Raising Boys to Men: Combating A Generation That Won’t Grow Up
Even the secular culture is noticing it: a generation of perpetual boys: men who refuse to grow up.
“…the culture of the boy-men today is less a life stage than a lifestyle…Permissive parenting made children less submissive, and the decline of deference coincided with the rise of consumer and media cultures celebrating the indefinite retention of the tastes and habits of childhood…”From Newsweek’s The Basement Boys, Gary Cross
I was reading an excerpt to the kids about Ben Franklin. And while I suppose he may be an exception among men, it struck me how young his virtue and ambition shined, contrasting him with most young men of today.
At a very young age his zeal for learning, reading, improving his mind and preparing for the future was unparalleled. He copied the writings of great authors and thinkers because he wanted to write and think like them. He would skip meals just to be able to have more time to read. And at the age of 15, he made three goals for himself: 1. Be frugal and do not go into debt 2. Speak ill of no man, even if it’s truth 3. Be honest in all things
I was subconsciously comparing his character with the typical 15-year-old boy of our day. Sadly, the contrast is just as stark when compared with many 25-year-olds. Where is the personal ambition, the drive, the zeal for what is noble and true and productive?
Instead, we have an epidemic of perpetual adolescence who spend inordinate amounts of time playing video games or just playing in general. They live with their parents longer, wait longer to choose a vocation, marry and have children. They live for today and almost disdain the suggestion of preparing for the future or aims at betterment. Worse yet, our society seems to encourage this limbo state of self-indulgence.
Contributing factors.
Why such a contrast in the young men of our day? What has contributed to this epidemic of man-boys?
1. At the top of the list among common theories are effects from the feminist movement.
Women now make up the greater part of the workforce and are more likely to hold college degrees, and therefore make more money. They “arrived” with their independence and now men don’t have to grow up or take responsibility. Prior to this era, men answered the innate call within them to “protect and provide”. But women have proven themselves without a need for provider and protector so men have gladly defaulted to a life of video games and adolescence.
“…the large-scale entry of women into the workforce made many men feel marginalized, especially when men were simultaneously bombarded by new parenting theories, which cast fathers as their children’s pals…My generation’s obsession with youth and its memories, stands out in the history of human vanity.” From Newsweek’s The Basement Boys, Gary Cross
2. A national (global?) effort to undermine traditional marriage and family.
“Today’s prime-time television,” the Parents Television Council concludes, “seems to be actively seeking to undermine marriage by consistently painting it in a negative light.” From Newsweek’s Why I am Leaving Guyland
It’s not only en vogue to postpone marriage and family, (where once it was an early-sought goal), but those early to the alter are destined for scorn. Family demands responsibility so, which came first? The disdain for family to avoid responsibility, or the disdain for responsibility, thus avoiding family?
Besides that, “family” insinuates “Mom, Dad and children”. And well, you know, since this isn’t the norm for families anymore, we don’t want to offend, so we do away with the standard and create a new one. Only to do that successfully, we have to vilify the old one. If the traditional family is no longer something to aspire to, why bother?
3. Spoiling parents.
A post-depression era generation who had to work for what they had, which wasn’t much, determined to “give their children something better” ended up giving them something worse. A perpetual trend of parents doting on children, buying them all they needed to compete with their peers bred several generations of spoiled, “entitled” youth.
Prosperity breeds apathy. Do the math. Need I say more?
The phenomena are deep and varied. There isn’t one factor but many. But at the end of the day, we can trace them all back to a departure from the wisdom of God. That’s the one factor we can safely peg.
Our job.
We need men. And there’s hope…there is a new generation looking back to the wisdom of God, seeing their children as catalysts of change through the gospel of Christ. Ready and willing to do the hard work of raising not just mediocre humans who can survive life, but contenders for the faith, men of valor and virtue, men who have vision and embrace manhood.
This is the privilege we are given as parents to reconstruct our civilization. We don’t have to settle for what is; we can change it and glory in what will be!
“Men, you are to be creators and cultivators. God is a creator and a cultivator and you were made to image him. Create a family and cultivate your wife and children. Create a ministry and cultivate other people. Create a business and cultivate it. Be a giver, not a taker, a producer and not just a consumer.” From The Washington Post, Mark Driscoll “The World if Filled With Boys Who Can Shave“
family/parenting, Mark Driscoll | Word Warrior | 
March 8, 2011 11:27 pm | 
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