Seasons, Storms and Dealing with Depression

“Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

Praise God, storms do end! Storms that wreck your physical world, and storms that wreck your emotional one.

Storms are a hard, necessary part of life. I know many of you must be going through storms of your own. Have you found your Father there?

Over the last few months, I’ve been in a place no other human could touch. How can a place such as that be so painful and yet so glorious all at once?

When we are there, we are compelled to look up, to cry out to the only One who “can be touched with the feeling of our infirmities.”

Suffering from depression brought another unexpected blessing. As my husband tried so desperately to help me, he became more like Christ, more like the picture our marriages are supposed to be, and “in my weakness he was strong”. He prayed over me, with me and for me; he encouraged me to lower my expectations, he helped me find refreshment, and most importantly, he waited patiently and he did not trivialize my very real feelings.

I’ve come to learn something during this struggle that I hope will be a huge blessing to you all. When I spoke last month in IL at the Reformation Ladies’ Tea, the one resounding “thank you” was for “being real” and transparent.

I think transparency is one of the greatest needs among us in this difficult/joyous season of motherhood, battling an anti-family culture on behalf of our husbands and children, often with very little support from family and friends.

Actually, I think the Lord prompted me to write When Motherhood Feels Too Hard as a forerunner to the work He was preparing me to do here–the work of simply coming alongside other women, all of us in this journey together, to say “be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.” To say, when no one else is saying it, “it’s OK for you to cry, to be tired, to be stressed out, to feel inadequate and even ill-equipped. Welcome to the ranks of the likes of Moses and Jeremiah!”

We don’t have to have it all together, and we especially don’t have to look like we do. Imagine…if we did, why would need a Savior to walk with us each step?

But that’s hard, isn’t it? Because we are pressured on every side, from neighbors maybe, or even family members, who have, in so many words expressed their opinion that our choices will doom our children. We even pressure ourselves, comparing our abilities with others, constantly placing too-high expectations on our frailty.

We will have seasons. Some where we are stronger than others. But accept the ebb and flow and push through the hard parts.

All God has asked of us is SO SIMPLE: “Come unto Me…abide in me.” Nothing good was ever easy. This journey included. My heart is filled with a longing to encourage you and “hug” you with these words I write, and tell you that you ARE doing a mighty thing in the eyes of Him who has called you…and HE IS FAITHFUL.

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70 Responses to “Seasons, Storms and Dealing with Depression”

  1. Cathy says:

    As someone who struggles w/panic attacks, and likely may forever (after all, when I am reduced to rubble, it forces me to have a total dependency on God to calm me), I Corinthians 10:13 resonates w/me like no other right now. (It may be that at another time in my life, another passage may be the one that helps me through the night.) For me, the most prominent part of I Corinthians 10:13, “…but God is faithful…” is the phrase that calms my soul and allows me see through the fog of panic and irrationality. I’m thankful that the storm in your life has subsided, and am praising the Lord, along w/you, for the lessons learned, and the chipping away that makes us look more like Him.

  2. Ponder Woman says:

    I am SO glad that you are coming out on the other side of the storm more secure in love than ever before. What an amazing experience it must have been to be so well loved by your husband that it drew you even more to God.

    You definitely ‘hugged’ me with your words. I’ve really been missing that!

  3. Kelly, I’m so thankful for this testimony of God’s faithfulness as well as your transparency. I do feel sufficiently hugged, dear sister. I’ve thought of you each time I saw your last post on my google reader. Praise the Lord for His mercies.

  4. Joyce from Marianna, Fl says:

    Kelly, my dear little sweetheart, I am so thankful that you are doing better. Also, so thankful for that dear husband. Again, I would like to tell you that I would love to be your neighbor and get to love those dear children. He kept your safe.

    • Word Warrior says:

      Oh Joyce, you have no idea how much I would love for you to be my neighbor 😉 You have blessed me SO much from afar…more than you’ll ever know! Thank you for being one of those very rare, true Titus 2 women.

