“Hospitality, according to Jesus, is essentially being willing to be humiliated!”
Hospitality= Humble Service=”Caring for the needs of others”
Jesus’ last act as He knelt and washed the disciples’ feet–caring for their basic, unexciting needs, was the final, ultimate irony of His entire message to us: “Forget yourself, become the least, serve until you’re spent and you can be My disciple”.
I think it’s significant that He used the lowest of acts AND performed them for his “spiritual family”, those men who had become like sons to Him, as His “grand finale”. I don’t know about you, but I need to hang out in that story for a bit!
Once we understand the What, Why, When and How of Hospitality, it is easier to focus on the practical ways to carry out this important command. With all our notions of entertainment and impression aside, we should feel freer now to embrace real hospitality. Instead of being prompted by pride (impress them with my food, my house, etc.) Jesus reminds us that hospitality is essentially being willing to be humiliated! Ouch.
“Outward” Hospitality
I mentioned in the last post that phone calls, sending cards and carrying meals are a few ways to show hospitality. It’s very easy to make this a regular part of our lives with a little forethought. Hints:
- Keep a basket full of note cards, stamps, pens and address book. Keep the basket in a visible place as a reminder. Ask the Lord to lay someone on your heart and follow through with a kind word. If He prompts you to send a monetary gift, it can be a tremendous blessing to someone, if not just to say, “God has not forsaken you”. Consider those you may not readily think about–often the women who seem to “have it all together” don’t, and could use a word of “I’m praying for you today”.
- Occasionally make an extra meal/plate while you cook for your family to have on hand when a neighbor needs a meal. My Dad has the habit of fixing a plate from their dinner and carrying it to a widowed man down the road. It is about the only cooked meal he ever eats. It takes less than 10 minutes and it is a tremendous blessing to “Mr. Bill”.
- I’ve mentioned before the incredible gift that my friend’s daughters have given to me on more than one occasion. Sometimes they will bring a meal and clean the house for me, mostly because they just love to serve. Busy moms appreciate acts of kindness as much as the next person!
- Our neighbors usually bring a huge basket of breakfast food (cereal, bread, jam, fruit, etc.) when we come home after a new baby has been born. A very practical relief to sleepy parents.
Hospitality at Home
Having people over, though not the only way to show hospitality, is the area most people feel inadequate. There are several things our family thinks are important as we practice hospitality:
- If it’s too stressful, we’ll avoid it, so we must make it doable for our family in our season.
- If it’s stressful, Mom isn’t joyful. If Mom isn’t joyful the rest of the family isn’t either. If we can’t welcome others into our home with joy, there’s no point.
- A welcoming spirit is much more important than the menu.
- Be practical.
- Everyone serves.
- If we don’t plan deliberately (get out the calendar, call and invite someone) it remains something “we need to do”.
- An imperfect house is not only OK, but can be tremendously encouraging to another mom who (incorrectly) thinks you are perfect. Tidy is good; perfection is hypocrisy.
Food.
We recently concluded that a one or two dish meal needed to become our standard “company menu” for several reasons. One, it’s easier to prepare ahead of time and anything you can do early in the day relieves stress as time for guests to arrive approaches.
Secondly, if there are a lot of people, it’s much less chaotic at meal time to serve from one or two dishes rather than five or six.
Third, if the budget needs considered, this is usually the most economic route.
I’ve learned from more seasoned women that selecting one or two regular “guests menus” saves a lot of stress; also, you become more efficient practicing with the same menu. (See one of our menus below.)
Note: It’s perfectly wonderful to have people over just for dessert and coffee–especially at first if you just want to ease in.
Cleaning House
As I’ve mentioned, I’m learning that not only is it OK for our house to not be perfect (no point trying), but I am personally relieved to see someone’s house look a bit lived in as well. So I feel there’s a balance; we should honor our guests by presenting a tidy, pleasing atmosphere, but we should not feign perfection as it provides neither us nor our guests any benefit.
Tips:
- We designate Fridays as cleaning day. This is also the day we try to invite others over. Having company is added incentive for everyone to work diligently and cheerfully.
- Play soothing music during dinner–this is a biggie on our list.
- Light candles. Low lights and candles hide a lot of dirt
- Focus on the main areas and guest bath; don’t sweat the rest.
- Baskets and containers will help keep things looking organized and allow you to do a quick toss before guests arrive.
- It makes people feel especially welcomed if you or some of the family is waiting on the porch when they arrive. Likewise, walking them out and waving them off sends the message that you really enjoyed your time.
- Listen intently, ask questions and care about what your guests have to say. If your heart is set on loving the Lord, “out of it will flow rivers of living water”.
One of our menus:
Just for your information:
I estimated this entire meal to cost less than $12. It fed 14 people the first night (lots of children, mind you), 9 people again the next night (our family) and enough left over to send for hubby’s lunch the next day–total mouths fed=24
Menu
Creamy, Cheesy, Chicken Soup
Homemade wheat rolls
Pasta salad
Derby Pie
To make soup:
Pour 4-6 cups of chicken broth into large pot. Drop a peeled, whole onion and turn on medium. In a separate pan, sear 4 boneless/skinless chicken breast in olive oil. Remove from pan and chop finely. Add chicken to broth.
In the same pan, add more oil/butter and saute several cloves of garlic and diced mushrooms (I also added a Tbsp. or so of green chilies). Add those to soup. Add more oil/butter to pan and make a roux (add flour, stir a bit with a fork, then dip some of the chicken broth into flour mixture. I added Marsala wine, 1 cup of sour cream, 1 block of cream cheese, Parmesan cheese, whole cream (you could use milk)–I really don’t measure this, I just add until it’s thick and creamy.)
(Hint: you could add mashed potatoes to thicken and stretch this soup.)
Add white sauce to soup. Season generously with fresh, ground pepper and salt. Simmer for several hours to let flavors meld. I prepare this in the morning, turn off around noon and as long as it stays warm, leave it out until dinner time and reheat just before guests arrive.
Serve with cheddar cheese sprinkled on top–yummy!
Can’t wait to hear your tips and tricks!