A New Kind of Church

“Do you see that the church is completely dependent on what is taught in the homes of its people? Likewise the civil society is also dependent on it. What has happened over the last 50 years is that self-discipline is no longer being taught in the home, either because parents are not present or because they have chosen not to take the difficult task of parenting seriously enough.”

“A New Kind of Church” by Eric Rauch points out the error in Brian McClaren’s book, A New Kind of Christianity and poignantly describes the proper way we must think about the church if we desire to see its effectual power around us:

It starts in the home!

“Remember that God ordained three separate and distinct realms of government…The most basic of all of these realms is, of course, the family, and basic to the proper operation of the family is the practice of self-government. No family, church, or society will exist long with members that are not self-governed (self-disciplined).”

Training Children To Sit in Church

I’ve probably posted on this topic before, but I received another email asking for tips on teaching children to sit in church, and I assume that email represents many others who haven’t asked.

As I’ve said, we go to a family-integrated church where it is the norm for families to sit together, so it helps that the children serve as peer influences on each other.  “Everyone else is doing it.”

But here are some things we’ve done, some of which were given to me by older women:

After we pass the nursing stage (while nursing, I usually try to go back in after feeding, though sometimes I stay if baby is sleeping as we have a speaker in the cry room), we have the smallest ones sit on mine or my husband’s lap.  Gentle, whispering reminders serve to explain what’s expected (Shhh…we’re praying.  Be still…)

Someone mentioned in yesterday’s thread that the real training takes place at home, and I believe that to be true.  If the children are basically obedient and obey voice commands, church training follows fairly easily.

However, between the ages of 12 mo. and 2 years the training can be the most intense.  This is where a child, after proper voice commands, would be taken out for disipline.  The important thing is to bring him right back in.  If it persists, there would be a limit to the number of times I would take a child out for the sake of disruption, but I would certainly make a note of the areas of training lacking at home in this case and try to practice.  Sometimes a squeeze on the leg and a low whisper is all you need.  By the way, in most cases, my husband takes a child out.

If you take a disruptive child out to let him play, I believe it slows down and even hinders the process.  You’re only training him to know that misbehavior has a reward.

(With all that said, if this is a new thing, give yourself, and your child some grace.  Take it slow.  Set timed goals (half the service) and reward for meeting those.  Work on sitting still at home while someone reads.  Make sure they’ve gotten plenty of sleep, and consider whether he doesn’t feel well.  Don’t get discouraged!)

Another tip I got from my friend:

If you are struggling with a child, take him just outside the service–maybe in the foyer–with a chair facing the sanctuary.  Sit in that chair and pay attention as you would if you were in the service.  Use the same voice commands and discipline as before.  This way, it is less disruptive, the child is practicing, and you are maintaining your expectations and not just taking him out to “give up”.

Some families give their young children special books or drawing pads just for church.  I also think it’s important to talk about expectations and the meaning of worship before you go in.  It’s an excellent way to emphasize the reverence with which we are to approach the place of worship.

Stay tuned for some challenging thoughts from others on family worship.

The Church That Turns Visitors Away

A friend of mine brought up a very thought-provoking observation (thank you Mr. Schultz!):

Ask most people how they measure the success of their church and “growth” is almost always the first answer.  We generally acknowledge that a church “bursting at the seams” is doing well, while a church whose members are dwindling is looked upon as a sad, unfortunate plight.

And while there is a whole different discussion about the inaccuracy of our measurement of Kingdom growth (Jesus’ entire earthly ministry solicited less than 100 followers) as it relates to numbers, I find it entirely ironic and downright ignorant on our part that church growth is celebrated while family growth (where Christians should assume that added members will be discipled and brought up in the faith) is frowned upon and even discouraged.

Do we not ever think about our logic? Why can’t we at least be consistent?

What would you say (would you be bold enough to say anything) if when you arrived at church Sunday with a visitor, standing at the door is your pastor.

“I’m so sorry, she can’t come in.”

“Excuse me?” You ask. 

“We have too many members and quite frankly our budget won’t allow for another one.  Not only that but we’re just too busy to tell another person about the gospel.  What with all the new buildings and activities–we can barely keep up with the ones we have…are you crazy?  Do you honestly think adding another member is a wise decision?”

Go ye therefore, and ponder.

Parent’s Duty to Disciple and Why Our View of Children Should Be Elevated

Readers often challenge me with questions/comments that I need to ponder seriously.  They are questions that matter, I am thankful for them and they need to be answered.

“Kelly, you seem to elevate this topic over the others…”

“Kelly, why do you interfere in personal matters?”

“Kelly, why don’t you just live and not talk about these things, and let the Holy Spirit work as he wishes?”

