Rich Americans Say the Dumbest Things

Lately I’ve been catching myself listening to conversations–many of my own–with different ears, and I am aghast at what I hear.  We are supposed to be in an “economic recession”, and I understand for many the very real difficulties that brings, and yet I keep comparing our lives to those in other countries where owning a computer would seem like winning the lottery to us.

I mean, isn’t it all about perspective?  My dad was recounting a missionary’s biography and the description of a typical family in the area where he lived.  He said,

“To get a picture of how they live, imagine getting rid of every item in your house–everything–even the food out of the pantry.  Then turn off the power and water.  Then move out into the shed in your back yard.  Then get rid of your shoes–none except the head of the house could afford to wear shoes–now you’re close.  There may some left over potatoes starting to ruin for dinner.”

Now even though that is extreme, it is real.  And there is everything in between, with Americans being pretty much on the top of the social scale–the richest in the world, no matter what your current situation.

And I complain daily about something as trivial as the switch on my hair dryer being broken, or my computer being too slow, or my hair being too–whatever my hair is

It’s shameful.  And then I hear someone say “we can’t afford more children”, and it breaks my heart.  It sounds noble to say it, but taking a different look, doesn’t it just reveal the depth of our selfishness?  And my selfishness, when I say “we can’t afford to give”, whatever the need is?

Americans–the richest people in the world.  Could our prosperity possibly have made us the most complaining, the least hardy, and the greediest people in the world?

And to wrap the whole thing up in tragic irony is the idea that somehow our children will be better if we give them more things, more opportunities, more fill in the blank.  We all know deep down that often it is the very thing that makes them worse!  The only thing that makes them “better”–and we’ve seen it proven!–is more of our time, more of Jesus, and more of simple living.

Thinking about taking a mission trip during Christmas…

Susanna Wesley: A Mother to Admire

(Susanna Wesley, mother of 19 children, nine dying in infancy.)

During a year of absence, her husband having left temporarily over a minor dispute, Susanna wrote to him:

“I am a woman, but I am also the mistress of a large family. And though the superior charge of the souls contained in it lies upon you, yet in your long absence I cannot but look upon every soul you leave under my charge as a talent committed to me under a trust. I am not a man nor a minister, yet as a mother and a mistress I felt I ought to do more than I had yet done. I resolved to begin with my own children; in which I observe, the following method: I take such a proportion of time as I can spare every night to discourse with each child apart. On Monday I talk with Molly, on Tuesday with Hetty, Wednesday with Nancy, Thursday with Jacky, Friday with Patty, Saturday with Charles.”

Susanna Wesley’s “By-laws”

There were several by-laws observed among us, which slipped my memory, or else they had been inserted in their proper place; but I mention them here because I think them useful.

1. It had been observed that cowardice and fear of punishment often led children into lying till they get a custom of it which they cannot leave. To prevent this, a law was made that whoever was charged with a fault of which they were guilty, if they would ingenuously confess it and promise to amend, should not be beaten. This rule prevented a great deal of lying and would have done more if one in the family would have observed it. But he could not be prevailed on and therefore was often imposed on by false colors and equivocations; which none would have used (except one), had they been kindly dealt with. And some, in spite of all, would always speak truth plainly.

2. That no sinful action, as lying, pilfering, playing at church, or on the Lord’s day, disobedience, quarreling, and so forth, should ever pass unpunished.

3. That no child should ever be chid or beaten twice for the same fault; and that if they amended, they should never be upbraided with it afterwards.

4. That ever signal act of obedience, especially when it crossed upon their own inclinations, should be always commended and frequently rewarded according to the merits of the cause.

5. That if ever any child performed an act of obedience or did anything with an intention to please, though the performance was not well, yet the obedience and intention should be kindly accepted; and the child with sweetness directed how to do better for the future.

6. That propriety be inviolably preserved and none suffered to invade the property of another in the smallest matter, though it were but of the value of a farthing or a pin; which they might not take from the owner without, much less against, his consent. This rule can never be too much inculcated on the minds of children; and from the want of parents or governors doing it as they ought proceeds that shameful neglect of justice which we may observe in the world.

7. That promises be strictly observed; and a gift once bestowed, and so the right passed away from the donor, be not resumed but left to the disposal of him to whom it was given; unless it were conditional and the condition of the obligation not performed.

8. That no girl be taught to work till she can read very well; and then that she be kept to her work with the same application, and for the same time, that she was held to in reading. This rule also is much to be observed; for the putting children to learn sewing before they can read perfectly is the very reason why so few women can read fit to be heard and never to be well understood.

From the journal of Susanna’s son, John Wesley

Woman Leaves Legacy of 1400 Descendants

A woman who understands her real power…

In the midst of diapers and dishes, sometimes it helps to gaze into the future and remember that these little people are men and women you’re raising–a heritage from the Lord.

“The commandment to “be fruitful and multiply” the Krishevsky family follows quite closely.

Rachel Krishevsky got married to her cousin, Yitzhak, just before turning 19. The couple brought seven sons and four daughters into the world. In accordance with haredi custom, Krishevsky brought up her children to see children as a great joy. Her children subsequently adopted her outlook and produced 150 children of their own.

These 150 children continued the commitment to be fruitful and multiply and themselves had no less than 1,000 children. From here, the lineage continued even further, and Rachel Krishevsky was blessed with a few hundred great-great-grandchildren.

Rachel Krishevsky died at age 99 on Saturday surrounded by loving descendants.”

