Anyway Love
Gary Thomas’ article “Anyway Love” tells of a woman whose husband had continually disappointed her with his insensitivity. Even after she gave him books about “how to love your wife” he didn’t change.
Gary recounts what she said:
“I’ve realized this is never going to change,” she confessed. “But I love him anyway.”
Then Gary’s response:
“That last statement of Meg’s, “but I love him anyway,” is one of the most profound theological statements on marriage I’ve ever heard. Most of us base love on because, not on anyway. I love you because you’re good to me. I love you because you’re kind, because you’re considerate, because you keep the romance alive.”
He pointed to Jesus’ words about what makes a child of God different from one who is not. How piercing this thought was to me! I have read this verse numerous times, and I’ve never really thought about it in the context of marriage. There is no “credit” for loving a spouse because they love us. We only get credit when we “love anyway” a spouse who doesn’t deserve it! Yes, unfortunately, there are times when a spouse becomes an “enemy”. And even then, we are instructed how to live:
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ do that….But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:32-36
I thought of the marriage of my friend, each blaming the other for failed hopes and unfulfilled responsibilities. “I can’t love him because he doesn’t _____.” And so they’re walking away, unwilling to “love anyway”.
Christians have been called to many hard things through history. Perhaps even harder than a “one-time choice of martyrdom” is the choice to do hard things day in and day out.
And yet, what difference it would make in our marriages…what difference it would make as a living picture of Christ’s love for us. And if we should even suffer? Can we believe that it’s worthy of rejoicing if we suffer for doing what is right?