The Lord providentially brought this message by Dr. Voddie Baucham into my hearing (without my looking for answers), and I could barely contain the outpouring of my soul about “why” indeed, I am compelled to talk about the things I do.  In his profound message lies the answer.

Just personal matters?

It’s interesting that all throughout Scripture, instruction was given to the people of God as a group–a body.   Suffice it to say, our personal choices profoundly affect the “body”.  We are not separate entities, no more than your arm is separate from the rest of your body.  And while it is true, each man will stand or fall before the Judge, as Christians, it would be naive to assume that the body will not suffer if its members have a skewed, biblical world-view.  This, I believe, is the reason that Paul so carefully instructed Titus to “teach sound doctrine”; specifically as it relates to personal, daily living.  It’s the reason God repeatedly sent messengers to instruct His people.  (We are all messengers now.  And I believe our lack of understanding of that has caused the church to indulge in error without check.  We no longer “admonish one another” or check each other–which is why I said I’m thankful for the above questions and challenges some readers are willing to make.)

Why do I seem to elevate some topics?

The topic of children has mainly been the brunt of this comment.  It is important to understand a few things…one, I don’t discuss matters of salvation much here–admittedly the most important topic–because my blog is directed toward believers.  Hopefully, we’re beyond the fundamentals.

Secondly, I think few people realize how profoundly important our view of children is to the Kingdom work of Christ.  I truly believe a wrong view of children is one of the foundational errors in the church and has had enormous implications for our evangelism and spreading of the gospel.  We like to think it’s an isolated issue of privacy, irrelevant to anything spiritual.  And as Dr. Baucham so passionately articulates in his message,  nothing could be farther from the truth.  God has written in our very bodies His will for us concerning children.  He didn’t even have to mention it in Scripture, yet He continued to reinforce the importance of a right view of children.  Forget the details! They are so often what create the controversy during these debates.  The details can, indeed, be left for individuals to make choices regarding their family’s circumstances.  But let’s get our over-arching view of children right, consistent with God’s view of children! After that, the details are going to work themselves out.  I’ll let Dr. Baucham “bring it home”

His message–if we could just get this one thing– would radically change the face of our culture.  It’s big, ladies, it’s big!!!  Perhaps the family could gather around and listen during family time, but whatever you do, make time for you and your husband to listen to this 20 minute message.  Then pass it on!  It is so passionate, so encouraging and it’ll make ya wanna shout!

Dr. Voddie Baucham’s message:

The Centrality of the Home in the Evangelism and Discipleship of the Next Generation

Discipleship According to Jesus

I think it was providential that I came across this short clip of David Platt, a young pastor we have recently discovered with a contagious passion for Christ. This clip is a great follow-up to the last post.

Platt is the real McCoy–he has a profound grasp of truth. This clip is only 9 minutes long–I urge you to listen.  Sometimes the simplicity of Scripture just smacks you in the forehead.

Added as an afterthought…

The profoundness of this message to me was the observation that Jesus spent most of his entire ministry with just 12 men–his spiritual children. Discipleship. He was not interested in numbers.   He focused on taking the few “His father had given Him” and pouring into their lives so that there would be substance to their walk, not just a profession of faith.

At the end of his ministry, “He only had 150 people to show for it”. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t concerned about seeing the Kingdom advance. I think that was exactly what He was concerned with, but understood that faithful followers were more than those who had “accepted Christ”. Only those with a deep, growing faith, willing to “deny themselves and take up their cross” could follow Him.

He preached a hard gospel; perhaps that’s why so few followed Him. Perhaps that’s why we can boast of numbers but not power to transform. Look at what we’ve done, and how opposite it is of Christ’s method!

His 150 little followers lit a blaze that kept Christianity alive and growing until today. There was substance there that enabled them to
remain faithful through the most tortuous of persecution.

Today, we coddle and bend over backwards to disguise any truth that may turn someone away. We preach comfort and grace but neglect to tell others their desperate need of a Savior because of sin. But our numbers don’t reconcile the mess we’re in.

Wow…got a little carried away–sorry. Just want us to really think!

Sabbath Day Reflections

Lord, my spirit is willing, but indeed, my flesh is weak.  Look on me and remember I am but dust, yet Image-formed and God-breathed.  Today is the day of  “worship”.  We all worship because You have created us for that end.  It is the object worshiped that differs from man to man.

And on this day, even those of us who call You our object of worship will still worship self in some sense.  Maybe that is a self-preservation you have built within; maybe it’s our constant battle to deny ourselves in order that we may truly find who we are.

Beckon my eyes heavenward, my heart to hush and listen to Your sweet voice, my soul to fall prostrate at your Majesty, my hands to cease and receive this day of rest as I simply bask in the love, comfort and power that is found in You…my Rock and my Redeemer.