“God’s Curriculum”…If You Don’t Teach Them Anything Else!

When I heard Kevin Swanson say, “God has given us a curriculum…it’s Proverbs”, my spirit resonated with that seemingly simplistic statement. That doesn’t mean we need to toss our math and grammar books, it means if we are teaching math and grammar without a thorough teaching of the Proverbs, we are not giving them the tools they need to be truly successful.

That’s because Proverbs is the book of wisdom–the “secret” to life and whether our children will do well at what they put their hand to or not. “Wisdom! Get wisdom!” the Proverbs screams. Why would we clamor to get our academic ducks in a row but neglect this principal thing?

Swanson has made it easy to teach through the book of wisdom with his 3-book series, the Proverbs Study Guide.

Our family uses this in our devotion time, but it could easily be implemented during school as well. I love the simple, short yet thorough explanations Kevin gives of each verse of Proverbs. He ends the lesson with questions for discussion, as important as the lesson itself.

Containing everything from how to handle finances to political and social ethics, we simply cannot neglect to teach our children these most essential life lessons from the Word of God.

The Book of Proverbs Study Series comes highly recommended from this family!

Busy Moms “Get Real” Series, Part 3: When Technology Hurts

I am astounded by the irony of technology; the advantages are usually proportionate to the harm done to the people for which they were made.

Improving at break-neck speed, technology has enriched our lives in so many ways. We could start with electricity or the washing machine, but recent advancements like instant, fingertip-access to the globe has brought convenience and possibilities never imagined before.

On a personal level, internet access is highly beneficial to our family. It has brought new dimensions and possibilities to homeschooling where the pioneers had little more than paper and pencil with which to work. It is entirely possible to access a rich education for free, if one so desires.

It also allows us home-business opportunities, given the world-wide market now at our fingertips, where once a business was limited to the short arm of its local community.

Recipes, medical advice, help diagnosing ailments, “how-to” anything, sharing our lives with friends and relatives across the world…all in seconds. “Google it” is a household term. Our lives have been revolutionized by the Internet.

But the technology brings a host of trouble with it.

I remember reading a story to my children about the debut of the telephone in homes. The father in the story was livid at the idea that he was expected to have a device through which people could intrude on his personal, family time at any hour of the day. How far we’ve come.

For most, there is no place, no time that affords privacy, free from at least the possibility of interruption, the pressure of answering or texting. If a person CAN be reached, we expect them to answer us–without waiting.

And it’s not just our time that is bombarded. Facebook–ah, where do we begin? It’s addictive because we are all voyeurs at heart . Peering into the lives of other people without being seen–doesn’t that draw us?

And we’re narcissists too. Why else would we “exhale” in public and then check every few minutes to see how many people “like” it?

We build fake farms, plants fake gardens and maintain fake relationships until we have little time for anything “real”.

What about information overload? And what does it do to us, emotionally, now that we inadvertently share the grief and strains of our “friends of friends of friends” in addition to our own real life?

Blogging, tweeting, sharing, surfing…

Then there’s texting, perhaps the most intrusive of all technology. It physically endangers drivers, pedestrians, and in general, leaves masses of people only barely tuned in to the world around them. In a culture where strained relationships are already a monumental problem, texting might be the nail in the coffin.

It is common for every member of the house to own a phone with texting capabilities. It is common to see a family sharing dinner, oblivious to each other, oblivious, even to the food they are supposed to be savoring, having lost all concept of the relaxing, connecting potential of a shared meal.

There are so many levels of harm it would take a book to develop the issues. No time for thinking, creating, imagining, dreaming, problem-solving–the constant connection to some device robs us of fundamental living!

There is advantage in moderation, in carefulness, in deliberate use and in a whopping measure of self-control.

But it’s time to recognize the danger, the subtlety, and refuse to allow ruin to come to our families just because it has become “normal”. It’s time to create protective boundaries around our relationships and fight with vengeance, anything that threatens to harm them. It’s time to look up, into the faces of those we love and remember that our lives will be more enriched by that than by the latest Facebook status.

