Since it doesn’t look like there’s a baby in my very near future and I’m largely restricted (no pun intended) to the couch these days, I thought I might as well bring up a controversial discussion Maybe it will make me go into labor.
I received this email from my inbox last week and it pierced my heart…
I wanted to write to encourage you to keep speaking on the hard topics–I wish someone had told me.
I went the typical routine–high school–”what are you going do now”–college–then pursuing my “good job” because that’s what you do and besides, you need to be able to take care of yourself.
I get married in my early twenties, we made good money and we spent it well: nice house, new furniture, two new cars, vacations, etc.
When my first baby came along, I was blown away by my love for her. And not once had I thought about (or been told) that given the lifestyle we had acquired, I would be forced to go back to work when she was just a few months old. It floored me.
But surprisingly, no one else seemed to think it odd that I was struggling. It’s what everyone did. Of course we were obligated to find best day care and that would make all the difference, and then I could carry on, guilt-free, fulfilling my duty as a wife who made half the income. But when I handed my tiny baby over into the hands of someone I barely new, I might as well have given her my heart too.
Here’s the one thing I can’t get past: if feminism is so “liberating”, why did I feel so enslaved, without a choice, (emphasis mine) bound to a decision I didn’t want to make? The choice was being a mother who could take care of and nurture this beautiful gift God had given me, or handing her over to a complete stranger and go back to my “liberating job”, because I’m a woman and I can do what I want to do.
What kind of choice is that? “You can have it all?” No you can’t. And it’s cruel to even suggest it.
I know not all women will feel this way, and from my experience, it’s because the whole movement itself was intended to callous a mother’s heart toward her children and family so she would be more aggressive in the man’s world. They knew unless she was brainwashed to think that motherhood was just a side job and anyone else could do as good as she could, women would never “roar and conquer” in the man’s world.
And I’ll go ahead and add that I think the whole idea was Satan’s in the first place…what a clever way to destroy families than to get Mom out of the home?
But some of us kept our tender love in tact and have lived to regret that not one woman cared enough to tell me that the pursuit of motherhood was worthy of my entire devotion.”