Raising Men in a Man-Hating World

They were too loud and fidgety so we drugged them.

They were too rough so we softened them.

They were too given to leading us so we insulted them.

They were too protective so we started opening our own doors.

And still they simply try to be who we need and want them to be.

Men are rare. Real men allowed to be who God made them. And like almost everything in the universe, we, WOMEN, hold the power to shape and change. We are the ones who have so craftily disassembled the real men. And only we can help build them back and raise a new generation of them.

I want to love my boys, but let them be boys.

I expect a lot from them. I tell them they are leaders, even now, in our family, either modeling character, sacrifice and honor before their siblings, or living an example of self-centeredness and foolishness.

I am glad they are rugged, like to pretend to shoot things and play in the dirt. It serves an important purpose and I don’t want to feminize their tendencies, calling it “learned behavior” that needs to be unlearned in order to be better managed.

I want them to give special honor to women, children and the elderly. I want them to live out “my-life-for-yours.”

I want them to have role models like Daniel and Joshua; not Justin Bieber.

I want them to think, even now, about the family they will likely have one day. I want them to be planning, dreaming and making wise decisions now that will find them prepared at the right time.

I want them spending time wisely, preparing in their youth for one woman, not wasting it dabbling in relationships for which they have no business pursuing, wrecking hearts and lives along the way. I want them to pursue purity of mind, body and spirit.

I want them to have vision and I speak to them of such. I want them to have purpose, to connect actions with consequences, to be wise and walk circumspectly. This requires a basic rejection of typical adolescent thinking.

I want them to pursue the Lord young, to thirst after righteousness, and so we raise them to love Him, not as “heathens yet to pray a prayer”, but as children holy and beloved, members of His covenant of grace, and ever pressing toward the mark of the high calling of Christ Jesus.

Let’s. raise. men.


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66 Responses to “Raising Men in a Man-Hating World”

  1. Kelly says:

    AMEN! It seemed somedays I’d never catch up to my four-year-old son! He’s always on the go, always dirty, always rowdy. But I began praying aloud with him that God would use him to stand up for the weak and be a warrior for Heaven. He not only loves this, he remembers it in daily situations and it is improving his selfish behavior. This is clearly what God intented for little boys!

  2. Stacy says:

    Im laughing at this only because I have the opposite problem! I have a 5 year old girl. She has and older brother and an older sister. She prefers to play with her brothers toys, Legos, guns, star wars, knights, etc… Than she does with dolls. I’ve tried to get her to play with them, and she did when she was younger, but not so much anymore. How do I cultivate her roll as a wife and mother when she would prefer to play like a boy!

    And just a note on your gentle son. My husband was raised by his mother and sister, with no father around really until he was a tween. He is the most loving, caring, sensitive man I have ever met. He was so passive that I had to beg him to stand up and lead our family, and as the stronger personality of us, I had to make myself back down and let him lead. It was a long hard road in our marriage because with our personalities, I’m the more aggressive, a type, I tended to try and take charge. I would encourage you to let him be gentle now and draw the line like Kate suggested. As he gets older, encourage him with your husbands guidance to let him make decisions, easy and hard ones, he won’t want too, he will let you decide for him. Don’t let him be passive as he grows up. As the wife, it is so hard to have a man that doesn’t like to make decisions! My husband didnt like to be the bad guy.

    Learning how to be a man when you already are one, is much harder and he struggles daily. I love my gentle husband and a lot of my friends think he is the perfect husband. He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me. I hope this encourages you to let him be for now. As he gets older, you husband needs to step up and really take an active roll in teaching him how to be a man. That is what my husband lacked.

  3. […] There is a gross misunderstanding by feminists and the feminist-minded that take-charge men are bullies. Some males are bullies, but those aren’t men. (Raising Men in a Man-Hating World) […]

  4. Stacy says:

    Thanks Kayla, That makes me feel better!

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