I’m speaking to me, to you, to all of us.

A family in tact, building healthy bonds, spending time sharing their lives through conversation and focused attention is now in the minority.

Will you be one?

What We Teach Our Children (or not) Through Family Economy

Face it: we live in a society where an “entitlement mentality” is growing all the time. More and more, money seems to be falling from the sky to a generation who really doesn’t know there is no such thing as “free”. Someone I know recently made this comment: “I love free insurance…no medical bills, yay!”. She really does think it’s free. Obama’s health plan feeds the notion that “we all deserve health care”. It would be nice, certainly. But it’s not an inalienable right.

I’ll never forget hearing one of the young men (single, strong, able, employed) who once lived with my parents in an assisted living-type ministry upon a return visit: “Man, Obama has to do something…I’ve got bills to pay.” Yes, this is the generation we have raised.

And a recent proposal by the President will work wonders to further state-dependency rates: it mandates that in a school where 40% or more of the students qualify for free breakfasts and lunches, every student will be given free breakfasts and lunches. Why? To eliminate the stigma. Like manna from heaven…free for all. Don’t get me started on “eliminating stigmas”.

“We desperately need to teach our children, by real life experiences, the basic connections between earning and spending money, and trading effort for income or benefits.”

We are witnessing a generation who has essentially transferred what they were taught in their childhood to their adulthood expectations. If I spend my childhood being given everything I want, all my favorite clothes, movies, electronic devices and sports equipment, (because everyone else does and I may be stigmatized if I don’t), if I get a new car when I turn sixteen, insurance paid, and gas money to putter around, if my mother does all the housework and cooks all the meals and my father makes all the money to pay all the bills while I spend most of my time having fun and receiving all that I want with little exchange of effort, I will likely grow up with an entitlement mentality.

Family economy is so misunderstood and underrated in the typical American home. Because we love our children, it *feels* like giving them everything they want is a good thing. And while I love to give my children gifts as much as the next parent, we need to distinguish between gift-giving and a daily practice of proper economy.

We desperately need to teach our children, by real life experiences, the basic connections between earning and spending money, and trading effort for income or benefits. The value of work can only be felt by the opportunity to spend or save its pay. The value of things can only be appreciated if there is some investment made. Likewise, the motivation to work can only be felt by a lack of the desired thing.

Obviously, there is balance in teaching this to children. But here our some ideas we hold about family economy:

• EVERYONE is an important part of the family and that belief needs to play out tangibly. ”Teamwork” is verbalized; each member knows his presence is treasured and needed.

• Little ones learn to help with basic chores; older ones grow into age-appropriate responsibilities (looking different in every home). We need to be deliberate in affirming this idea.

• Think in terms of “multiple-income family”. This is something I’ve been mulling over. When we marry, we are one, and therefore our income is one. We have one account and all expenses/needs/wants are paid out of it with no distinction about who made what. What about our children? Should money they make go into this “family pool”? And if so, how do we teach them the distinctions between a socialist attitude (where money is forcibly taken from one and given to another) and a “family-is-one” economy? Just thinking out loud on this one. Would love your thoughts. I love what Kevin Swanson says: “We’re a seven-income family”. Bottom line is, we all work and we all reap the rewards.

• We all participate in making/saving money or exchanging work for food and shelter. Not to be overly simplistic, but a child needs to understand that while Dad may earn the money to buy food and Mom may cook it, he contributes in some way to the process (taking care of his chore so Dad doesn’t have to). Or though Dad pays the power bill, we are all responsible to use energy wisely. If a child disregards his job of conserving, charging a fee or requiring extra chores can help him see the importance; to learn that “nothing is free”.

• A word about “housework”: I have seen so many families instill awful habits in their children by treating Mom like a maid. My job is to manage my home. That includes work but doesn’t exclude other members from sharing that work. It’s an enterprise. We all work, we all eat, we all glean the benefits from the joint effort of family. We all have clean clothes because we all play a part in the laundry. We enjoy a clean home because we all do our part to keep it that way. Mind you, this requires constant reminding and training, but the outcome is worth it.

