Debt, Saving Money and Large Families Don’t Have to Be on Food Stamps

(Added:  This post is in no way intended to make anyone feel bad about accepting government assistance.  It is only an expression of our personal experience and there is no attitude of “looking down” on others.)

“I guarantee you they are on food stamps.  There is NO way to raise that many children without government assistance.”

This was the statement someone made about our family–someone we actually know, though not very well.

Besides the fact that it hurts to be misunderstood, and it hurts to hear false presumptions actually being verbalized to others (I’m used to Internet slander that makes this comment look like a compliment), this one was so off-base it’s almost funny. Our family is not on government assistance nor have we ever been.

I won’t debate government funding in this post.  Our recent tragedy has certainly brought up a lot of discussion about FEMA and when or if it’s ever OK to receive government assistance. I don’t know all the answers.  But we’ve seen the church in action and praise God that we didn’t feel pressured to tap into a grossly depleted government treasury.

But back to the assumption that a large family can’t live without foodstamps…

I’ve written on the subject of family economy quite extensively, and there are many facets that can be discussed.

But the foundational misunderstanding may lie in lifestyle.  Americans are accustomed to believing they have an inalienable right to a certain level of lifestyle.  It’s just expected and so they reach for it no matter the cost.

Children are only as “expensive” as the lifestyle you choose.

Borrowing money for just about everything is considered absolutely necessary now whereas once upon a time it was a blight on one’s character to do so. As a result, many families are laden with heavy debt that enslaves them.

Younger families are starting out in debt and never catching up because the old idea of “working up” to a bigger, nicer home and better things is obsolete.  Now, newlyweds expect to start out with all the comforts their fifty-year-old parents enjoy.

Student loans laden the couple as well, many of whom pay on loans to the tune of 75K for the rest of their married lives.

Family vacations are expected.  Name brand clothing is a must.  Weekly manicures, multiple dinners out, sports and activities for the kids, electronic gadgets for the whole family, new furniture and appliances, bigger houses than we need, costly recreation, the list goes on.

The alternative?  Live more simply, “sacrifice” a few things we think we deserve, save for desired things, and be content with used things (bearing in mind that in our disposable society, used is often “barely used”).

For those wondering specifically how we manage with so many children, we try to follow the above recipe as well as some other things.  We don’t spend money perfectly.  We have made poor financial choices just like everyone else. But consider the following if you are looking to lighten your financial load:

• We don’t buy a car for every child.  We have one, older, used car besides our van and my husband’s truck.

• We go out to eat but not very often.

• We are given so many nice clothes that we hardly ever need to buy them.  We breastfeed our babies and our church gives us “diaper showers”. (Given these two things, our children literally don’t cost anything for the first year of their lives.)

• We stay home a lot which saves gas and the temptation to buy lunch, etc.

• We have one cell phone with a very cheap plan.  (Well, someone did give me a cell phone right after the storm.)

• We don’t own credit cards.

• We don’t watch much T.V. which, believe it or not, greatly reduces the pressure of purchasing due to the bombardment of ads.

• And a biggie:  we avoid Wal-mart as much as possible.

• We use Samaritan’s ministries instead of paying outrageous insurance fees.

To name a few.

We also trust God to provide and this trusting has brought about miraculous provision again and again.

And contrary to what some may assume, we do not feel the least bit deprived.  In fact, we feel especially blessed.

In addition, understanding how a family should really works makes a large family a financial benefit. As I’ve heard Kevin Swanson say, “we are a 7-income family”.  Our 12-year-old son already makes a little money from his website using his gift of art.  Our daughter has done some photography for a wedding or two. We anticipate that as our children get older, we not only have more hands to work in the garden producing food, or cutting firewood, etc., but we have more possibilities of everyone sharing in the family’s economy. Live together, share life together, provide together.

It is my heart’s desire to encourage families to get out of debt, avoid living beyond their means and enjoying the freedom of simplicity and God’s provision.  He has proven Himself so faithful, even in the midst of choices for which we are often persecuted.

