Category: feminism

Why Feminists Will Never Be Happy

Guest Post by Reagan Ramm

Feminism has failed. More and more people are starting to realize this fact, but the beast just won’t die! While all of society is worse off for the advance of Feminism, the sad irony is that those who lose out the most are the Feminist women themselves.

I’m not talking about the first wave of Feminism which campaigned for suffrage and the end of abortion (though this wave was not without flaws). Yes, the first Feminists were staunchly pro-life because they understood how harmful abortion was for women (not to mention it is murder). It is the second and third waves of feminism which have failed us as a society, and failed women most of all.

The Marxist, Betty Freidan, was the spark that launched what is now modern Feminism. In her book, The Feminine Mystique, she claimed that she, and other women, were unhappy being housewives, and that women desired more than just their husbands, children, and homes. However, she actually wasn’t a “stay-at-home” mom, but worked outside the home. It was her Marxist ideology that drove her to write the book, not her dissatisfaction with being a housewife.

Nevertheless, was she correct in arguing that women wanted out of the home, less family obligations, and longed for careers in the workforce?

I am not sure if women in the 50s and 60s were dissatisfied with their lives, but what we can be certain of, is that women, and Feminists in particular, are more unhappy and dissatisfied with life than the women of the mid-1900s.

In a recent study entitled, The Paradox Of Declining Female Happiness1, it was revealed that as a whole, women are less happy than men, and less happy than women 40 years ago. Why?

This is indeed a paradox since Feminism has gained an incredible amount of ground in the last 40-years. Women today are the most advantaged and privileged in the history of the world. There are more women in the workforce than ever. More women in politics than ever. More women in college than men. Abortion is legal and easily available, which liberates women from the slavery of unwanted motherhood. I could go on, but you get the idea.

If Feminist women are getting all the things they thought they needed to be happy…then why are women less happy? More specifically, why are Feminist women, who have gained all the things they have championed for, the least satisfied with life?2-3

The answer is that Feminism works against the development of true satisfaction. Feminists can never be happy. This is because Feminism, like many other ideologies, completely misunderstands how humans (particularly women) were designed to function and flourish.

Feminism assumes that it is status, wealth, and recognition that will make women happy and satisfied. Feminism claims to “empower” and promote women as strong, and capable of doing anything men can do just as well, and even better. Feminism may hide under the guise of “equality”, but it is actually advancing self-worship.

Feminism believes that women should be able to do what they want, dress how they want, act how they want, and not have to suffer any consequences. If a woman doesn’t want to raise her child, she can kill him or her, and Feminists will celebrate her. As an example, the University of North Carolina – Wilmington celebrated “abortion heroes,” praising, “the brave men and women who performed abortions before they were legal, often risking their own lives and freedom.”4

Abortion isn’t just a choice Feminists believe women should have, it is a glorious instrument for the liberation of women. The price the unborn child must pay is of no consequence. Why? Because the comfort and desires of the mother are more important.

The celebration of abortion that Feminism promotes is just one example of how this ideology encourages selfishness. From putting careers over family, to the exaltation of the hook-up culture, Feminists constantly lie to women (and themselves) that the path to happiness is through self-indulgence. “Only you can make yourself happy,” is a common maxim, and Feminism is the ideology that allows this mantra to be lived out. The only problem is it isn’t working. Women can’t make themselves happy.

Men can’t make themselves happy either. This is the paradox the study revealed, the same paradox Jesus told us about 2000 years ago:

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” – Matthew 16:25

We weren’t created to serve ourselves, but to serve others. We were created to do good (Ephesians 2:10). It is not status or wealth that we are to live for. It isn’t our careers, or the number of romantic partners, or whether we get to wear the clothes we want, which leads to happiness and the good life. This self-first thinking leads to misery.

It is not the “empowered,” whom Jesus said were blessed. “The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” – Matthew 23:11-12

If Feminists really cared about women and the well-being of women, they wouldn’t encourage women to seek their own desires, but to desire the good and well-being of others, especially their husbands and children.

