How Diapers and Dishes Will Change the World

By Leah Smith

“I used to be a useless Christian. My bad end-times beliefs not only terrified me, but completely immobilized and retarded my spiritual life….

When I understood eschatology the way I believe God meant for us to understand it (much less complicated than man ever made it), and I understood the role and duty of the Christian, By George!, two plus two finally started to equal four, instead of three hundred and forty-seven. Not only that, my discontent with my role as a wife and mother began to change.

As a young wife and mother, modern culture—even church culture—had already brainwashed me to believe that those two roles could never fulfill me. I struggled with feeling depressed at times because my friends were out traveling the world, getting degrees and living lives full of fun and adventure! Surely I too could enjoy those things if it weren’t for.…

In reality, more and more women are experiencing many years of “fun” and “adventure,” full of singleness and independence. The reality is also that more women never settle down at all. They have degrees, they have picture albums of their trips to Europe, they have memories of all the fun they had, and they really love their “independence.” And when they die, they will take all of that with them, leaving behind nothing of benefit to future generations. When the independent feminists—who aborted their children and refused to “settle down” and have a family—die, everything their parents poured into them, and the effort of all the generations before them will die with them. They have brought an end to a part of history. The implications for this are of great consequence.

Suddenly I stopped caring so much for my own selfish ambitions. So what if I don’t travel the whole world or get that record deal I always wanted—I’m doing something much more important. When I make breakfast for my family and do the laundry and read to my little ones—with a dominion perspective—I am investing in the future generations. Simply doing what I know I ought to do by itself isn’t going to change anything down the line of generations when you consider the influence of secular humanism in our culture and in our modern day church. It is vital that we have a victory mentality and teach our kids who really sits on the throne—and then show them how to apply that in a practical way in the world.

Right now, my husband and I are living for our great grandchildren and our great, great grandchildren. We realize that we must live out our marriage and our parenting with the big picture in mind always. We must ask the question—how is what we are doing now going to change the future and affect future generations? I would like to encourage other young mothers to ask the same question. The days you find yourself overwhelmed or unsatisfied because of your role, consider the big picture. Consider the lasting impact of a mother and father who teach their kids how to bring Christ into every sphere of life. Consider the effect of a household that believes Christ is reigning, instead of a household that believes He has ultimately failed in history. And by the way—the great godly men of history didn’t just appear out of thin air. They came about as the result of faithful generations before them: moms and dads who faithfully taught their children the ways of the Lord.

Diapers and dishes never made me happy before in my life, but with a victorious eschatology I’m so honored and privileged to do them! This is an army we’re raising. Do that mountain of laundry with joy in your heart because we have been specially selected to nurture those little warriors and be a helpmeet to the commanding officers in the Lord’s army—and we will win!”

Printed from American Vision

For some great videos and articles about the end times view represented in this article, go to Eschatology @ AMERICAN VISION

Strength for a Mother’s Journey…Letter From a Reader

I got such an encouraging email from one of my readers, I wanted to share it to encourage you.  Haven’t we all been here a time or two?  Is not this our battle with the powers against the darkness?  If Satan can’t get us to neglect our homes altogether, he will try to discourage us to the point of being unfruitful.  That’s why we must renew our minds, take every thought captive, and cry out to Him who is able to sustain us!

From Terry…

“I have been very discouraged in the Lord and homeschooling. Just weary and tired. Snapping at the children, not living my life with abundant joy. No time for the Word or quiet time spent with the Lord. All came to a head yesterday afternoon – a friend called and I just broke. Told her how I have been feeling (wanting to quit homeschooling – although knowing that is NOT an option), house not in order. She didn’t try to fix things – just listened and prayed for me and told me she was committing to pray for me for the whole day. Finished my day still sad and discouraged. Did not sleep well at all. At about 1am my husband finally went to sleep on the couch because I was tossing and turning all night (uncomfortable with my big belly).

At exactly 6:00 am on my alarm clock I heard a loud audible (I was in a hazy sleep) voice say, “Terri”. I jumped out of bed and came to living room because I thought my husband had called me. He was fast asleep. I walked around the house a couple times to figure out who called. I went back to my room and sat on the bed and then that still small voice inside me beckoned me to spend time with Him. I was overwhelmed!! I was in a yucky place, not seeking the Lord and yet He reached out to me and called me to Him and comforted me. I made some hot tea and sat on the couch so I could spend some time in the Word. He led me to Psalm 51:12-14 “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit” . The words were all new, fresh and written just to me. Then the next verse “THEN I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You.” I have been striving to do all in my strength, thinking a better chore chart or schedule or whipping the children into shape would fix all my problems. I need His generous Spirit to uphold me. I wake up feeling behind and then shove the kids with “school” – math, phonics, science. And yet, I am their school. They are learning of me – THEN I will TEACH transgressors (yes, unfortunately that describes some of my children) Your ways!!!
>
> I look to so many other things to fix my discouragement – charts, lists, new curriculum and yet He is my hope!!”