  5. Heather says:

    I’m so glad you are writing again! Your blog really is an encouragement and I’m always happy to see a new post. I’m glad you are doing better and will continue to pray for you in days ahead. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t pick up where you left off. 😉

  6. Laura says:

    I understand how transparency can be so much more refreshing and effective than facades. I spoke recently at a church women’s group and my dear husband challenged me to be real and speak from my own struggles. Afterwards, another wife came and we talked for over an hour about her struggles and her pressures and how to cope and on and on. I really felt like the message I gave resonated with other ladies and was soooo much more effective than if I had given a neat little 3 point sermonette and a self-help tip…not only that but other ladies were much more willing and able to share from their own experience and struggles…

  7. Leslie from VA says:

    Oh Kelly….((hug))…..I am so glad you are back.

    Your post gently assures me that HE, too, will carry me through the storm. Thank you.

  8. Sarah says:

    Your words are always a comfort and encouragement to me. Thank you for being transparent and honest!! I feel I am failing as a mother lately, and need to refocus. Your post is helping me do that.

    I am sorry you have been going through depression, and am so glad you have such a Christ-like man to lean on. God bless!

  9. ~gail says:

    I just want to give YOU a hug, Kelly. It was so good to meet you in IL. I have been weeping with you and praying for you and your family as you have allowed us to walk beside you during this storm. But I know that you would not choose to lose the intimacy you have gained with our Savior, during this trial. May He continue to uphold and lead you as you influence other mother’s in their calling and leading little ones to Himself unto the next generation. May your voice resonate unto the generations that our work is not in vain. Our children are not doomed– but blessed by the choices we make– keeping them separate from the world, choosing to stay home with them, homeschooling. I count it a privilege to walk together with you on this journey. HE is our ROCK immovable! ~♥

  10. Kacie says:

    Praying some more! Jesus loves you so much!

  11. Laurel says:

    I’m so thankful that you are rejoicing in the Lord and encouraging others through your struggles! Earlier this year both my husband and I experienced physical problems that we felt completely unable to handle. The fact that we were both struggling made it that much harder! Through it all we learned to trust God more and realize (again and again) that He is in complete control of our lives. My husband showed me over and over what it means to love as Christ loves the Church. I am a blessed woman!

  12. Transparency is also so important because Satan has a sneaky way of convincing us that our troubles are insurmountable or embarrassing. However, when we share with those around us it is amazing the support and encouragement that comes through to carry you along.

    This can be a struggle for me because my stupid pride gets in the way. Something inside me says, “I don’t care what people think right now but I don’t want people to remember this trail I experienced a year from now.” Foolish! The Lord resists the proud and gives His grace to the humble. You, dear Kelly, are experiencing His grace over and over again.

  13. Christine L says:

    As much as I like transparency (cause I’m really bad at hiding my emotions), I’ve found that there are not too many around me who appreciate being told the truth. I HATE that question, “I don’t know how you do it?” If they would let me actually answer the question and listen to me, I could tell them and then they might see there’s a testimony in there (military wife, homeschooler, seven children, yada). There’s also that little bit of “advice” that says that “what you say affects who you are. So if you don’t speak that you’re upset, then you won’t be.” I so wish I was there when Jesus flipped his lid in the temple. Then I could point at him and say “SEE? He did it too and I’m supposed to be JUST LIKE HIM.”

    I do feel like my life itself IS my testimony. I’m not crazy or special or anointed. I’m a child of God who has the strength of our Lord at any time that I call for it. I’m imperfect and needy and whiny. But I’m not stupid. I would NEVER be able to do this thing called living if I did not acknowledge who gives me the will to get up every morning. Being happy and finding joy are too different things. I’d rather be real with sadness mixed with the joy of the Lord (on the bad days) than fake and happy (on the good days). THAT would drive me crazy.

    • Word Warrior says:

      Christine,

      “I so wish I was there when Jesus flipped his lid in the temple.” LOL–that cracked me up. How true!

      You made great points. I, too, feel almost insulted by the comments I get like, “You must have been given a special gift”, or, “You must have enormous patience” (which is THE farthest thing from the truth). Comments like these, to me, imply that “it’s easy”, when in fact, it’s not. I’m no more equipped that any other human, as you said, that has to rely daily on God’s strength. But that’s the point–that’s what he wants. If I were humanly extraordinary, there would be no glory for God. We don’t think rightly.

