Laughed ‘Til I Cried

This is possibly THE most random, irrelevant thing I’ve ever posted on Generation Cedar.  But it made me laugh so hard it’s too good not to share (thanks, Lori!)  Thought maybe you could use a laugh.

Well, OK, you will either think it’s hilarious or you won’t understand at all why I think it is.  Be sure to keep scrolling through all the posts and click “next” at the bottom–gets funnier and funnier.  There are only 3 or 4 pages.

Catalog Living

Something Worth Knowing

In keeping with the spirit of serious discussion characteristic of this blog, I feel compelled to tell you…

I heart McDonald’s Frappes!

If you haven’t tried one yet, do yourself a favor.  My sweet friend, Olivia, met me one morning with one of the whipped topping-crowned indulgences, and I’ve been hooked ever since.

I probably wouldn’t have blogged about it, BUT, yesterday my husband treated me to one (as in, he romantically asked if I wanted to ride with him in his work truck to carry back a piece of rented machinery and since we live like a gazillion miles from civilization he instinctively stopped to get me my favorite frappe–I heart him too ) and they were on sale for $1.00 until the first of June!  (At least where we live, but I assume it may be across the chain.)  It’s a good thing we have to make a special trip to go to McDonalds.

Warning: they’ll give you the worst ice cream headache of your life.  Actually, I exhibit zero self-control while drinking them and drink so fast that my whole body hurts (have you ever had a “brain freeze” in your back??!!)  I slap my cup down and my husband, barely done with a quarter of his just gives me a bug-eyed, “How do you do that?” I truly can’t help  myself–they are soooo yummy.  And then he must spend the rest of the trip home fending off my attempts to steal another drink of his.  The whole scene is sad.

It doesn’t matter how you pronounce it, by the way…seems no one says it the same way, not even the drive-through attendant.

Christmas Is Not About Peanut Brittle

“This time of year stresses me out.  I try so hard for that not to happen.  I start chanting to myself around the middle of November, “I won’t get stressed at Christmas…I won’t get stressed…”

Maybe it’s just my personality, maybe it’s not.  But the lists–the many different lists–the gift list, the card list, the food list, the dates and traveling–the lost shoes which make me shudder at the thoughts of going anywhere with more than just ourselves (a family our size needs a full day just to get properly dressed)–it all crowds in on my brain and makes me feel like a crazy person, leaving me half in a daze and half in a panic for the last two weeks before Christmas.  I can’t recall words when I’m trying to talk, I forget important things and I keep a stomach ache.  Sometimes I pace the floor knowing I’m supposed to be doing something and unable to recall what it is.

Then I get upset with my condition because I know this is not what Christmas should be. I know it, yet I don’t know how to change it. I LOVE giving gifts, so don’t think me a Scrooge…I just can’t keep the stress at bay.

All that has only slightly to do with the following story…just so you know.

Anyway, I had been planning for weeks to make peanut brittle for the neighbors.  Simple enough.  I thought.  It took me half a day.  And at the end, everything was sticky, we all had sugar highs from trying each batch, and none of the brittle could be given.  It could only barely be eaten, and my children were grateful to try.

A lot went wrong Monday, and at the end of it, I was just plain sad.  I was pouting (I know, I better not pout), I was tired, I went to bed with the same to do list I got up with and I was frustrated.

But by morning, my optimism had returned and I was determined to make the best of the situation.  I decided for sure I would not try to scramble around and make something else or run out to buy gifts–that would add more stress and at all costs, I would avoid that.  I love my neighbors, and I did want to show them that, but none of them would hold the lack of a gift against me.

So shortly after I woke up the next day, I penned these words and copied them onto Christmas stationery to deliver…you may use them too if you ever have a similar experience

Christmas is Not About Peanut Brittle

By Kelly Crawford

‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the stores, it had already started–the shopping sale wars.

While the rich and the poor were accruing more debt, my Thanksgiving turkey hadn’t digested yet!

But I soon joined the ranks of Christmas-rush shoppers, checking my list against all the best offers.

But for my dear neighbors, I had a good plan, I would cook up a treat–something sweet, something grand.

I waited til closer to Christmas to start,“It needs to be fresh”, I thought (’cause I’m smart).

So a few days before, I waltzed to the kitchen, donned my best apron, asked the children to pitch in.

I was giddy and gay, started cooking with glee, (I should have known better than a new recipe).

Measuring carefully–cook just a little, it can’t be that hard to make peanut brittle!

It poured out nicely on the big, shiny pan, so while one batch cooled, I started again.