I want to pass that hope along to you any way I can.

You can read a bit more about our journey to get out of debt (we are now completely DEBT FREE!), and find practical help in our ebook, Finding Financial Freedom.

Overview of Family Enterprise

An excellent overview of the family economy and the way the Industrial Revolution changed families:

“In early American history (and indeed much of world history), most business enterprises were family businesses with fathers working together with wives and children, where the fathers and mothers not only passed along skills, but also shepherded their children while working for a common purpose: the family economy.  The family could bond as they had common motivation, common compensation and common culture, all inside the intact family jurisdiction, the very center of economic activity.

As the industrial revolution spread across America, men were lured away from the home into the workplace and later on with the rise of public schools, children were also taken out of the home.  And in the last century, women abandoned their homes for the workplace in droves, leaving the majority of American homes dark, empty shells only used in the evenings and on weekends.  This has not only led to the disintegration of the family during the best hours of the day, but has also often led to the permanent death of a family as commonplace workplace romances split marriages and families asunder.”

Read the rest of “The Problem with Employees (Compared to Family Entrepreneurship)”, from New Venture Lab

Raising Entrepreneurs, Raising Leaders

We have been carefully defining “education” and implementing a “life-learning” educational paradigm for a while now.  This year, we’re kicking it up a notch.

Besides our basic 3 R’s, fundamental to any life pursuit, we are studying entrepreneurship as our focal subject.  Using a combination of inspiration (reading stories of other young entrepreneurs, casting a vision for the concept of entrepreneurship, etc.) and instruction, each child will develop his own business (the younger ones will help the older ones), implementing what we are learning as we go.

(Our son began his own business last year, and though he’s already making money from it–he’s got a knack for portrait sketching–we haven’t utilized the opportunity as we should to teach him all the mechanics of a working business. That is changing.)

Regardless of what our children grow up to pursue, the skills and knowledge to be gained from studying and establishing a business are priceless.

In simplified terms, I think of entrepreneurship as simply the ability to see lemonade when I look at lemons.  Giving our children the vision and skill sets to see opportunities and to embrace the challenges of life with optimism is an invaluable part of their education–a crucial life skill many young people are missing.

Are entrepreneurs born or made?  Perhaps both. But I can’t help but think we need to be more vigilant about showing our children the advantages and power of being self-made leaders, showing them that families can thrive working together, showing them that there are other options besides “assembly line education” that often just leaves college graduates thousands of dollars in debt with a job that sucks the life out of them.

Kerry Beck has some thought-provoking things to say:

“The first place to start in raising your students into leadership is to change your own education paradigm….Most of us grew up in a public or private school, which can be likened to a factory. All the students come to the factory or the school. They start in kindergarten and move on to first grade, down the conveyor belt. At each stage of the conveyor belt (or grade level), the student learns the exact same information as everyone else. The students are told what to think.”

“Leadership education ultimately involves the family as a whole. Initially, it takes much effort from a parent because you must be involved in learning and growing yourself. You cannot hand over some workbooks and say, “go for it.” Workbooks merely teach your children what to think, not how to think.”

-Kerry Beck

From Curriculum Connection

Kerry Beck is a homeschool mom and wife! She is the author of Raising Leaders, Not Followers, which encourages parents to train their children to be leaders who lead wisely. She would like to give you a free report about Leadership Education in Homeschool Curriculum

Think Outside the Classroom

Tales of By-Gone Days: Legacy of The Great Depression

I don’t know why I love so much the stories of the past, told with a nostalgia that probably makes the telling far more lovely than the actual event being retold.  But I think there is so much to learn from the grit and fortitude of our great-grandparent’s era, and that we do a terrible disservice to ourselves and our children if we don’t recount their stories.

To be honest, I think our pampered, self-centered lives need a healthy dose of “the way it used to be” from time to time, just to temper us.

