home (responsibilty), AND, it trains them not to be idle, which is such a major issue in this mind-numbing culture. I can’t imagine taking it all on myself, not because I’m lazy, but because I think it would be a great disservice to my children.
I was a prime example of this. My own sweet mother never made us do any housework when we were growing up, so when I got married, I was completely clueless as to how to cook, clean and do the laundry (ect.). Not to even mention my complete ignorance about how to run it all together in an efficient way. I will not let my children experience that.
Michelle is very lucky to have so many older kids helping. But my issue would be having such a huge house and not knowing where all my little ones were at a time. We’re just built differently, I guess.
Jennifer, I know what you mean. One of the neat little things about daily life in Heaven, when I think about it, is that you can have fun watching and playing with as many little kids as you want, with no concern at all about dangers! Just pure fun, no nervousness!
Yes, that will be nice
she is SUCH a precious woman!
A long time ago, when both the Duggars and the Gosslins were on TLC, my then 7 year old daughter pointed out how the Gosslins say a lot of things about God, but the Duggars really lived God all the time. It was inciteful for a little girl. She has always admired the Duggars (although she asked me to stop wearing one long jean skirt I had becuase she thought I looked like them with my long hair…lol)
My goal is to be more like any family that exudes Christ so much people can only nod a “now I get it” when I talk about Jesus.
ACK!!!! please gloss over my spelling errors with grace!!!!!
Thank you for posting this Kelly. Since we aren’t TV watchers I can’t say much for their show, but I first heard of them when my husband brought a newspaper article he found on the break table at his job when we first married. He came home waving the article clipping saying “You aren’t gonna believe this! These people are letting God plan their family too!”. I was pregnant with our first child and we had never heard of any other family that had chosen to live this way. We were pregnant 3months after we married, so we recieved only ugly comments. The article was (of course) very critical of them (I believe they had only 14children at the time and she was expecting their 15th), but we found it very encouraging to know there were others ‘out there’ following God’s plan for family. We have found their family to be a great encouragment!
Wow. I dont know how I missed this. Thanks for posting this!! Michelle is such an inspiring lady.
What is the criteria for the “Mother of the Year” Award? The woman who has the most children? The woman who inspires the most people? I’m really having a hard time with this whole thing. It seems to fly in the face of all the verses in the NT that talk about desiring a quiet and peacful life, not showing partiality, being rewarded for good done in secret, the last shall be first, the least shall be the greatest, and the smallest is the most important. This is not a slam at the Duggars. Just a bad taste in my mouth concerning a “christian” system that “awards” the best of anything. You can say “Well, it’s all by the grace of God, not anything I’ve done” all you want. But that plaque on your wall speaks louder than your words.
I think you answered your own concerns. The Duggars walk as humbly as I’ve ever seen a family walk–quietly, not seeking honor, not asking for ANY recognition, just obeying the Lord in the mundane. He delighted to “make the least the greatest” and to exalt the lowly…just as promised.
I like the Duggars and have watched thier show and they DO seem sincere in thier Christian walk BUT… I can’t believe they do not seek recognition while making thousands an episode for thier children and themselves to be filmed and played on television each week. They arn’t being followed by paparazzi in the local Costco against thier will, they signed a contract inviting camera men into thier homes to be filmed, accepting money to be watched, looked at and recognized. Perhaps they want to be a witness and that is thier reasoning for the show, I do not know, and if so, what a lucrative ministry! The reason they are the most recognized family, maybe in the world, as Doug Phillips said is because they sign a contract however often and are paid to be televised. I wish them nothing but good things, as I do everyone else I know, but, to say they humbly never seek recognition for themselves or thier children just doesn’t ring true to me.
“What is the criteria for the “Mother of the Year” Award? The woman who has the most children?”
You nailed my concerns, Darcy. I’ve no doubt Michelle deserves the award, but I wasn’t by any means sure of the motives of those who gave it to her; was it because she’s a good mother, or a mother of many? I could think of several mothers who I thought deserved that award with less children.
Darcy and Jennifer,
I would urge you to recognize that your eagerness to find fault with a ministry you don’t like can cause your reasoning to be cloudy. Of course Michelle wasn’t awarded MOY because after searching the world over VF concluded that “she was the best mother”.
They awarded her because she is an icon for all mothers who have made the decision to receive all their children. And those of us who aren’t just looking to find fault had an opposite response to the ceremony. My friend said, “It was like she was receiving the award on behalf of us all”.
Doug summarized it well:
“She embodies the very best of a Christian role model for women. She is a highly intelligent and gracious woman of God and a capable and faithful helpmeet to her husband Jim Bob. As a mother, Michelle is singular. She has modeled for millions a passion for God’s gift of the fruit of the womb and a tenderness and wisdom in raising her 19 children that have been downright inspiring.”
