You know that some of them are just easier. Every personality different, some subdued and quiet, people-pleasers by nature. But some are hyper-sensitive and critical, self-absorbed and viciously just, but too immature for real justice (which translates, “That’s not fair!!!!” a hundred times a day).
It’s the hard thing of parenting. And it’s the good thing. It’s what reminds us that “doing everything right” doesn’t work, and we can’t take credit for the grace that God pours out on our children.
And yet, we don’t–we can’t throw our hands up either and leave it all to chance. We are still commanded to walk with them in truth, to nurture them in love, and to show them the blessing and curse of choosing wisdom over foolishness.
God gave them to us to teach them about Him. It’s what we were created for.
Cutting through the theological jargon (though we do have to understand responsibility vs. God’s work), some of you have a child who simply makes you cry a lot. I know because I have one. It’s a child who, when God grips that heart and indwells that spirit, will do amazing things. It’s a strong child with simply the strength pointed in the wrong direction some days.
What to do?
Be consistent, and be real. This child is your catalyst. This child may be just like you, all the harder to parent. Raising this child is not just about him…it’s largely about you. God will chisel and hammer away at you and it will hurt. But He’s doing something good in both of you. And because it hurts, you will say things you shouldn’t say and do things you shouldn’t do. You will need to repent and ask forgiveness. Do not refuse to ask your child to forgive you! No matter how often. This could be one of the most important lessons for him to learn. To see your humanness, your utter dependence on the Lord, your tears and your humility as you realize you don’t know what to do.
This child makes you feel like giving up some days. But it’s not an option. So you dig in. You love him with all that’s in you, over and over. You listen. You hug him, you tell him you’re not giving up and you prove it.
You speak truth to him. You read him God’s Word. You require him to as well. You find ways to laugh. And in his anger you let him know you are on his team.
You pray for him. You pray hard and long. You get through the day and the Lord will give you strength for tomorrow. You’ll get through it. We’ll get through it.
*Need practical help and encouragement as a mom? When Motherhood Feels Too Hard–the book that will change the way you parent.