One of her grandchildren said about her:

“Grandma was a God-fearing woman her whole life, and her door was always open to the homeless and poor near the market who were looking for a place to eat,” added the grandchild.

“She knew the entire book of Psalms…”

(From y-net news)

What Matters at the End of the Day…

I love how we learn from each other through the most casual of conversations.  My wise, zany, sweet friend, mother of 8, with whom I laugh often, simplified her outlook on life by saying…

“You know, I’ve decided that even too many good things are not good. If at the end of the day I have cuddled and read to my little ones, and have listened to the dreams of my older ones, I’ve done what I’m supposed to do.”

Thanks, Nanc

Green Gardening Girl

Raising Children Who Help Cheerfully

Raising children who do their work cheerfully (or at least without grumbling ) and have a heart for serving is a big deal to us.  I think it should be a big deal to any Christian family.  But children usually don’t just “serve naturally”.  None of us does, though some posses more of a gift for serving.  (Is it “none do” or “none does”?  Yes, I used to be an English teacher–this I forget.)

In addition to teaching our children that “Christ came not to be served, but to serve”, I think we must be pro-active toward developing that characteristic, especially in a culture where “others first” is so foreign.  Below is a portion of an article I wrote for Homeschool Enrichment Magazine about raising children who love to help:

The Power of Words:

“The words that you speak to your children will largely impact the kind of children they will become, and the character they will develop.  “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” It is up to  parents, to guide “the thinking of the heart”.  Words are your most powerful weapon in shaping the thinking of your children.  Let me give you an example of something I might say to help my children develop a heart for serving :

(Stop what I’m doing, and kneel down, looking into the child’s eyes…)  “I just saw you pick up the toys that you got out.  Do you know what a blessing that is to me?  When you help like that, your little sisters and brothers see you, and then they want to help.  What you just did was so responsible and diligent.  I am so proud of the way you are a part of this team.”

Of course we affirm our children just for being who they are; but there are practical steps to building their character.

What about a child who struggles with being a “team member”?  These children need extra amounts of praise, and sometimes discipline for their lack of cooperation.  But I try to look especially hard for small steps in the right direction, and then just make a really big deal about it.  You will be amazed at the difference it makes!

Another thing that works well as you praise their efforts, is to point them out to the other children, and later to their Dad.  Sometimes I stop and say, “Everybody come look at ______…she is doing such a great job washing dishes!”  And then I may turn to the child and say “I am so glad God gave you to us…you are a gift!”

A point to be made about the power of words, is that you can completely change a person’s habits by speaking about him the way you wish he were.  Not lying, mind you, but taking every tiny opportunity to speak in a positive direction.  Sometimes, if a child is struggling with completing tasks in a timely manner, I will just say one day, “Wow, you are so fast!  You really got that job done in a timely manner!” And it instantly sparks the desire in them to be more efficient.

It all about expressing through various ways, that your children are valuable, that they are an important part of your family, that they are significant.  Everyone wants to feel like his existence is meaningful….it is your job to communicate that.  The tendency is to wait until they are older to communicate such things, but that is a mistake.  You must begin at a very early age expressing your deepest appreciation and love to them.  I think, tragically, this is one of the missing elements of modern families.  Because each member is involved in his or her own pursuits, there is little time for the members to feel like they belong together, working toward a common goal.  They all have different friends, different schedules, different interests.  I fear that much of the rebellion Christian parents are experiencing from their children is related to the lack of “ties” among the family members.”

Strength for a Mother’s Journey…Letter From a Reader

I got such an encouraging email from one of my readers, I wanted to share it to encourage you.  Haven’t we all been here a time or two?  Is not this our battle with the powers against the darkness?  If Satan can’t get us to neglect our homes altogether, he will try to discourage us to the point of being unfruitful.  That’s why we must renew our minds, take every thought captive, and cry out to Him who is able to sustain us!

From Terry…

“I have been very discouraged in the Lord and homeschooling. Just weary and tired. Snapping at the children, not living my life with abundant joy. No time for the Word or quiet time spent with the Lord. All came to a head yesterday afternoon – a friend called and I just broke. Told her how I have been feeling (wanting to quit homeschooling – although knowing that is NOT an option), house not in order. She didn’t try to fix things – just listened and prayed for me and told me she was committing to pray for me for the whole day. Finished my day still sad and discouraged. Did not sleep well at all. At about 1am my husband finally went to sleep on the couch because I was tossing and turning all night (uncomfortable with my big belly).

At exactly 6:00 am on my alarm clock I heard a loud audible (I was in a hazy sleep) voice say, “Terri”. I jumped out of bed and came to living room because I thought my husband had called me. He was fast asleep. I walked around the house a couple times to figure out who called. I went back to my room and sat on the bed and then that still small voice inside me beckoned me to spend time with Him. I was overwhelmed!! I was in a yucky place, not seeking the Lord and yet He reached out to me and called me to Him and comforted me. I made some hot tea and sat on the couch so I could spend some time in the Word. He led me to Psalm 51:12-14 “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit” . The words were all new, fresh and written just to me. Then the next verse “THEN I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You.” I have been striving to do all in my strength, thinking a better chore chart or schedule or whipping the children into shape would fix all my problems. I need His generous Spirit to uphold me. I wake up feeling behind and then shove the kids with “school” – math, phonics, science. And yet, I am their school. They are learning of me – THEN I will TEACH transgressors (yes, unfortunately that describes some of my children) Your ways!!!
>
> I look to so many other things to fix my discouragement – charts, lists, new curriculum and yet He is my hope!!”