I’m not “eager to find fault” with anybody. I’m just not so enamoured with the whole thing that I can accept awards and TV shows contracts as “humble ministry”. I have nothing against them personally. Matter of fact, I am in awe of Michelle Duggar. She strikes me as a very humble lady. Which is why I don’t understand this whole award thing. Personally, I would felt embarrassed and politely refused the award. A few verses come to mind that are so opposite of what I see while watching that video clip:
AFter telling them that they were doing wrong by honoring the rich, noble, well-known, and nicely dressed in their congregation, James said this: “I you really fulfill the law according to Scripture, ‘you shall love your neighbor as yourself’, you do well, but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.” Jas. 2:8-9
Speaking of the Body of Christ: “And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, that there should be no division in the body…..” 1 Cor. 12:23-25
Matt. 6:1-4 :”Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
I don’t have anything against the Duggars. But I have major problems with a system that awards people for their good deeds. Especially people who, as Paul said “have no need of it”. Their works should speak for themselves. If that is not showing partiality I don’t know what is.
Darcy,
I can respect your interpretation of the thing. But I would also warn to be very careful how we use the Scriptures. For example, James was reprimanding a group of people who were “oppressing the poor”. His admonishment was a direct response to the sin of that.
Same as the “alms before men”. That Scripture is addressing the sinfulness of people who were only obeying the law for recognition. I believe the Duggars never “sought” recognition for an award. And whether or not I even agree with a television contract, I think God has used them in a mighty way. I think it’s very unfair to fault them for receiving an earthly reward.
The passage in Corinthians if referring to how we are to exercise and acknowledge spiritual gifts; it’s not a command against giving someone an award.
What of the employee who receives “employee of the year”? Do we tsk him? “Teacher of the Year”. We all applaud. In light of that, it seems like a biased angle.
Furthermore, consider a very example of humility being honored before men:
“But when you are invited, go and recline at the last place, so that when the one who has invited you comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will have honor in the sight of all who are at the table with you.”
I think we must be very careful to balance our *feelings* with what is right and acceptable before the Lord. Truly, only He knows all hearts and motives. Still, wrong to accept an earthly reward? I don’t see it.
I’m not eager to find fault, but she did seem like an awfully obvious choice. And I’m afraid there is a great deal of fault with the interpretations of those who gave her the award. It’s a beautiful thing; I just wish she’d gotten it from someone else.
Thankyou for showing this – I’m crying – what a beautiful Christian example to us all.
How I would have loved to have gone to the baby conference – such a shame there’s nothing here in Australia like it.
Thanks for sharing
Renata:)
At least you can hear it on CD, Renata
watching this brought me to tears. the Lord has really raised them up to be pillars for Him. they have taken so much critisism along with the support we saw here, but they have never wavered. what a witness!God bless the duggars!
I have so much respect for this family. They have chosen so show the world with grace and humility the blessings of having many children, in a world that looks at children as a burden.
Great family and I adore them, though I have never met them! At the beginning of this year they GAVE their van to my brother-in-law and his family who are missionaries to Mexico (and they had never met him before… he just came looking to buy a large van, they found out he was a missionary, and the rest is history).
And before they GAVE it to him, Mr. Duggar paid more than $200 to have something that had malfunctioned fixed, saying he couldn’t give something broken to a missionary. Now, that is awesome!
Kelly,
Your Blog is so funny girl. Never fails to get totally off topic a few times.
We did watch the Duggars and like them. She is awesome. I know her sweet family must be proud of her and I hate we missed it “live”, I bet it was GREAT!
I had to keep myself from crying too! I feel “spurred on in love and good deeds” after seeing this video. She radiates a gentle and quiet Spirit.
That family is such a lightning rod, often from people who choose to express their disapproval in crude ways, at least from what I’ve seen on the internet. Yay for Mrs. Duggar. No matter what people say about her selfishly pushing all of her childcare and housecleaning chores onto her oldest daughters, she is a great example to us of kind, patient, loving, unselfish motherhood. Of course she’s not perfect, but she has such a sweet spirit with her kids, which convicts me of my need for the same!
Whew, it’s such a relief to read something about it that isn’t crude or offensive.
I do not think the “Mother of the Year” award had to do only with the number of children Michelle has borne. Given the nature of VF and the conference, it seems fairly obvious to me that he “qualifications” for this particular award from this particular ministry with it’s particular viewpoints
were her openness to children in the face of trials and opposition, her management of those many children, her sweet spirit and gentle attitude, etc. Whether you agree with everything the Duggar’s represent or not, this award was given by Vision Forum, and if you know the purpose of that ministry there is nothing odd or hypocritical of it being presented to Michelle.
Thanks Kelley
I do know the purpose of that ministry, thank you Margaret. And no there’s nothing odd about giving her the award; as I said, it was a very obvious choice.
Wasn’t singling you out, Jennifer.
Alrighty,
just sayin’.
Kelly, Thank you for sharing this video. I enjoyed it so much! It is really nice to see Michelle Duggar get this award from people that she knows are all like-minded and love her.