I enjoyed this one, a tale remembering the effects of The Great Depression, and I thought you may as well. I plan on asking my husband to read it aloud tonight in its entirety.

“My mother recalls Christmas when an orange in a stocking was a valued gift . One Christmas she received a compact with a mirror in it, something her mother had obtained as a bonus from the Watkins man by buying spices over a period of a year; and that was Christmas. At least there were gifts of some sort in my mother’s family. My father recalls a Christmas when the only gift for eight children was a white-frosted Christmas cake, the baby given the red candy horse that adorned the top; and that was Christmas.

Read all of Frugality:  Legacy of The Great Depression

Crocheted Hats: Would You Settle For the Gist?

Well, I had every intention on sharing my “pattern” from this first hat I made. Unfortunately, when I tried to duplicate it in a larger size, I came up with this:

Equally cute, but not the same.  (This picture tickles me *pink*.)

So I gave up conformity and resolved to emphasize, ahem, the value of the uniqueness of each piece….OK, I don’t know what I’m doing but I do know I’ve now got to crochet all my kids a hat and thankfully they don’t care that every one turns out differently

And there’s this one, even a bit bigger…(Yes, she’s as “sneaky” as she looks and I love every ounce of her.)

I will, however, attempt to give you the general approach I’ve gleaned from other crocheters as I’ve stumbled through making these. Feel free to jump in with your own advice if you are an expert. (An expert means you’ve made more than 3 hats in your lifetime.)

And remember, Kathy @ Teaching Good Things has a great crocheting DVD. (And yes, I will earn a commission if you buy it )

Begin the hat by chaining 4.  Then close the chain with a slip stitch. Begin a pattern of 1 single cr. into first chain, then 2 single cr. into second.  Alternate 1 and 2 stitches into each hole until the circle is as big as you want it before you start decreasing the size of the hat. (If you notice the circle starting to curl instead of lying flat, switch to a 1/1/2 pattern.  (Does that make any sense?)

When you want to begin decreasing the size of the hat, start crocheting 1 single in each hole and continue until the desired size.  If you need a sharper decrease, you can slip stitch into each hole, or single crochet into every other hole.

To make a ruffle, single or double crochet (depending on the size of the ruffle you want) 3-5 stitches into each hole.  If the ruffle isn’t frilly enough, skip a hole.

Now that you are thoroughly confused, I would also suggest you might take a look at some Youtube videos which have a number of instructions and are easy to follow.

There are actually so many different ways to make a hat you may stumble upon your own pattern.  Have fun trying!

My Crocheting Miracle

It should be recorded as a small miracle that I am very close to finishing my first crocheting project! (Turns cartwheel.  Well, would if I weren’t pregnant.)

Mind you, I’ve known how to crochet since I was 6.  I’ll never forget the circle of little old ladies who let me sit among them for hours and patiently taught me and made me unravel my work over and over.  (Where are the ladies like that now?)

But I have a personality conflict with crocheting:  I get big ideas and lots of motivation that burn fast and strong and consequently, OUT before most of them come to fruition.  I usually only complete a project that can be done quickly using materials I have on hand at the second the notion strikes. It’s a terrible trait, really.

The thought of a project that could take days–months?  Makes me break out in hives.

So in spite of many crocheted beginnings, most of them remain just that.

But this!  It’s a tiny afghan (I’m not done with it YET, but I promise, I will finish!) because big ones are totally out of the question. Alexa and I have been working together on it (she has the patience and loves it) and I just forgot how relaxing it is and how delicious it is to create something with your hands.

And then today, a friend steered me in the direction of figuring out how to make the cutesy cap to match!  By the way, they are SO easy and can be made in a couple of hours.  I *might* be able to remember exactly how I did it if you want to know

I owe my renewed inspiration and the flower directions to Attic 24.

And Kathy @ Teaching Good Things has a FABULOUS Learn to Crochet DVD!

I think I’m addicted.