Five batches later–peanut brittle galore, too excited to care about the mess on the floor.

I said to the children, “Are you ready to taste?” no time for a drum roll, we gobbled in haste!

At first it seemed perfect but then, “something’s wrong”…I realized I’d chewed this stuff far, far too long.

I looked at their faces, they were trying to smile, but the smiles started fading after chewing awhile.

Oh dear, it can’t be!  The brittle had flopped–the chewing had started but it just wouldn’t stop!

I wanted to cry, but that wouldn’t have helped, the kids tried to cheer me–they knew how I felt.

“Well, Mom, you could call it ‘Peanut Taffy’ instead’. I just looked at the mess and kept shaking my head.

And then, like a voice whispered low in my ear, “Christmas is not about brittle, my dear….

It’s about taking time to reflect on the birth of the greatest of all the gifts on the earth.

It’s about giving love to all those around, the miraculous love that can only be found

In a heart where He reigns–a life that’s set free, this is the gift He gave to you and to me.”

So while I have come with no gift in my hands, (I’ll try not to fret about unfulfilled plans)

But ask that our friendship suffice for this year, and the love of Christ Jesus draw us ever more near.

Building Memories and Starbucks…Really Big Things in Life

Didn’t someone say, “It’s the little things in life that matter”?  Well they should have.  “Cause I think it’s the little things in life that matter.  (Except when the big ones do, but I digress.)

Like cafe mochas.  Only those aren’t so little in my world.  A Starbucks cafe mocha is like a really big thing in life. Especially with chocolate.

I sighed and said (kind of at the same time) to my husband last night, “I wish we lived near a Starbucks.”

Because we don’t.  We don’t even live near a telephone pole.

And while I washed dishes I could hear him secretly scrambling around with the coffee  maker.  (Yesssss!)

He made me the best Cafe Mocha ever, Starbucks, decaf, of course, complete with a squirt of chocolate and a dollop of whip creme!

THEN, I begged him suggested he build a fire in the big dining room (adjacent to our living room–long complicated story) and line up a row of chairs covered with pillows and blankets to simulate a couch.  I had already told the kids we’d do that, so there was no turning back convincing the hubby.  (And since we’re patriarchal and all you know, I was in real trouble for not asking him first.)

I’m kidding.

So we watched the fire, the brave ones rode around the dining hall on the rip stick (don’t know what that is?  Wish I didn’t either-oh, but the husband bought it on clearance, you know, “for the kids” *wink*), and it was just a nice little change from normal.  (The flash hides it, but it was dark.)

That’s all it takes for me the kids, every now and then, to build sweet memories.  And those not-so-little memories are the stuff of life.  I’d encourage you to build deliberate memories every now and then.  Ties the heart strings.

Recipe for homemade Cafe Mocha:

Brew really strong coffee.

Fill coffee cup half full with milk.  Preferably rich, creamy, just-milked cow’s milk.  But if not, regular milk will do

Microwave for 30 sec. or so.

Pour coffee in, stir in some chocolate syrup (or you could add some cocoa to the coffee grounds before brewing.)

Top with whip creme and enjoy!

Are Women Born This Way?

My brain needs a break–thought yours could use one too

My Favorite Mark Driscoll Quotes

“There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. some emergent types want to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made pithy zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes.  In Revelations, Jesus is a prize fighter with a tattoo down His leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed.  That is a guy I can worship.  I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up.  I fear some are becoming more cultural than christian, and without a big Jesus who has authority and hates sin as revealed in the bible, we will have less and less Christians, and more and more confused, spiritually self-righteous blogger critics of Christianity.”

“Our God is a little offensive! Most of the people who REALLY liked Him got killed!”

“You have been told that God is a loving, gracious, merciful, kind, compassionate, wonderful, and good sky fairy who runs a day care in the sky and has a bucket of suckers for everyone because we’re all good people. That is a lie… God looks down and says ‘I hate you, you are my enemy, and I will crush you,’ and we say that is deserved, right and just, and then God says ‘Because of Jesus I will love you and forgive you.’ This is a miracle.”

“Here’s the deal: You are a freak! Just be cool with that.”

“You wanna be counter-culture? You wanna be a total rebel? Get a job! You wanna be counter-culture, totally alternative, radical? Be a virgin until you get married…to a person of the opposite gender. And then stay married and pump out some kids and pay your taxes and read the Bible, you freak. You’ll be just totally a rebel.”

“God picked a junior high girl [to be Jesus' mother]. Jesus was raised by a woman who today, we wouldn’t even let her lead a bible study at a high school. But she could raise God.”