“I think we have an obligation as parents to start teaching our kids to fish instead of giving them a fish.”

Ah! Thank you! It’s about time somebody just says that out loud.

Very inspiring video, especially if you have boys that seem to struggle with school.

Teach it to your children…

Family and marriage are institutions designed by God–they are not man-made.  Perhaps then, we shouldn’t be surprised that the family is becoming an enemy. Who would have ever believed there would come a time when society would be hostile to what has always been considered the basic unit of its existence?  It is why I think feminism has had the most damaging impact on our culture…because at the core, it seeks to separate family…with destruction as a result.

We have slid down a slippery slope and arrived at the belief that the basic unit of society is the INDIVIDUAL.  (Think about it for a minute…look at all the ways families are divided and the expectations that is should be so…even within the church.)  And when that is believed, the individual is very quickly lost in the state.

“Dr. Carle C. Zimmerman, Harvard University spent his life studying the history of the family.  He has pointed out the family’s significance:  that whenever the atomistic (separate, unrelated members) family develops, in which the authority of the father is no longer paramount, then there is a very quick disintegration of society, the total state takes over, and there is a radical collapse of civilization…..

With the development of the atomistic family–which is really no family at all–the home is simply a place to room and board while the state takes over the role as father–to take care of the family in its every need, providing for the children and the parents; the family no longer cares for itself; civilization collapses. ” -R.J. Rushdoony

(By the way, this paradigm does not exclude the rare single men and women not called to marriage;  all still belong to a family and have a major importance in that role.)

Listen to  Zimmerman’s conclusions:

He believed…

“..that a fundamental purpose of civilization is the empowerment and enabling of the family — and is absolutely key to the health of any civilization. … Nobody undertakes to have a large family because it’s fun, or, in advanced societies, because it’s economically beneficial. They do it because they believe that’s what people do. In other words, they believe that children are a blessing from God, and that we humans are participating in the divine will by begetting children and raising them up to carry on our civilization….

Mankind has consumed not only the crop, but the seed for the next planting as well. Whatever may be our Pollyanna inclination, this fact cannot be avoided. Under any assumptions, the implications will be far-reaching for the future not only of the family but of our civilization as well. The question is no longer a moral one; it is social.”

Building the family is the only option for surviving–slice it any way you like, our ideals and personal opinions won’t erase factual reality.

Do you believe that?

I am fascinated with the irony of this mentality most Americans hold dear.  Maybe even more so since I hear often, as a mother of 8, about “affording all those children“.

All of us believe, somewhere deep within, that to prosper financially puts us at an advantage. And in many ways that can be true (nor am I an advocate of “poor on purpose”).  Hey, we’re an entrepreneur family…I think of ways to make money in my sleep.

But history reveals hundreds of men and women whose very hardship catapulted them to distinction through the chiseling of character, (snatching our bosom-clutched, false assumptions right out of our hands), yet we still refuse to nod at scarcity or give it its due reward for human improvement.

Hard times can have immensely positive effects on people, families and society.

Scarcity doesn’t feel nice; maybe that’s the bottom line. But a panoramic view gives us slightly more confidence to praise the attributes of living on less.  We might be better–the whole society, it seems, was better in a less prosperous era.

From a USA News article, Americans are finding “things they can live without”.  Interestingly, when one thing is lost, another, often better thing takes its place.  Can you see from this list how prosperity so quickly robs families of important things, while a dearth can restore them?

Clutter. As Americans downsize, do more of their own cleaning, and look for stuff they can sell online, they’re discovering tons of things around the house they can get rid of…. “We keep being amazed at how having less stuff, with no deprivation, actually gives us better quality of life,” says Deborah Merchant. “We’ve gained emotional and spiritual maturity.”

Cable TV. Many people are cutting back on pay-TV services or canceling them altogether, which saves $50 to $100 a month…. Others are giving up television completely. “There’s no money for cable TV, so my Internet does me for all my news and other entertainment,” says Mariluna Martin of Los Angeles. “That’s money saved, plus no TV means no blaring of bad news, fear-mongering, ad pressures, and other unpleasantness.” Martin spends more time reading books and sipping tea at a neighborhood café. She finds that rewarding: “The changes I’ve had to make have made my life better. Things are simpler and healthier now.”