• Encouraging productivity…going through our years of being laden with debt and scraping to make ends meet (and many months the ends did NOT meet), was an invaluable time of learning. We were forced into a new level of creativity and my children learned more than ever the value of saving a dollar. Now they all seem to share a love of making gifts, making and selling crafts and pursing business opportunities. From the pencil-sketched portrait business my son keeps busy at to my 9-year-old upcycling enthusiast, they all know that each gift they make and the money they earn builds our family economy and they delight to know that God can use their talents in a variety of ways.

Reading over this post seems a bit like I’m stating the obvious. It seems only natural that parents understand the importance of helping their children make these vital life connections. But I’m afraid our super-busy lives and hyper-stimulated minds often just forget these basic concepts that once ran naturally through the course of life. Let’s allow God’s truth and common sense to guide our parenting instead of the pressure of popular opinion.

Living for Him Looks Crazy

My brother and his wife have been encouraged by a family they recently met and I just had to share this fantastic post from their site. Read it if you want to be encouraged to press on for Him in a world that says to “live for you”. A powerful and convicting look at adoption and a challenge to save our lives by losing them.

We Didn’t Get the Memo

“We have come to the conclusion that we will only truly “retire” when we meet Jesus face to face. Everything in between, we pray, brings honor and glory to the king of Kings and Lord of Lords…the only true living God…maker of heaven and earth….the one who we want the whole world to know as their Miracle-working, Mountain-moving, Awe-inspiring, Gasp-giving God….and so we press on with more determination than ever….we will give our lives away as best we know how, always praying that God breaks our hearts with the things that break His and asking Him to continue to get rid of any traces of selfishness in our hearts.”

A Place Called Simplicity

Do You Like Your Children?

…..”One of the reasons for not enjoying one’s children is the failure to teach them simple obedience and respect. I’ve seen children who haven’t been taught respect for their parents–I wouldn’t want to spend the day with them either. Raising obedient children is almost a lost art…and yet, it is actually quite simple! Well, the concept is simple. The tough part is making the commitment to spend the time and energy required to carry out these “simple” principles.”…..

Join me at Raising Homemakers to read the rest of “Do You Like Your Children?”

Understanding Our Purpose as a Family

“The typical vision of family in the church is so anemic that we think we’re doing well if we can keep a husband and wife together while they raise a child or two. We think if we succeed in doing this, we ought to win a trophy. A generation ago…they had a multigenerational view, whereas now we’re doing all we can simply to save the nuclear family.” -R.C. Sproul, Jr.

The family, Sproul says, is not only under attack by society, but because Christians have “drunk so deeply from the wells of the world”, we are often accomplices in its destruction. We look at family as a means of happiness and enrichment–a self-fulfilling institution. We want our children to “find their way in the world”. This is where we must be very careful to think biblically…while family can be enriching and fulfilling it is not our end to seek those things. It is our purpose, as a Christian family, Sproul says, to wage war.

Thinking biblically about family changes the way we live out our lives. From the story of Adam and Eve to the picture of Christ’s finishing work for His bride, the Bible, as Sproul says, is “one book, and that one book is a family portrait”. And the propelling charge for our families, generation upon generation, is to wage war against the enemies of Christ by living as good soldiers in a conquest for the Kingdom.

This conquest binds us together–husbands and wives and children. We are not to function as people sharing living space while pursing our own, temporal goals. If we belong to Christ, our lives–our time, energies and pursuits belong to Him as well. We have a heavenly mission while we live here on earth. In all things we celebrate the glory of Him who made us. In all things (the diapers, the dishes, the errands, the work) we make visible the invisible reign of the Lord Jesus.

That is what we are made for.

“May He fill His church with families filled with a single passion: to seek first the Kingdom of His dear Son.”

From Bound for Glory: God’s Promise for Your Family by R.C. Sproul, Jr.