If Feminists really cared about the good of women, they would be resolutely against women killing their unborn son or daughter just because the child is inconvenient, or would get in the way of the mother’s current life goals.

If Feminists really cared about women and their happiness, Feminists would not cheer for women to dress immodestly or to live promiscuously.

If Feminists really wanted what is best for women, they would not call for wives to battle their husbands, or place their career above their children and family.

But Feminists don’t want what is best for women, and what Feminists do want for women will not make women happy. Female-empowerment proponents thought “equality” was what women needed to be happy, but the data shows they were wrong. Feminists will never be happy because it is happiness, no matter the consequences, they are chasing. True fulfillment and joy cannot be found by seeking. Like a bar of soap, the harder you try to grab on to it, the more it will slip through your fingers.

The good life, the life God wants for us, can only be found through living in His kingdom, and doing what He wants to be done—loving God and our neighbors as ourselves. This is not a love that enables others to seek their own happiness, but a love that wills the good, and seeks the well-being of others above our own.

As Christians, we have no need for Feminism. The Bible clearly shows men and women are both created in the image of God, and therefore equal in worth. The Bible is also clear that men and women are different, created for different purposes, and both are to put the needs and well-being of others before themselves. Let us not fall into the trap of believing that it is more recognition, status, or wealth that will make us happier and fulfilled.

1http://www.nber.org/papers/w14969.pdf?new_window=1

2http://nypost.com/2013/12/27/conservative-women-hold-secret-to-happiness/

3http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/the_highbrow/2006/03/desperate_feminist_wives.html

4http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=6003

 



Obama’s Feminist Remark: It’s Not About Choice

You’ve probably seen the quote from Obama’s speech Friday but in case you haven’t, the statement that rightly has stay-at-home moms up in arms is this:

“Sometimes, someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. And that’s not a choice we want Americans to make.”

He called for more taxpayer spending on preschool so moms won’t “have to make that choice.”

Besides some really obvious reasons this statement was so ridiculous, it disturbs me on a couple of levels.

Feminism Isn’t What They Say it Is

The leader of our country has just worn feminism’s true face, delivering a clear message to the young men and women at a college in Rhode Island (and everywhere): “It’s not really about choice.”

Feminism is an enemy of the traditional family and all that represents. Women may be technically free to make the choices they want, but women who choose home will be stigmatized more and more, as feminists (like our President) continue to belittle the role of a home-career.

Is it All About the Money?

From his statement, yes, apparently it is. And do you know why? Because somewhere, somehow, very slowly, we forgot how important it is for parents to invest in the lives of their children, that raising people is the most important job in the world, and that neglect to do so, deliberately and wholeheartedly, will bring negative consequences on all of us. So if it’s not important, why would any woman choose to do it when she could make money doing something important? It’s kind of a no-brainer.

The news is rife with a “world gone mad” and we scratch our heads and talk about solutions to crime and send police officers to school and implement “mass shooting drills” and the list goes on, and all the while, no one suggests that maybe, we should go back to the cradle and start honoring people-raising as a career and remind our young women coming up that they are the ones who can rule the world, and that is pretty important.

But feminism’s true face wants mammas and babies separated as soon as possible. Do you wonder why? Let me remind you that Hitler wanted the same thing. The earlier the state can get our children, the easier it is to make “good citizens” out of them. Nothing good has ever come of that.

But they can’t say that exactly so it comes out something like:

“You poor, underprivileged stay-at-home mom who has to clean up messes all day while other women are earning a paycheck in heels. Let me help you out…” Don’t buy it.

Obama, if he really cares about our nation and the people in it, needs to say,

“Sometimes, someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. But there’s no better investment she could make for her family and for our nation. Thank you mothers, for trading a fleeting paycheck for the priceless investment of the next generation.”

I am mother, hear me roar.