Privacy. To save on rent or mortgage payments….grown kids are moving back in with their parents….. “We have learned to enjoy a simple, cost-effective, and minimalist approach to life by developing an appreciation for nature and family,” he says. “Big, expensive toys and trips were fun before, but we really don’t need them anymore.”

Prepared foods. More people are cooking at home, and they’re doing it with fewer pre-made sauces, marinades, dressings, and other ingredients. “Moms are back to basic cooking,” says Chance Parker, a market researcher at J.D. Power & Associates. “They want to use fresh herbs and spices. It saves money, and it’s more healthy.”

Extra calories. Some Americans say they’re eating less to save money and drinking more water or doing other things to suppress their appetite.

New gifts. Regifting is a time-tested practice—but there’s always room to refine your strategy. Linda Amicucci of Tenafly, N.J., holds a “treasure party” with a group of friends after Thanksgiving every year to swap recyclable gifts.

New cars. It’s no secret that new-car sales plunged to levels 40 percent lower than the peak in 2006. But many buyers who have traded down to a used model are surprised at the quality of the merchandise.

Comfort. Thermostats all across America are going lower in winter, higher in summer.

A daily commute.  Telecommuting increased during the recession as well, and more people say they’re riding bikes or walking more to save on gas costs—or a gym membership.

Debt. Who needs it? “I have learned that it takes little time to run dangerously high credit card balances,” says Tom Poirer of Lowell, Mass., “but an inordinately long time to pay it back. I have learned to deprogram myself from the consumerist mayhem.”…We may ultimately end up with less stuff. But at least we’ll be able to afford what we have.

Can you hear it?  A country that has been (and still is) so consumer minded, so money-driven and stuff-hungry, that even these changes would sound crazy to a truly impoverished individual?

Still, I’m thankful for many lessons our family has learned and is learning by “force”, simply because affordability is not an option.  No, I don’t think we should aim to be poor; but we would do well to respect its natural improvements on our lives and not be so afraid of it.

I’ve decided we’ll keep these on hand for gifts too–think hostess gifts, birthday gifts, just-because gifts…

Here’s how it’s done:

Supplies

• washers (we used 2 different sizes–1/2 ” and 3/4″)
• all-purpose glue
• Triple Thick (aka “Diamond Glaze”)
• scissors
• beads
• string or ribbon
• paper (It is suggested that you make laser copies of scrapbook-type paper as inkjet prints can bleed.  However, I experimented using the regular paper and had no trouble.)
• hole-punch (optional)

Trace the washer.

Cut the doughnut-shaped paper out.  We chose the 1/2″ washer first because we found a 3/4″ hole punch perfect to cut out the middle.  But these are a bit large (although we like them), so we did some smaller ones too.  To cut out the middle of the smaller ones we simply folded the circle in half; when it’s glued down, the crease doesn’t show.  You can also use an Exacto knife.

Apply glue to the washer then press the paper shape down on the roughest side of the washer (you want the smooth side to lay against the skin.)

Let the glue dry (a few hours).  Then, with a wooden skewer or similar tool, apply a thick layer of glaze and swirl it around until it evenly covers the entire surface.

This is supposed to dry for 48 hours but we impatiently put ours together a lot sooner (less than 8 hours!)  You just have to be careful handling it until it is completely hardened.  Oh, and baby teeth will show up in the finish

You can purchase fasteners at the craft store, but we actually just made our own like this.  We decided that the ribbon is prettier so we’ll be buying different colors to match the other designs.  As you can see, we also added a bead to the top of the washer.  To attach the  hemp rope, we just doubled it, put the folded end through the hole of the washer, and brought the loose ends back through.

And that’s all there is to it.  Let me know if you’re interested in purchasing them and I’ll throw up a page with a “buy it” button. We are charging $8.00 for either size.

“Nowadays, a family has to have two incomes to make ends meet.”

“Nowadays, it is impossible for a young couple to get into the housing market.”

“Nowadays, families cannot afford to raise more than two children.”

As if the message could magically be shot back through the television tube, I raised my fist and shouted, “It is not true, it can be done!” And so began my quest to prove that it could be done – that it was still possible to raise a large family and buy a house without two full-time incomes….

Over the years our average income has been less than $30,000. In less than seven years we saved $49,000, made significant investment purchases (vehicles, appliances, furniture) of $38,000, and were completely debt free! That is an annual savings/investment rate of over $12,500 per year, or 43% of our gross income.”

