Worldview of Children: Our View Does Change the World

Fertility is a tricky thing…most consider it a private issue with little consequence except how it will affect their own family vacations (unless you encounter a family with more than three children, and then you’re allowed to prod into their sex lives …but I digress).

However, it is my particular opinion that NOTHING changed our culture and the face of Christianity as much as our changed worldview of children. NOTHING. (Try your mind at the “connect-the-dots” related to our view of children. I won’t get to it in this post; perhaps another day.)

And for that reason, I also believe it is our urgent duty to challenge each other, in the body of Christ, to consider our worldview here.

Your worldview shapes every decision you make. Everyone has a worldview, whether consciously or not. If you don’t deliberately form your worldview around the principles and laws of God’s Word, you will take the default view of the culture and that will shape your life choices. For a Christian, that is very serious. “Do not love the world or anything in the world”.

A worldview refers to the framework of ideas and beliefs through which we interpret the world and interact with it.  A worldview describes a consistent (to a varying degree) and integral sense of existence and provides a framework for generating, sustaining, and applying knowledge. (From Wikipedia)

Regarding children, the fundamental questions must be answered for us to form a correct worldview. Who creates life? What is their purpose?  What is our purpose?

And we begin to unravel that...that our purpose here, according to Jesus, is DYING daily, leading those whom the Lord has given us to Life, serving and teaching them to serve–the essence of bringing a lost world to know Christ…then our worldview will get turned upside down and it will change everything!

Think about how little our culture’s punch list for life has to do with the few things with which we are charged from Scripture? I would even challenge you to stop here, and make a list with two columns. “What society expects of me and my children” and “What the Lord has asked of me and my children”.

We ask the wrong questions when we get tangled in things like, “Is it right or wrong for a Christian to use birth control?”

That question can have important implications in sorting through a biblical view of children, but if often leads to wrangling over words.

The important thing is simply our starting place. When our thoughts chase after His thoughts (“Your thoughts are not my thoughts, says the Lord…”), we allow Him to guide our choices instead of assuming the status quo.

We start with the job we were given on this earth…”to wash feet”, essentially. Doesn’t that encompass nearly everything Jesus commanded?

And we work our way from there.

Children are given to us as gifts, as tools, as a heritage, as added numbers to His church, and as a means by which we are changed, challenged and formed more into the Lord’s image. Children are His people, showing us the keys to Heaven (“unless you become like a little child…”) He knows. Christians cannot make light of turning fertility on and off like a faucet. Children are not for us. They are not for displaying and showcasing. They are His “to do and to will of His good pleasure”. May we be honored to serve as vessels, ushering them into the world and then immersing them in His love.

Of Lots of Children on Valentine’s Day–Not What I Expected

At the close of a sweet day, I just sit quietly, glance around the room at my different children, as my husband and I chat about tomorrow’s plans.

I saw a family picture earlier today. The kids were all so much younger, but it seemed so short a time since the picture was taken. That reality. That time is passing quickly, their baby faces growing more mature and very soon, they will be men and women. Ah! It stings a little.

When I only had two children, I never dreamed it would be like this to have nine. To keep loving so deeply. I guess I thought they’d all run together, that the “thrill” of it would weaken with numbers, and “too many children” would just be a chore.

I had no idea how wrong I was. I had no idea the thrill each one would give me–not just the day they were born, but every day. I still get giddy over the baby testing out his first sounds, like a new mother.

I can’t stop staring at their faces, they’re so beautiful to me. Oh we have days when I’m mad at them and they frustrate me; I’m not talking about rainbows and marshmallow days, no, we have real days like you do. But I see the gift in them. Every one of them.

And I am in awe of this realization tonight at the close of Valentine’s Day: God has given us these children as physical reminders and rewards of our marriage-love. And they help hold us together as we see that love–His love–reflected in each face, each personality, each embrace.

Most people think we just have too many children from some careless lifestyle or extreme religion. I think we have just the right number because it’s the number He has given us and He doesn’t count like we do.

To Him, they are people, not numbers–souls, babies becoming men and women, each another glory-reflection.

Jax’s Birth Story

When you are 19 days overdue with your ninth baby, having had contractions on and off for weeks, it’s hard to know (or maybe just to believe) when you are finally in labor.  But after intense prayer on Sunday, at around 2 am, those unmistakable contractions began and remained, confirming that I would not, after all, remain pregnant for the rest of my life.

Aaron and I, so excited to be facing “the day”, got up, brewed coffee and red raspberry tea and read some Psalms together.

After about five hours, we decided to head to the hospital, just because the contractions were getting much stronger, though still around 6 minutes apart.

And as my history goes, once in the car, they spread out again. But once we arrived at the hospital and I started walking, they resumed.

My brother and his wife had come to visit from CO, thinking by the first of April I would have recovered from having my baby Instead, they rode with us to the hospital and got to share Jax’s entrance with us!