And the Real Feminism Steps Right Up

I’ve written for years on the damage I believe feminism has done to society though feminists are always ready to jump in and say I’m ignorant and don’t understand anything about feminism.

Thankfully, we don’t even have to “peel back the layers” of real feminism anymore. It gets uglier all on its own. Matt Walsh covered the recent shock-tactic by a t-shirt company/activist site and portrayed perfectly the deception of the feminist movement and how it’s hurting us. Be sure to read Feminism Has Nothing to Say But it Still Won’t Shut Up. (Warning: video has explicit language by children)



Why I’m Seeking Softness, Not Sameness

It might seem like an odd trait to cultivate, but I’ve been thinking lately about how “softness” is missing in a lot of today’s women, why it’s a powerful trait, and why I’m purposing to become a softer woman.

The pursuit of equality has robbed us of more than it gave. With all the hear me roaring going on, and the clawing our way up the corporate ladder, proving that “anything you can do I can do better” to all the men who want to “hold us down”, we’ve become hard, tough, independent women, and in our own delusion, we applaud ourselves for these qualities instead of mourning the death of our naturally-powerful attributes.

Equal doesn’t have to be the same. That’s where we got sorely misguided. To become more like men doesn’t make us equal any more than wearing a wig makes them more able to bear children.

We are already equal. Just different. That difference is (was?) incredible! Femininity is a unique gift that only we were given. Our softness and all that encapsulates is a powerful force and it is a strength we already possess and don’t have to fight for.

I have found that even those of us who would never think of ourselves as trying to act like men, have still been subtly influenced and tempted to throw off our feminine traits in favor of tougher, more manly ones.

Realistically, and ironically, true femininity is strong. A woman can be soft and strong, tender and tough, deferring and dignified, all at the same time.

She can “laugh at the time to come”, live fearlessly, be in shape, be a sharp business woman, manage her home with wisdom and be her husband’s most trusted companion, all while seeking to be soft, feminine and lovely.

I think a woman’s countenance reflects her heart’s attention. That is, what she studies, reads, thinks about and seeks after is an innate part of her and will manifest itself even in her physical demeanor. In the way we dress, carry ourselves, the words we use and even in the volume of our voices.

Now for a bit of confession. I am writing this post to myself more than for anyone else, I’m just hoping it may resonate with you too. I struggle, and always have, with a reactionary personality, raising my voice and answering harshly. I overreact to things more than I should and do not choose gentleness when I should.

It is deeply rooted and I know each day when I get up I am fighting a battle against myself. One in which I will likely lose a couple of wars.

But just like weeding a garden, I will not stop pulling the weeds and cultivating the soil of my heart.

My aim is gentleness and softness. I want to be known as a woman who had “the law of kindness on her tongue.”

I want to be known as a woman who spoke well of others, honored others even if they weren’t present, found the beauty even when it was hidden, and inspired those around me to live more intentionally.

I want to be a steady mom, expecting much, forgiving much, leading my children into adulthood with firmness and resolve, love and laughter, determination and perseverance.

I want a constitution as strong as steel, and a demeanor as soft as a dove.

I’m thankful God didn’t make me the same as my husband. I can assure you, our husbands are thankful too.

Equal but vastly different. Praise Him.

 

 



Do You Pity the Girl at Home? Feminism Lies Again.

The young woman, fresh out of college, caught the eager listeners up to date on her life. Approving nods confirmed her choice: Early Childhood Development. She had spent four years earning her degree and was now employed at a Montessori Preschool Academy where, she admitted, she has learned more than most of her classes taught her.

What didn’t come up in the conversation was how much debt she accrued getting her degree and how much it was costing her to live in an apartment with her roommate.

Interestingly, another young woman shared her experience at home, part of which is specializing in early childhood development too. With more education than four years of textbooks could ever provide, the high school graduate helps from time to time in different areas of her siblings’s education, especially enjoying teaching the younger ones and watching their miraculous development.