      • Cathy says:

        Christine L and Kelly,

        In the past, when people have told me that I must have enormous patience (PLEASE, ask my children on that piece of fiction), or that they could never do have as many kids as we do/did (ten, mostly raised), I didn’t take it as an insult, or think that the assumption was that it is easy. Instead, sometimes, people don’t know what to say, and/or they really don’t think that they could do it, or they just admire what you’re doing. Perhaps they’re young in the faith, and they haven’t seen that God equips you for the tasks at hand. How often, I have said, “I can’t do this!” Most times, though, it was because, if truth be told, I didn’t WANT to do it. So, I have to change my thinking and do a 180. I just told one of my daughters a couple of days ago that I’ve gotten in the habit of saying, “I hate” a lot, as in “I hate to cook (and 35 years of doing it, there may be a shred of truth there :/),” but I am trying to revise those kinds of statements w/something that thanks the Lord, instead. I think that when those opportunities arise, rather than be “almost insulted” when people comment, use it as an occasion to bring glory to our great God, and lift Him up. I am not implying that isn’t what’s happening, but being older than you both (I know how OLD Kelly is–:), and I assume that Christine L is younger than me, as well), I am learning that to allow what people say to annoy me, is something that I must fight, and rely on God’s Spirit to work in others. You play how you practice. And, even if people do mean to be critical or hurtful, big deal. I always think that if people REALLY knew me (if they could see inside my heart, and hear my thoughts), NO ONE would like me. So, I rejoice, because I actually have friends who tolerate my bologna.

        I’ll leave you w/something that one of our pastors used in a sermon that impacted me. He said that often, we do the opposite of this verse:

        “We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” I Thes 5:14

        It isn’t our job to “flip our lid.” But, it IS our job to be kind, understanding, and realize that most times, people are just in awe of big families. It’s nothing personal.

  14. Janet says:

    Thank you for sharing this wisdom with other ladies who need it…. myself included!
    It is good to hear that we don’t have to have it “all together” or even pretend to. As a christian mother of 10 children (with another on the way) I am tempted to pretend like we don’t struggle… financially, marital, with our children, etc. “What would people think?”
    I guess I feel like because we do have 10+ children, homeschool, etc that I am supposed to have it all together, so I can minister to others. But you know what? We DON’T have it all together… at all!
    This has been a rough season for me…. no church family, no spiritual direction for our family, etc. Satan really has tried to take the upper hand and cause confusion, doubt, etc.
    Praise the Lord for His wisdom in places like your blog.. and others’ that I am reading lately.
    It reminds me to trust Him in my “storm” (which couldn’t even compare to what you’ve gone through) and know that this is only for a season. And one day, I WILL be able to minister to others, like they’ve done for me.

    Hugs,
    Janet… mamachildress

  15. Jenny says:

    You have no idea how much I needed to hear this now. I had baby #7 nine weeks ago, and I am so tired, and sad, and angry. I don’t want to tell anyone, because I’m the momma, and others (my family, beautiful women from church, people in my community) have much more “real” needs than mine, and I cannot let them down. But I just want to sleep, and cry. So as I cook, and clean, and serve, I cry out to Him, for I was here once before, and I know He is faithful, and will lead me through this. But I will also pray for someone to be transparent to, for someone that will hug my tired body, as He hugs my tired soul.

    • Word Warrior says:

      Jenny,

      Take your time. Remember it will feel differently soon. Walk plenty, try to sleep plenty, get as much sunshine as is possible and be sure you’re taking a good supplement with plenty of vitamin B. Also, omega-3 is good for emotional support. Go light on yourself, use paper plates, plan simple meals and find enjoyment in the little things, if possible.

    • Mrs. Santos says:

      Praying for you Jenny. God BLESS you.

  16. LMC says:

    I’m so glad to see your post! I had gotten worried about you after your last one. My personal favorite scripture has been Job, “And God spoke to Job out of the whirlwind.” It seems incredibly applicable here.

    Pax et bonum,
    LMC

  17. tori says:

    I’m so glad you’re writing again. Even more glad to know the storm is moving along.