So we got a wood-burning stove.  Our power bill has always been through the roof so a while back I suggested we get a stove, though my first suggestion had more to do with the economy collapsing and leaving us with no power…but mostly I’m optimistic.

I’ve had an epiphany through our short life with our wood heater:  the world is crazier now because everyone was too busy keeping the fire going to get into trouble before.  (That and milking the cow–a project I’m so grateful my daughter happens to love as I am not even tempted–though I love the milk–to head out in the cold at dusk to milk–“my sympathies, dear Buttercup“.)

And while my epiphany is a little in jest, mostly it’s not.  Before technology made our lives so much easier, think of all that merely surviving entailed…

This one little fire has taken center stage in our home and all the children feel equally responsible for keeping it hot enough to heat the house.  It’s a full-time job!  And boy does it eat wood!  (Of course we’re experiencing our lowest temps of the year.)  My husband is going to have to come up with some extra time in his day to cut it.  (Or I suppose he could calculate the money we should save on the electric bill and subtract that many hours from his work week )

So I cooked a pot of soup on it last night. (The kids got excited when I told them they’d have to get the fire hotter to cook the pasta.) I’m very excited about this because now I can save more money not using the stove to cook beans for hours.  My neighbor brilliantly suggested that we cook beans and rice on it frequently, saving them in the freezer just to utilize the heat.  Good thinking, Jane!

But I do seriously ponder the irony of our “improved” lives due to technology. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology.  I love hot showers when I want them, indoor toilets and all the ease of a dishwasher.  But I wonder if, on a large scale, the comforts outweigh all the repercussions of a life with so much more time on its hands; that time snowballing into a monstrous lot of negative consequences.

If we were busier–as a society–just trying to survive, I just think it would be better.  We have it all backwards so often.   *Shrug*

Food for thought.

There is little more humbling than hearing one’s self recorded (especially when one’s self is from the South ).   Nevertheless, I was grateful to spend some time yesterday talking to Kevin Swanson on his radio program Generations With Vision, about family economics, sharing a little about our home business and how it all started.  (There was so much of I thought of later that I would have liked to talk about, but it was a very spontaneous interview.)

I think you’ll enjoy Kevin’s dynamic passion for family enterprise.

You can listen to it at Generations With Vision, if you promise to remember that my gift is writing, not speaking

And you’re up for the challenge. So before I go tackle my ginormous to-do list, I thought I’d offer you the same encouragement and tips I’m trying to give myself (some of these came from my husband):

Regarding the house:

• Drink your coffee first (unless you’re trying to give it up, in which case, I have no idea how to encourage you there.)

• Tackle one room or area at a time. THIS is a hard one. You know the routine. You pick up an item from the kitchen and take it where it belongs and alas, that room is a disaster too, so you busily begin cleaning there. Resist the urge. My husband suggested that I take the stray item to the room it belongs and wait to put it up until I get to that room. Another tip is to have a box for stray items and just place them in that as you go through a room.

• Create a place for everything. If you can’t do that, toss it. Resist the urge to pine over each item, painfully imagining how and when you will use it. Once you toss it, you’ll feel much better, and you won’t miss the item. (Tip: Ask yourself, “Do I love it or do I need it?” If you answer “no” to either, it’s history.)

• If you have children, delegate. But be specific, because it is overwhelming to them too. Let the littlest ones be your “go-fers” taking trash and stray objects to their place. Give one a trash bag and make it their job to collect all the trash, or a basket to collect stray items, etc. Let them help you tackle the one room. Make it a race. Set a timer.

• Purge, purge like never before. This is the time to get rid of things you know just take up space. I try to remind myself that as soon as I toss it, I won’t remember it anymore.

• If you homeschool…give yourself a “reorganizing vacation”. Don’t feel the pressure to rush back to school until you’ve gotten everything under control. School time will be far more productive and pleasant if you’ll allow yourself that time. If you still feel pressure, maintain your daily reading and wait on the more stressful subjects.

• Study to get some great crock pot recipes and use it about twice a week.

Regarding your health:

• Last year I wrote, “Easy Health for Busy Moms” and I find it encouraging myself, even as I go back for a refresher. Great information and motivation in there to get your new year off to a good start.

• Change in baby steps. Add an extra glass of water to your diet (maybe switching at meal time).

• Find a good, whole-food multi-vitamin. I like “Alive”. Research on-line and ask around. Getting the proper nutrition is important to having the energy to accomplish all we must do in a day!