My two aunts had also come with my mother (he was so anticipated!) so we had quite a room full of people for a little while.

I had already decided that I wanted an epidural, but I wanted it later in labor so as not to risk stalling things.  I was 5 cm and contractions getting stronger when I arrived at the hospital and I labored until I was 8 cm and then asked for the epi.

The doctor asked me if he could break my water because of the high risk of meconium since I was so overdue.  I allowed it because that was a concern of mine too.  All was clear.

The epi only worked on one side, so I later got a boost.  The boost was wonderful except that when they asked me to push I started laughing….”I can’t push.”  So I performed what I could only tell was the act of squeezing my eyes shut really tight, but somehow I was pushing just fine.

Three pushes and that 9 lb. 12 oz boy was out!

Witnesses to the birth all agreed that after my natural birth with Ellia I was much “happier” and was able to enjoy the baby more this time right after he was born.  I realize that is probably not the norm, and I want to emphasize that I hold natural birth in high regard, it just wasn’t for me this time.

He was wide awake and bright eyed when they laid him on my chest and he even attempted to lift his head.  I was so impressed with the nurses that assisted me in that instead of insisting he lay under the warmer, they immediately brought him after his stats and told me to warm him “skin on skin”. The staff were very accommodating to all our requests and we did not encounter any opposition at all…an answer to prayer.

It was about an hour after his birth that I began to feel faint and told the nurse. She laid my bed down and I drank some Sprite.  It didn’t help. At this point they were bathing the baby and everyone else was just sort of talking and then I waved to get my mom’s attention….“I’m fainting and I just wanted y’all to know”.

She told the nurses and then they came to check my blood pressure when they found it had dropped to 60/30.  She didn’t announce that out loud, she just said, “OK, let me go get some other nurses.”

Two other nurses came in and the three of them began to massage pulverize my belly.  I would have thought the epidural would prevent me from feeling that but hands down, that procedure was worse than any labor pains I had that day.  It was at that point that I heard one whisper what my blood pressure was.

Aaron had ducked behind a curtain by then because he was getting sick, and my mom stood with me holding my hand.  It was a feeling of drifting away and I was so afraid I was not coming back.  I was trying to find the words/energy/concentration to call to Aaron and I couldn’t.  I remember praying…”Lord, please let them save me…Lord, if I die, please comfort my children….” I whispered once to my Mom, “I don’t want to go”. (My mom is still recovering )

Perhaps I wasn’t in quite as much danger as I felt, or at least not yet, but the feeling was all the same.  They finally got my blood pressure back up and I returned to a normal state of consciousness.

Without going into gory detail, apparently there was a great deal of “matter” that needed to be expelled that was preventing the cervix from “clamping down”.  Once that was solved, the bleeding stopped.

My friend teased me that since I didn’t go natural, I needed some drama, so there ya go.

All in all, a pretty easy and beautiful delivery.  Recovery has been quite different, probably a combination of the intense massage and the big baby, but I’ve got a fabulous servant-hearted husband and children who make it easy to rest.

The Lord has been so gracious, teaching me to wait on Him to trust in Him and to depend on Him when I can do nothing.  I praise Him with all my heart for showing forth His glory in every detail of this pregnancy and delivery, for bringing forth friends like you as well as in the flesh who have poured out love and encouragement.

I can’t say enough about my church family who is now showering us with food after our friend stayed for weeks and helped with the meals, cleaning and children.  The Body has truly come alive for us and revealed God’s heart in a way we will never forget.

Thank You!

Just wanted to send a quick note out to say “thank you” for all your sweet well-wishes and thoughts on the birth of our son, Jax.  I have savored each one.

(Thank you, Kathy, for the beautiful blanket–I think it becomes him!)

The birth went very well (I may share more details a little later if anyone cares to hear), though about an hour later, I began to hemorrhage and for the first time ever, I thought I was dying.  My blood pressure dropped to 60/30 and I felt like I was fading away…very scary.  So because of the intense uterine massage I had to have (by 3 nurses at one time), I am extremely sore and experiencing unusual levels of pain compared to my typical deliveries. But we are rejoicing that the Lord kept me here and I’m so thankful to be on this side of delivery, cuddling this sweet little (“little” being a relative term ) boy in my arms.

I cannot begin to thank you all for your prayers, love and concern you have expressed to me through these last few weeks.  There were days when the knowledge of your prayers were all-sustaining as I battled with fear and a host of other challenges, waiting on this little fellow to arrive.  I am so grateful for you all.

As a fun side note, throughout my pregnancy my husband joked about “how fun it would be to have a male version of Mallie”.  Take a look at these photos:

Left picture is Mallie…

Jax is on the right!

Pictures of Jax!

Jax Titus Crawford

“Powerful Warrior, Defender”

9 pounds 12 ounces

21 1/2 inches

Updates by Kathy

11:30 Update

Kelly is at 8cm, won’t be much longer now. She is doing great!

She won’t let me post a picture. ;o) lol…

~Kathy