  18. Lori says:

    Dear Kelly,

    I’ve been checking in as your posts encourage me soooo much. Keeping you and your’s in prayer as your name comes to my mind during odd hours of the night when my youngest wakes me up. That’s my prayer cue! lol Blessings to you for your words of wisdom, healing, and rest.

  19. Kristen says:

    Glad to see this post, Kelly. I’m glad you’re feeling better. You wrote about “looking up” and that’s one thing God has been speaking to me about lately. We have to always look up. If we are looking down, all we see is our circumstances, but when we can force our head up, we see God.

  20. Mrs. Santos says:

    Thank you. Going through a storm right now. Learning what worship is all about. So glad to read your post. Thanks for the virtual hug.

  21. LuAnne says:

    I’m so glad to hear that you’re coming through the storm…I was just today thinking about a song I heard with the lyrics “what if Your blessings come through raindrops?” It seems harsh – to think that He would allow the hurt and the hard – but then, if the “hard” brings us home to Him, why would He NOT allow it? This — even this — is God’s love.

    ~Peace,

    LuAnne

  22. Melissa says:

    So glad to hear from you today, Kelly! I’ve been praying for you.

    “How can a place such as that be so painful and yet so glorious all at once?” I can identify with this statement! For me, the painful place was postpartum depression once. Another time, it was the stillbirth of a child. I wouldn’t trade those painful experiences for anything, because it was there that my Father met me so faithfully. I didn’t really understand that He was the “God of all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) until I truly experienced His comfort in the midst of deep pain. Thanks for sharing your heart here. You’ll continue to be in my prayers.

  23. 6 arrows says:

    I’m praising God for the healing He has brought you! The Lord recently lifted me out of a slump that had crept up on me, and, looking back at it now, it lasted quite a bit longer than I think I would have expected. But praise God for His words “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”. Those words really come alive when God leads us out of the valleys and we see that He really was with us all the way through.

  24. Laura says:

    I was wondering if perhaps the reason we women, especially us Christian women, feel the pressure to have it all together(or look like it), is because we misunderstand what it is to have fruit. In our minds, if we love Christ and want to obey Him, we know that our lives should reflect it…but we go about it the wrong way–we end up trying to paste the fruit on the outside of ourselves instead of truly abiding in Him and having the fruit develop in season. Why do we do this?? Pride. We don’t want others to see how selfish, lazy, or complaining we really are, so we try and paste a little perfection on the outside where everyone sees us. We don’t want others to witness the hypocrisy of our lives, so we keep that part kind of hidden, because it would be uncomfortable if someone corrected our hypocrisy and we actually had to live it! We want to be thought of as holy, righteous, or godly, in our minds meaning a little better than others, so we don’t have to get to the root of our sin and deal with it and change. We’d rather paste the counterfeit on the outside, so we can continue to stay sinful and festering on the inside, because repentance is hard and we don’t really want to go that far!

  25. Kathleen says:

    I would love to re-post this on our homeschool group website. Would that be possible?

  26. Diane says:

    Love this post… especially this part:
    “We don’t have to have it all together, and we especially don’t have to look like we do. Imagine…if we did, why would need a Savior to walk with us each step?”

    Love you too. hon:) I was fantasizing about just hopping in my car and driving the bazillion miles to the tea, just so I could meet you and Stacey and Karen R. for reeel! Of course I couldn’t but the thought lifted my spirits for the afternoon, hehehe. Consider yourself ((hugged)) dear friend.

  27. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you for your transparency! I think we all have gone/are going/or will go through such a time.

    Your story reminds me of what happened to me. Short version – our family was in a terrible accident while on our way too TN for a family vacation and our 15-passenger van rolled three times and landed on the side of the interstate. Some members of the family were seriously injured, including my husband, who broke his back, a son who was air-lifted to a larger hospital, etc. Miraculously, we are all fine today! Also, I was actually pregnant at the time of the accident, but didn’t know it! Anyway, in the weeks and months after the accident, I had to take care of the physical and emotional needs of my family. There were a lot of medical needs as broken bones and stitches healed . . . and a lot of emotional needs. I kept being strong for everyone. Then, after my baby was born (#10) I just fell apart. I struggled with depression for several months and cried over the least little thing. I think the medical world calls such a thing “post-traumatic stress disorder.” I’m not into all these “disorders”, but I do think it is somewhat true. We can only be strong for soo long, and then all those stuffed down emotions catch up to us.