• Find some kind of exercise you will do. More than ever, at my “older” age, I’m realizing how important it is to exercise. Rebounding (jumping on a mini-tramp is an excellent, cold-weather exercise.) Not only does exercise do the obvious for your health, but it improves your mood and sense of well-being (by releasing endorphins). Who of us couldn’t use that?

• Just adding fruits, nuts and vegetables to your current diet is a great step. Make a glass of fruit juice or vitamin-enriched drink part of your morning routine.

Regarding your finances:

• Despite how painful it can be, a written budget is really the only way to stay on top of finances. We have found too, that the more variable your income, the more important it is to write out a yearly budget. For us, the bulk of our income comes in the summer. So unless we plan to spread it out over the year, we find ourselves lacking in the winter months. Dave Ramsey has the best resources I know of and I would encourage you to check out The Total Money Makeover–it was a life-changing book for us…truly.

• Actually use your budget Ramsey suggests the practical method of an envelope system. Whatever you have allotted for a certain category (food, clothing, entertainment), spend that and no more.

• Start a change jar. This is a very simple, painless way to save a little extra money for a rainy day. We’ve done this for years–sticking our spare change in a jar, and it adds up in a hurry. Think of something to save for and write it on the jar and get everybody involved!

• Learn to sell on eBay or Amazon. With a little forethought, extra cash throughout the year can be earned by selling items around the house. You could designate a specific savings goal for your eBay selling.

• Read our book, Finding Financial Freedom to see how we paid off $38,000 in consumer debt in five years, making less than $60K any year.

Regarding your spiritual life:

• Make a sermon part of your day. Or at least, every few days. With the convenience of Sermon Audio and similar sites, getting spiritually fed has never been easier. A few of my favorites: Voddie Baucham, John Piper, David Platt, Paul Washer, Ravi Zacharias, Alistair Begg, Joe Morecraft, Mark Driscoll…to name a few.

• Make Bible reading a priority. Even if you don’t get up early enough for quiet time, gathering the children around to read a portion of Scripture daily is not only a great spiritual benefit, but it paves the groundwork for habits in their own lives for years to come.

• Memorize Scripture as a family easily by playing By Heart Scripture Songs throughout your day.

Other random tips:

• Commit to reading a spiritually-challenging book once a month.

• Make a list of character traits you would like to improve, and begin praying, being deliberate and working toward those. (For me, cultivating a gentle spirit is at the top of my list.)

• Engage your children in more thoughtful discussion. Remind yourself that discussion is a primary means of education–and it can happen anywhere!

• Determine to be a blessing to your husband. So often this gets overlooked. But it should be a priority!!!! A family where the husband and wife are a team, where they cultivate friendship–that’s a family that will thrive. Just a sincere word of gratitude can go a long way toward being a “crown” to your husband.  Make him laugh, smile at him and just focus on being pleasant. You are the one person given to him to be his cheerleader. Encourage his strengths, and do not focus on his weaknesses. (It helps me, when I tend to want to dwell on his weaknesses, to redirect my thoughts to my own weaknesses. Wow. Changes perspective quickly.)

• Add laughter. This has been on my mind a lot lately. Life can really squelch out the fun if we let it. Adding a bit of laughter can change the quality of everyone’s life! Find something to laugh about…make jokes with each other, smile at your children’s antics. Nothing is so important that it has to squash our joy!

Praying the Lord would bless our homes this year as we endeavor to make them places where people thrive in the joy and comfort of our Father.

You’ll love the  great, easy,  homemade gifts Kathy, at Teaching Good Things, has posted with the instructions.  We’ve both made these and been the recipient of these great homemade goodies.  If you need some last minute gifts but the cash is running low, consider some of these!

If you still have a gift or two to buy, I wanted you to be aware of our new, *for Christmas only* gift sets.

And just as important, we have a new scent that is scrumptious!!!  White Citrus is the perfect blend for anyone–it’s not too sweet, strong, fruity or flowery.  We are very excited about it

This gift set includes our homemade favorites:  Goat’s Milk Lotion in White Citrus, our peppermint Body Parfait, our new Honey Buttermilk Soap (see the pic. below), our soothing peppermint lip balm and a shower scrubby, all nestled in a beautiful, silver organza bag!  The set is just $17 plus shipping and we still have plenty of time to get it to you for Christmas!

(See the rest of our homemade skin products.)

(Limited number available)