Category: humor

My 5-Year Old Thinks She’s Engaged…Thanks, Tom Sawyer

Avi: “Am I engaged?”

Me: “Um, no…what are you talking about?”

Avi: “Well, I kiss and hug a lot.”

Me: “Who do you kiss and hug?”

Avi: “You.”

Me: “Oh” (relieved smile)

Apparently Tom Sawyer has been teaching the kids a thing or two about “getting engaged” (“you say ‘I love you’ then kiss and you’re engaged”).

It made for an interesting family discussion ;-)


But on a more serious note about engagement, I wanted to share this brief heart-felt word from a Dad we met last year–Tommy Waller–whose first son is about to get married…parents, take heart and stay the course.

“This morning Brayden packed up all his belongings and left his home of 23 years. Here we are one week before the wedding and he had to go.

Part of me wanted to somehow stop him. “I’m not ready for this!”, I thought. But why wasn’t I ready? For 23 years Sherri and I prepared Brayden for this day. Those years of preparation were not always perfect, but God had a plan and boy did we learn a lot in that plan. There are people today that think and even say to our face with that familiar half smile …..”You are strange! Tommy, I love you, but you are strange!” Many of those friends were the ones who said, “You can’t raise children today to walk in purity ….to love God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength ….. It’s unthinkable.”


Well, the finish line has come, at least for Brayden, and you know what ……the unthinkable happened. He has never known another woman physically or emotionally. Through the hunger and thirst he has for his Messiah and his surrender to the Holy Spirit the unthinkable was accomplished. Not with some monk like discipline, but with radically overflowing unhindered joy. We never had to once wonder if his relationship with another young lady was in the limits of purity, because he made the decision many years ago to wait for his wife – the one that God would chose for him.”

Here is the trailer to the Waller’s remarkable “journey home”, narrated by none other than Brayden.


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categories humor | Word Warrior | datetime April 2, 2009 9:05 pm | comments Comments (9)

She’s Fighting on My Turf


Pip says, (in her best French accent)…
“So you think you’re going to post again, yes? Well, mademoiselle, let’s see if you are willing to negotiate some terms…”

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categories humor | Word Warrior | datetime February 28, 2009 9:00 pm | comments Comments (4)

Money, Money, Money Money!

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categories humor, political | Word Warrior | datetime February 27, 2009 5:41 pm | comments Comments (6)

Ode to The Virus

4th Victim…

Male. 4 years-old.

Blond hair, blue eyes.

Last seen at 1 a.m. vomiting from the couch while his mother tries to catch it with trash can…repeat every 30 minutes.

Ode to the Virus
I don’t like you,just so you know,
Let’s get that squared away…
You barged in here–unwelcome guest,
Unpacked your bags to stay.
Our laundry is ridiculous–
Blankets, towels and sheets,
You figured out just how to make sure
No one gets to sleep!
Or worse, you tease me with an hour
Make me think we’re done,
And then–you’re favorite time of night–
Vomit hits at one!
Fevers, chills, no appetite,
You’ve got ‘em up your sleeve,
I’ve had about all I can take,
Now pack your bags and leave!

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categories humor, motherhood | Word Warrior | datetime February 26, 2009 10:47 am | comments Comments (5)

My One-of-a-Kind Birthing Plan ;-)

As we continue to lean toward a natural childbirth (details in THIS post), I’ve been fairly concerned with the hospital staff’s cooperation. Not that I’ve ever felt the nurses at our hospital are necessarily against it, but I know that typical hospital protocol is not that friendly to natural child birth.

AND, I’m guessing that opposition to our choices are not going to be well-received while I’m in the throes of labor *SMILE*, so I’ve been thinking about how best to head off any contention from the beginning.

I had a brilliant idea in my sleep (that’s where my best thinking occurs ;-) Instead of my first thoughts of a detailed, firmly-stated birthing plan which might likely be lumped in with all the other “Oh great, one of those again” plans, I decided to write a light-hearted, rhyming plan! Is that not a great idea?

So, here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Our Birth Plan

I’ve given birth to seven babes, and six were here with you,
But now it’s time for number eight and we’re trying something new!

I’ve always been an epi girl, love that needle-man!
But natural is my choice this time, so here’s my birthing plan!

I’ll need your comfort and support, I’m glad to give birth here,
But I prefer no needles or machines to interfere.

(Unless of course, though very rare, a problem does arise,
at which point, if we’re informed, we’ll gladly heed advice.)

We’re eager to embrace this journey as the Lord intends,
and ask for freedom as my body leads us to the end.

The end of the beginning, for this precious girl or boy,
We say a great big “THANK YOU” for sharing in our joy!

P.S. No copyright infringement exists; feel free to use it if you wish!
P.S.S. I reserve the right to change my mind about the natural thing despite my cute plan ;-)

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categories humor, motherhood, pregnancy | Word Warrior | datetime February 20, 2009 6:00 pm | comments Comments (34)

More Consumer Condescension…

Not directly related to the last post about marketing, but still hilarious if you pay attention, are product directions printed on packages. I think mostly they’re there to prevent absurd law suits from people who don’t know coffee is hot.

Here’s one funny example from our favorite comedian:

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categories humor | Word Warrior | datetime February 16, 2009 12:23 pm | comments Comments (8)

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