    You have gone through so very much with the tornado and destruction of your home and upheaval in your life and then building a new house — and all of that took a huge toll on your family!!!! I can’t even begin to imagine!!!! So, it is really no surprise that after being STRONG for your family you would finally Crash. But, as you said — God is the lifter of our heads! Praise His Name!

    With love and admiration,
    Elizabeth

    • Word Warrior says:

      Elizabeth,

      Wow, what a story. Yes, PST is a very real thing, as I learned 😉 And I think it’s SO good for us to share our stories, to know we’re not alone, to know it will get better and that sometimes we have to walk through these hard places. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

  28. Dianne says:

    Totally off topic…I was looking at your profile picture and you looked different and I suddenly realized you’d lost a substantial amount of weight. And no wonder, with everything you’ve gone through! But I just wanted to encourage you…EAT, woman! You need the nourishment and you’re getting scrawny. ;D

  29. Angela says:

    Hi Kelly, I just wanted to let you know how very very very glad I am to see you posting again. I appreciate so much what you have to say and your groundedness (sp.? is this even a word? :)) in Scripture. I’m a fairly isolated Mom with regards to other conservative Christian Moms, and every word I get to read on here is a drop of fresh water for my soul! 🙂

    I’ve just been diagnosed with an autoimmune thyroid disorder which contributes greatly to infertility. As a Mom of one that hopes very much for more children, this is heartbreaking for me, but I believe God will help me beat this. I’m not part of a church family that really promotes large families, so I can’t help feeling like others don’t understand. Thank you so much for being a virtual-world Titus woman for me! 🙂

    • Word Warrior says:

      Angela,

      Thank you so much. I must ask, were you diagnosed with Hashimoto’s? I have Hashimoto’s. In fact, my Dr. called when I was expecting my second baby and said, “I don’t know how you got pregnant”. But, with medication, infertility doesn’t seem to be an issue 😉 So praying that it won’t be with you either!

      • Angela says:

        Wow, yes! That’s exactly what I’ve been diagnosed with. We’re trying some dietary changes and maybe plant sterols first in an effort to avoid medication and heal the condition, but I am accepting that I may need medication anyway. That’s so encouraging to hear that you’ve had many healthy pregnancies with this! And once again, I come away from this blog feeling better. 🙂 Are you still on medications?

        • Word Warrior says:

          Yes, I’ve been on medication for hypothyroidism since I was 17. My thyroid is virtually non-functioning, and to my knowledge, there isn’t much I can do except take the hormone replacement. I know there is a natural one–Armor, maybe? but I’ve never tried it. Maybe you will be able to find an alternative…I’d love to hear if you do!

  30. Charmaine Balmer says:

    Thank you.

  31. Nanci says:

    Kelly- I am so glad you are doing better.
    I can relate to everything you said. I’ve suffered from anxiety/depression my whole life. What was even harder for me is when I’d read on a blog or hear someone say “anxiety/depression is a sin” and “if you would only pray/read your bible enough it would go away” which would only add to the burden, because no matter how much/how hard I prayed, it would not go away. Some people are biologically more prone to it due to family history. My 13 yo ds with Asperger’s suffers from depression, too.

    It was the Lord Jesus who brought me through, too, by showing me to use St. John’s Wort and 5 HTP (an amino acid precursor to Serotonin) plus daily exercise to boost my serotonin levels is what finally helped me feel normal. And of course to never stop praying.

    I am so touched to hear about your husband….my husband is not a believer (yet), so that added even more to my trials, as he can not respond in a Christlike way. What a blessing for you and that you can/do minister to other moms.

    • Word Warrior says:

      Nanci,

      Thank you! I just read about HTP yesterday, not real familiar with it, and I’m going to get some from Vitacost. Good to hear that it has helped you. Yes, serotonin. It’s often all in the serotonin! When life is “good”, you’re all healthy, your physical circumstances are pleasant and you STILL feel like it’s a burden to get through the day, something isn’t right. I’m thankful for all I’m learning.

