Hierarchy Attributed to Helping Chile Miners Survive

According to NASA psychologists, part of what helped the trapped miners survive was the establishing of a hierarchy among themselves, including roles such as “spiritual leader, food manger, team leader, shift supervisor, secretary, reporter, ” etc….

I leaped off the couch when I heard this report as we watched the incredible rescue, and yelled, “someone give me a pen and paper”. Nobody else really caught the sentence, but it jumped out at me.

“Incredibly, the miners had established a hierarchy among themselves in the 17 days before they were found. The Chilean officials are supporting that hierarchy and leadership, which the NASA team also commended.”

The psychologist went on to say they see similar behavior anytime there is a group of people depending on each other for survival….people on a mission. And get his, one psychologist said, “When the people in the group submit to that hierarchy they do better physically and emotionally.”

Hierarchy in real life is NOT a popular concept.  We have successfully repressed the idea that there is any need for one person to oversee another in any form (except an employer/employee relationship).

But a life crisis reveals something very telling of human nature:  we need order and yes, hierarchy.

The roles that the men played “down under” did not diminish the value of any of them.  I doubt one of them came up from that cave feeling resentful or “second-rate”.  It happened quite naturally.  No one was balking at the idea of hierarchy.

Why do we?

It reminds me of a family!  On a mission, surviving through life’s crises.  Only in a family, God establishes the perfect hierarchy where He is supreme leader.

Just thought it was an interesting observation.

The Point of Being a Woman

“F emininity was designed to display truths about the Gospel of Christ. An attitude of submission and a whole life-posture of support was created by God to be a living picture of His relationship to His own people. When we choose to live apart from that design, we distort the Gospel-picture and miss the entire point of being a woman!  Womanhood exists to tell us the cosmic truth of the Gospel.” Mary Kassian

Mama, Do You Like Your Children?

I stood talking with a woman at the checkout and her 5-year-old was climbing first up her leg, then squealing, then dropping to the floor, still holding her mother’s arms, jerking her downward, demanding to be picked up, running round and round while the mother’s face grew more tense, trying to focus on our conversation–both of us attempting to ignore the giant elephant of this demanding child.

“I have two and I’m exhausted”, she said.  “They’re wild.”

Wild.  Her words played back as I drove home.  The lady appeared to be a Christian–I know at least that she attended church regularly.

Lately it seems that  I see too many mothers not enjoying their children.  Some of them say so right out loud.  They scramble to go places, to find activities to entertain them.  It seems impossible to them to just be at home for any length of time with their children, playing, hanging out, soaking them in.

Just being….something, I think maybe children need more than anything.

What is the problem?

I sit frozen at my computer after typing that question. I think of so many things, intertwined, reciprocating, and it’s impossible to make a list.

I think of mothers and fathers who simply lack the wisdom and understanding of basic child-training.  I think of a new wave of parenting among Christians that shames parents for even believing that the Bible teaches they have authority over their children. What do we do with that?

I think of parents too busy to engage in child training if they did understand it; too consumed with other pursuits to roll up their sleeves and perform the arduous task of raising children.

I think of how the birth control mentality we embrace inadvertently distorts our view of children and makes them a burden before they even arrive.

I think of the sheer lack of time parents spend with their children that hinders the natural friendship and affectionate bond that should exist which draws us to enjoy them.

I think of our addiction to entertainment and distraction and how it destroys family relationships.

I think of so many organizations that subtlety pull the already-fragmented family in different directions–physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I think of a century of feminist dogma that convinced us that motherhood was peripheral, at best, and not worth our full attention.

I think of the utter death of the “Christian soldier about my Father’s business” in the 21st century.

And I think of how all these factors become a vicious cycle that reaffirms our decision to stop having children–godly offspring that were intended to “speak with the enemy in the gates”.

I think of apathy among Christians, and a lack of theological depth and a flippant belief system.

What we believe affects how we live.

And if we believe that “it doesn’t really matter–this way or that, whatever works for you” we all end up swirling around in this cesspool of confusion and consequences from rejecting the wisdom of God.

Yep, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stick with “Do You Like Your Children”.

Everything’s connected.  It’s about our whole world view.

That’s my life message.

And we’re going to have to do a lot of rewinding to get to liking our children again.

Do Working Women Blaspheme God’s Word?

My friend Stacy @ Your Sacred Calling, has done a superb job of handling this issue of Titus 2.   Well worth the read.

“I’ve received questions as to what is meant in Titus 2 where Paul talks about God’s Word being blasphemed.  They wondered if working women blaspheme God’s name. First, let me say no; from what I’ve studied in the word of God, a woman who works outside of the home does not blaspheme God’s Word by doing so….

Ladies, this is the Word of God! We may be able to debate the definition of a keeper at home, but we really can’t argue about the fact that being a “homemaker” is in fact included in the list of things young women should be taught to practice. And it seems pretty clear that Paul is saying God’s Word is blasphemed in society when the church rejects or ignores the teachings of Titus 2.”

