I can’t think of a belief more ingrained in our nature than the ours about love. The emotions that run high in a new relationship are so much a part of our “love paradigm” that if they weren’t there, the idea of continuing that relationship would be ludicrous.
Emotions have their place. But not nearly so high a place as we’ve given them. And that fact, I’m afraid, has wrecked many a marriage when real life settles in and the fleeting emotions…well, flee.
So how can we, as parents helping our children navigate through this thing called “love and marriage”, inform them that almost every message they receive about love is jaded? How can we help them understand real love, the kind that holds marriages together through decades of laundry and sickness?
I’m not sure, but we have to get it right in our own heads first.
I hope this article begins the conversation…don’t forget to come back and have it.
“From Disney movies, to my favorite shows like The Office, to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we’re married. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever.
I can’t imagine a bigger lie. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long. And how much I’m sure those messages are bouncing around in other people’s heads as well.
I think that might be a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating. A country of people trying to live a Disney movie.”
Read the rest of “I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married“