      • Nanci says:

        Julia Ross wrote a book called The Mood Cure, which I found so helpful because she gives dosing guidelines for the supplements, plus helpful questionnaires that help you decide which supplements will work best for you.

        Praying it will help you!

        The nice thing (that she says in her book, and which I found to be true) is that when you take the 5HTP, if it’s going to work for you (and once you find your optimal dose) you will feel it work within 15 minutes! It’s incredible and I wouldn’t have believed it unless I experienced it for myself.

  32. Kelley says:

    Kelly, All I can say is “Thank you Lord for holding you and lifting you!” It is good to have you back! A little of my own transparency…: I didn’t realize how much I relied on your encouraging words until you took time away. I am a growing Christian and about to embark on my first year of homeschooling with my two little ones (5 and 3). It has been your blog, along with the comments of your blog followers, that have encouraged me and given me strength. So when you were away I, at first, felt lost “I’ll just sit still until she returns,” I would tell myself.

    For a little while I would check for a post from you daily, then just every other day, then weekly and finally…I paused and prayed. The Lord gently nudged me and reminded me that occasionally our walk toward him can feel like a lonely narrow path, but in those times, we must walk on. So in the absence of your posts, I finally walked; I signed up for a Christian home school co-op, found the curriculum that I want to use, kept my heart strong against the “you should really send your kids to school for their sake” comment from a dear friend.

    The Lord gave me your words in the beginning of my mental battle of “to school or to unschool?” And from your encouraging words the Lord worked on me and my confidence to stand firm because HE has my back.

    Thank the Lord for you! I am happy to have you (virtually) on the path with me again…and emboldened to know that we have Him always with us…as long as we seek him first.

    ~Hugs!~

  33. Your Friend Flicka says:

    My Dear Kelly…depression is difficult to say the least! I have lived many a year and have had bouts of depression and some times years, to begin with. Almost every time, not always, God brings to my mind that I have not taken time to feel, look and act feminine.
    This almost always happens. God created us male and female and the modern age doesn’t give much room for femininity. They give a lot of room for sexy but not the good old fashioned femininity women use to experience. Males were allowed to be masculine, not brutish, but male. Women were allowed those courtesies that gave females definition.

    We have many roles in life. We are wives, Moms, Aunts, homemakers, teachers, and much more. But…we just are not allowed those sweet things and we don’t even recognize that we need them to feel life is exciting and the female role is amazingly sweet.

    So, whenever you feel depressed ask if it is anger and what are you angry about? I do this. Each person needs to do this. I think you will find that there hasn’t been enough of the girl/female/feminine in life.

    Whenever I get to feeling this way…and I do a lot lately because I have been working much too hard in my home and outside. I am a widow, as you know, and my family helps me but they are a large family and must do many things to keep their family going too. So I feel heavy duty about too many things. That is when I put on my ruffly, long, girly skirt and the pretty blouse and some gypsy-like earrings and do my hair and a little make-up and feel quite the lady/girl/female, God intended me to be.
    Oh and a little perfume. I am known for my homemade perfumes as they are unusual. Many like them too.

    God wants women to wear women’s clothing because He made us to relish feeling like women and being treated like women. It is the differences in male/female that makes life so exciting. Kelly, I may be old but I still have young men to treat me like a lady and give me many smiles. That don’t hurt none. Hugs me girl/woman/female. Flicka

  34. Peggy Lorenz says:

    Kelly, I am so glad you have come through to the other side of your depression! I am dealing with it also, though I don’t have the support of my husband. I feel sometimes as if he is “the messenger of Satan, sent to torment me”…so much evil (new things surfacing all the time). Though I keep praying, there has been no change. Still praying to see what God would have me do. I would appreciate your prayers…thank you.

  35. Mama Cook says:

    Kelly! I’m absolutely amazed at your responses to so many comments! I’m so proud of so many women ready to “lay it out” and be real! My own tears spilled over as I read your post! Your words were such an encouragement to my own situation that I have been imploring God to know “if I’ll ever ‘get over it'”! I’m happy for your return…praising God for your continued recovery…rejoicing with you in continued hope and healing! Much love! Lora

    • Word Warrior says:

      The comments–the “thank you’s” from other women are so sweet, such a confirmation to me that God is always using our trials for His purposes. That my small trial could be used to encourage another woman is a blessing worth every painful step.