Read full article

The Secret to a Husband’s Love, Happy Marriage

“My husband won’t take me on walks.”

“Have you asked him to or told him you would like to?”

“Oh, no, I’m not going to do that.  If he loved me he would volunteer.”

My friend was asking me how she could help her neighbor who seemed to be suffering from depression because of her “bad marriage”.  (She kept the woman’s identity anonymous.) But as she prodded for descriptions of said marital problems, she saw a completely different picture than what her neighbor seemed to see.

She described the neighbor’s countenance as she foamed about her husband.  Narrow eyes, a tight mouth, and a 2-hour conversation riddled with criticism and negativity.

“He just doesn’t show me love.”

The husband provided for the family and the wife mentioned that he almost always cooked breakfast and would cuddle with her at night.

My friend said, “to be honest, if she’s half as critical at home, I give her husband Kudos for as much as he does for her”.

Description after description of her “problems” revealed a constant critique of “what he doesn’t do for me” as opposed to any thought of what she gives him or what he does do for her.

Listening to my friend, I realized how common this is.  I’ve heard this story so many times before.

The tricky part is, this wife, and others, literally feel “abused”.  This woman talked about “the deep hurt” but couldn’t produce a reasonable piece of evidence that her husband did anything to purposely hurt her.

Standing from a distance, I think of several factors that have caused this cycle many wives describe–factors of which we all need to be wary.

• Artificial men. From romance novels to soap operas to the latest Twilight series, the entertainment industry has fed our lustful desires for husbands that don’t really exist.  The smooth-tongued, at-your-beck-and-call, romantic, say-all-the-right-things guy is rare.  But, he’s in our books and tv and so we indulge in our own “emotional pornography” and it’s just as degrading and hurtful to marriages as the husband who compares his wife to that filthy picture in his magazine.

• Feminist men. To spur the aforementioned image, the feminist movement has done a great job of planting seeds of discontentment into the hearts of women.  As gender differences are spurned, our men have been told to act more like women, in so many ways.  And if they don’t, there’s a barrage of criticism waiting to be launched against their character.

• Our right to pout. In keeping with the feminist propaganda, women were told they have a right to demand and get the things they want.  So, if hubby hasn’t chucked enough of his masculinity to meet my expectations, I deserve to punish him with my coldness, criticism or indifference–a recipe for marital disaster.

In the end, there is a bitter, unhappy woman crying on her friend’s shoulder about how her husband doesn’t bend over backwards to show her love.  Meanwhile, he’s about to go insane.  He thought he was being a good husband.  Most husbands want to please their wives.  They just aren’t women.  They have unclogged the toilet, killed the bugs, taken out the trash, repaired the car, noticed the tread on the tires is getting dangerous, brought home a paycheck faithfully for years, been a faithful father and husband, all for a woman who complains that he doesn’t do enough.  (By the way, this hurts me to write it.  I’ve been this woman.)

Would that husband be a little more eager to show affection or surprise his wife with romantic flair if he came home to a smiling, thankful face?  If she expressed a bit more gratitude?  If she made the home a pleasant place to be?  If she actually tried to make his life easier?

I pray we would all let our men be men and watch how a thankful heart may be the secret to drawing him out.

Raising Daughters of Grace, Beauty and Loveliness

Disclaimer (of which the discerning reader may skip):

I tire of disclaimers.  They clutter.  Yet, sometimes I take a walk on the wild side and leave it out.  I guess this post needed one.

Disclaimer #1:  Just because I posted a picture of Jacqueline Kennedy doesn’t mean I consider her a role model.  She is graceful, lovely and charming.  That’s it.

Disclaimer #2:  Regarding the mentioning of the Victorian era:  the words ” improperly elevated” are the disclaimer.

Disclaimer #3:  This is not a dissertation on whether Jane Austen was a feminist.  We like her movies.  And the pretty clothes.  And the dreamy way Jennifer Ehle says, “You puzzle me exceedingly”. The mentioning of other eras is just that–a mentioning in a post primarily meant to encourage ladies to be ladies.

End of disclaimer.

Loveliness.  Grace.  True Beauty.

You recognize it when you see it.  But it’s becoming rare.  The Victorian era has certainly been improperly elevated, and us Jane Austen-lovin’ gals still swoon over over-romanticized ideals, but there is something to be said about the way women of that day carried themselves, dressed and behaved.

The rules weren’t all pomp and circumstance; women were cherished (despite what many believe) and treated like ladies and they played the part.  Being delicate was not a weakness and acting like a female was actually recognized for the power it holds.  Women were comfortable and strong in their femininity and didn’t feel the need to compete with the toughness of the other gender.

Value or De-valued?

In our day, we have clamored our way out of  “female oppression”, roaring all the way.  And it shows.  Read more »