Reasons I Don’t Want to Have a Million Children

Interview between Holly Elliff and Nancy Leigh Demoss

Holly:

“And I remember vividly the day he (husband) came out of his study and said, ‘God has just given me the neatest mental picture of someday sitting on my front porch and looking out and seeing scores of children out there. And we have every temperament type represented. And we have every spiritual gift represented. And our children know how to relate to everybody in the world because they lived with all different types of people.’

And he had this wonderful vision of what it would be like and I immediately said to him, ‘Well, that’s very easy for you to say because I’m the one wearing the stretch pants for the next 20 years. And I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to go there.’ ”

And I really did not want to go there. It was a very frightening thing to me to think of taking my hands off that control in my life. And it took me about six months to work through what I believed the Bible said about that whole issue. And I became an avid student of God’s Word and just began to search the Scriptures for every reference to children, to children as a blessing, to God’s sovereignty in that area as far as opening and closing the womb and looking, honestly, for a way to avoid releasing that area in my life because my preference at that point was not to relinquish that area to the Lord.

As I did that, over and over and over, I found the same things: that God was the Creator of life, that God knew who He wanted to create, He knew what we were going to look like, He had a plan for every person–that it was all His business. It was not what I wanted to find in the Scripture, but that’s what I kept encountering. And I remember vividly one night sitting down at my kitchen table with a legal pad and a sharp pencil and making a list. And at the top of the list I wrote, “Reasons I Don’t Want To Have A Million Children.” And I began to make a list of all the objections I had to what I was seeing in God’s Word.

Everything I had on the list was rooted in selfishness. It came down to whether or not I was better at making decisions than God was. And it suddenly became very clear to me that this was a heart issue, at least in my life. It was a matter of me choosing, just like I said…God was Lord in every other aspect of my life.

We prayed through what to do with our money, we prayed through where we were to pastor. When we bought a car, it was a huge issue that we prayed about and trusted God to give us direction. But in this area it was as if we had said, ‘This area is ours to determine and we will make this decision.’ And for the very first time I was confronted with the fact that I had never really said to the Lord, ‘What is Your will?’ ”

Nancy responds:

“And really, again, we’re saying this is the fundamental issue of life, Is Jesus Lord of every area of my life? And I like the way you made that so practical because you said, ‘We went to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, what do you want us to do in this area of our lives?‘ And the fact is, you and I are not totally free until we have released ourselves, our lives, our future, our marital status, our childbearing, every aspect of our lives fully to the control of Jesus Christ. And somehow, when we come under His control, then we find that we really are free.

I *heart* Babies

Photograph courtesy of Bria Crawford

Loving Them Big in Small Ways

A tiny gesture…

• Total time:  2 minutes

• Total cost:  $1.72

• Total impact:  immeasurable

Just a note on each pillow with a box of juice and a packet of hot chocolate mix.  It’s true, juice is a treat, especially when it’s in a box, and they are grateful.

But their faces–bright and smiling and heaping “thank yous” for this small thing.

I withdraw often from their “love accounts”.  A word too harsh, an expectation too high.

But I love them so much.  Remember to deposit!

The notes were fiercely true:

“I love being with you every day.”…..”Your smile makes my days happier.”….”You are a gift from God.”

Kyla carried hers around, admiring her “hot chochet”, showing Daddy proudly when he stopped in. 

“I wike juice, Mommy”.

“I like you, Kyla.”

Kinder words were spoken for the morning.  Tender hugs exchanged among siblings.

Could I remember to drop love more often into these little hearts?  A word here, a smile there, and a hug always.

Is it really that hard?

We smiled and drank our juice boxes together at lunch.  They will remember, if only for the day, that there is at least one person in the world who is thrilled they were born.

Mom & Children: A Management Team

“…though I love being a mom, I wouldn’t want to pretend that it’s dreamy all the time. This is hard work! However, it is not as hard as some perceive it when we fully understand the workings of a home.”

Read the rest…

Can God Use Me?

Joseph’s brothers betrayed him because of jealousy and threw him into a pit to die.  Then they decided to sell him as a slave.

That wasn’t fair.

As a slave, Joseph obeyed God and trusted Him.  He did not become bitter.  He refused to be a victim.

As a slave, in the very act of honor, Joseph’s master wrongly accused him, did not give him a chance to explain himself, and threw him into a dungeon.

For two years.

That wasn’t fair.

As a prisoner, Joseph obeyed God and trusted Him.  He did not become bitter.  He refused to be a victim.

Joseph was released from the dungeon ONLY when his master needed something from him (a dream interpretation) and received no apology.

That wasn’t fair. Read more »

Gratitude…At Any Cost

(From a woman who woke up with both arms and legs amputated after contracting the flesh-eating bacteria, Strep A, after giving birth):

“I’m so grateful….I’m so grateful.”

It starts right here with the “Queen of Blame”.  I’m set like flint on a mission to root out attitudes of ungratefulness, victimization and blaming in myself and in my children.

I won’t raise children who grow up to sue McDonald’s over spilled coffee.  Not when there are people who can’t even afford to buy coffee.

I won’t raise children who complain because our swimming plans got canceled when there are children who are just grateful they made it through another round of chemo.

I won’t raise children who have a pity party because it’s too hot to weed the garden when there are children who would do anything for their next meal.

And I won’t be that woman anymore. I have complained and whined and thrown pity parties too.  I have griped about “how hard it is to clean these tile floors” when there’s a woman, somewhere, sweeping her dirt ones….probably smiling.

I’ve complained that my dish washer has been broken for forever, but haven’t said much about the water I take for granted running through the spigot every time I want it to, here, in my air-conditioned kitchen.

I’ve complained (if only silently) that my husband doesn’t do this or that, when I have a hard-working, faithful, tender, gracious man that lives every minute of his life for us.

We have a hard time even making a list of things for which we are thankful because we’ve never been without them.  We assume the luxuries in our lives are entitlements.

And we are surrounded (just listen!) by a culture that whines, blames and screams “entitled” while there are suffering people everywhere who raise their eyes at the end of the day and praise God for breath.

I won’t join them and I won’t raise children who join them.

So many things have pressed in on my heart lately about the immeasurable quality of gratitude.  It continues to be one of life’s ironies:  the more we have, the more we are ungrateful.

No matter what trials the Lord takes you through, may I encourage you that a grateful spirit will sustain you more than anything else.