Somehow, her choice doesn’t get nearly the approval the one the first woman made.

“How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”― G.K. Chesterton

And approval isn’t even the point. The point is how the distinction exposes our misunderstanding of the importance of home and family, and, as Chesterton points out, how confused our definition of success is.

Ironically, the second woman is doing what the first woman is doing, only with her own siblings–children she has good reason to invest in–and get this: without debt and without the burdening monthly expenses of rent, utilities and food.

And also get this: the girl at the preschool is stuck there, eight hours a day, with no freedom of her own until after work hours. The other girl only works part-time, with a great part of the day free to pursue other things.

She is paid in boarding, food and utilities, among many other ways and is even able to save money because she has the time to pursue extra income possibilities. The other girl spends almost all of her income to pay for those things with little freedom (and don’t forget the debt).

The second woman has made a smarter choice. It’s a mathematical and practical fact. Yet not only is that not acknowledged, but the more expensive, encroaching choice wins the approval while the smart choice garners pitying looks. There’s nothing condescending in that; it’s no different than saying “it’s smarter to pay cash for something than borrow money for it.” That doesn’t mean the one who borrowed money is bad, just that one choice IS inherently smarter than the other. And I’m making a statement about the two women in my example, as a general observation. That doesn’t make college always bad for everyone.

Interestingly, the knee-jerk reaction is to defend the career position, missing the point entirely. I’m not criticizing the first woman, I’m defending the second one. I just want to see some honesty in the discussion. Feminism has tried to say “It’s all about freedom and women choosing whatever they want, career or home.” We all know that’s a lie; at least the girl on the receiving end of the pitying faces does.

I don’t know how we got here.

 



Women, Work & Freedom: One Big, Fat, Suicidal Error

Nicholas Farrell nailed it in his piece, Women, Work & Freedom, exposing the truths that most of us are too afraid to say out loud, regardless of the damage we’ve all suffered from ignoring it.

“Women in Europe and America have made one great big fat suicidal error as a result of modern feminism since the movement’s inception: They have confused work with freedom. This confusion has had catastrophic consequences for all of us because it has fatally infected the core activity of any healthy civilization: the creation and upbringing of children….

The truth is the precise opposite….Nearly all work, if we mean the work that most people in the West do day after day in exchange for money, is a life sentence in prison. It is dull, repetitive, and soul-destroying. It does not liberate.” -Nicholas Farrell

I have always puzzled at the claim of “freedom” in the demand of women to work outside the home when it is apparent they haven’t been liberated from anything, but rather had a burden added to their already intensive, full-time job. Not liberation, but stress, anxiety and exhaustion seems to be what women really fought for and won.

I have said before, I’m not trying to be oppressive by saying that women should focus on their roles at home instead of clamoring to get out; I’m trying to illumine the truly liberating life that so many have forsaken for a false promise. (That’s a nice thing, right? And every time I still get harassed for it…go figure.)

And yes, bringing up children had to be villainized, on some level, before feminists could convince the masses of women that they were somehow being short-changed. They were too…distracted, maybe? to realize, as Farrell said, that the secret to a “healthy civilization” is having children and investing, full time, in their upbringing. And, the results are in. We’re splitting at the seams and no one seems to make the connection.

And then there’s this–oh how did we miss this:

“If women stopped work tomorrow it would solve the West’s chronic unemployment crisis overnight. Due to the dire shortage of workers left, salaries would rocket.”

The “can’t afford it” argument? Sometimes that’s true (although usually not), but we created that monster too. If one-income families were the norm, the income would rise to meet it. It’s just so simple: women have an incredibly important role to play (THE most important, perhaps?) and men are sufficiently ready to take care of us and do the grunt work of providing an income. We all have a wonderful, specific cog in this wheel that makes the world go ’round, one just as important as the other. But it takes us all, content with our cogs, to keep the wheel turning.

Read the rest of Women, Work & Freedom

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