  36. Melissa says:

    You are so lucky (or blessed) to have a husband to support you and encourage you during this time. One of our children has relapsed cancer – it has been going on for many years, plus me having babies and I am just so tired, I feel like I cannot go on, and this has been going on for a long time. I am working with a naturopathic doctor yet the continued stress of my home situation is not helping me heal. My husband is absolutely no help, except in some of the physical work of taking care of the house. I can understand how you felt, and glad that you seemed to work through it quickly. I am trying to simply trust God, even though everything is so difficult. Thanks for posting – I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now.

    • 6 arrows says:

      Melissa,

      I am so sorry about the stressful home situation you are experiencing, and your child’s relapsed cancer. I will pray for you.

      I know that ongoing stresses can be very difficult to deal with. I have an 8-year-old special needs son, and while he has made very good progress in the last year or so, in the early years it was very difficult to simply trust God and His timetable as our son struggled to achieve even modest gains over his developmental delays and severe phobias. It seemed whenever he’d make a little progress in one area, he’s regress in another, or totally relapse into something we thought he had conquered. Or a new phobia would appear, seemingly out of the blue, and we’d wonder ‘Where did that come from?’. And then there’d be a months- or years-long journey to overcome that.

      The cycle of gaining and then backtracking, or worse yet, feeling like nothing will ever change for the good is so difficult. I understand what you’re saying with your statement “…the continued stress of my home situation is not helping me heal.” There was a time a few years ago that the effort of living with that cycle became almost too much. I just went flat for a while, and found it very hard to function.

      But I learned God’s faithfulness through it, in a way I don’t think I could have experienced if He hadn’t blessed us with our son, whom we love and learn so very much from. The Lord’s tender mercies are infinite, and He can always be trusted, even when we don’t know what He is doing or why. It took me a long time to really learn that lesson, though.

      May you find comfort in communing with God through His Word and prayer as you wait on Him, Melissa. Lifting you in prayer, sister…

  37. Gina DeBruler says:

    On Monday morning, July 16, 2012 (a little over a week ago) my step-mother shot herself. She had battled depression off and on for years, but this time the lingering depression and darkness of her mental health must have been too much to bare another day of. I have never delt with this type of depression and I hope never to. Thank you for sharing your experience. If you think of it, please keep my daddy and step-siblings in your prayers. Also, she was an organ donor and was able to donate her lungs, kidneys, and liver to a fellow-human in need. Please keep those people in your prayers also. Her name was Virgilene…and she is going to be missed.

  38. Sherry says:

    Dearest Kelly,

    I was so glad to hear you were taking some time off. I understand depression very well, and while it hurts more than words can express, it has also been God’s sweet blessing to me, as it has been part of His training for me.

    It is wonderful to share about darkness and realize just how many hearts and hands are there with you–it somehow gives even the depths some warmth!

    It is so wonderful to know that Jesus was a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”–oh, the wonderful comforts God has afforded us!

    Sherry

  39. What a beautiful testimony to God’s unfailing love, and to that love mirrored in your earthly husband.

  40. Amber says:

    I’m glad to have you back!!!

  41. Sanne says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I know it’s an old article but this was exactly what I needed right this moment. 4 weeks ago we had our 5th baby,a baby that was very wanted!people around us think we are crazy for “continuing to have children”… the birth was hard and tiring,baby cried allot. When he was 1 week old our 5 year old son broke his leg… It felt so hard and overwhelming. It seems to have brought both me and my husband so very low and we are struggling right now. Baby is very unsettled and cries allot and as you know,life doesnt just stop because you need a break… will read this again and I will cling to God,our only hope. Please pray for my husband, I need him right now. Thank you for yourministry. It has meant allot to the last few years. X

    • Thank you, Sanne.

      I will pray that you will be able to see past this current, trying situation, and remember it is a season; it will pass. And I pray the Lord will strengthen you and give you energy and joy in the midst of it.

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