So You Prefer I Use Birth Control?

Will you please allow me a little rant?  Yes I know about love and grace and kindness, but does that really bar my right to get agitated?

The pastor sitting beside me as I waited to get my hair cut was a talker.  I mean big time.  You should know, by the way, that I don’t “jump” to tell people I have 8 children anymore.  Not because I’m ashamed of it…maybe it’s more of my weariness of the cliches and attempts at making me feel ashamed for my convictions.

So he’s really chattering, to me, and to my 7-year-old about the baby who’s sleeping in her seat.  And it finally comes up–the number of siblings.  His response?  (Grabs arms of his seat on either side and leans forward…) “ARE YOU CRAZY?”  Did I mention he was a pastor?

Rolled off.  Smiles, answer with my own cliche...”No, I’m blessed.” Another day.

Then yesterday, at the Thrift store, a lady I recognize.  Oh, she’s a lady that frequented our home often when my mother used to cater a monthly meal for The Gideons.  You know those people who do the wonderful work of spreading the Word of God?  She had already bumped into my mom.  So she says, when she sees me…

“I hear you’ve got number 8 in that buggy?” Now, most people who see someone they know whom they haven’t seen in a while say things like, “Let me see that new baby?” Or even more simply, “How have you been?” Not this time.

“Yes ma’am”, I say.

She replies, “Don’t you know what causes that?”

OK, here’s the thing.  That question is as tired as jelly shoes and twist-a-beads.  (You’ll only know what that is if you grew up in the 80′s.)  If you feel the need to make a joke, could you come up with an original one?  And one that isn’t so, well, embarrassing to yourself?  And, if you’re a Christian, at least try to hide the fact that you don’t believe children are really a heritage from the Lord.

And really, consider how insulting this “joke” is.  Do you really think this is a subject to which my husband and I have not given a serious amount of thought, prayer and research?  All that intensity of thought is dismissed by your stupid question.

(Honestly, I think I’d rather have someone just be truthful and ask me why I don’t use birth control.  Because the question she asked clearly reveals that she is not even open to another take on the issue and probably hasn’t given it much thought at all beyond the assumption that if everyone else is doing it so should we.)

I really must start answering more creatively to this question.  It just begs for its own response.

Maybe a blank stare?  A tedious description of the reproductive process?  (“And I think that’s the way it works, am I right?”)

Maybe a reminder that God did not say,

“Children are a gift from Me…well, for the next 6,000 years or so.  But after that, you brilliant people will come up with a way to stop them from coming.  The easiest way will be with a pill that often causes mood disorders, weight gain, nausea, abdominal pain, cancer and sometimes even abortion. But don’t worry about those, this is my will for you, I just forgot to mention it when the Bible was written.  And when people make rude comments about your sex lives (which I created), you should be ashamed.  I mean, anyone with a brain should be on birth control.”

So, still trying to figure out how to respond to this awkward question.

The Birth of Ellia Brynn

HUGE thanks to my friend Kathy who “labored” with me, both alongside me at the hospital filming and supporting me, but also for the many hours she spent on this (heavily edited video and ministering to me over the weekend…she is truly a blessing!

*HINT: If you wish, you can view in full screen by clicking the middle icon on the right, bottom of the video.

God Has Answered

After only a few short days, lots of tears, prayer and reading all the comments you precious ladies have taken the time to write, I felt it important to tell you about God’s tender mercies.

I had no idea when I came home that I would be in such need of processing Ellia’s birth; nor have I ever been this emotional (I think) after childbirth.  Let me say that even the processing itself has been a precious, unexpected time of growing in the Lord and watching His mystery unfold before me.

I have been able to better focus now on the many aspects of my experience, and to come to a complete peace about all the “surprises” and feelings of inadequacy.

And amazingly, lessons are beginning to unfold, little by little, small love-gifts from the Lord to accompany these roller-coaster days with a newborn.

Someone said that natural childbirth revealed a picture of our weakness as Christians; that we don’t always “get it right” or have our expectations fulfilled, and yet God is there, all the time, working out what is good and right according to His purposes.  I agree.

I have hugged my husband more…his tenderness being reciprocated back to me, the woman he stood beside and helplessly watched endure the most intense of suffering.  I am more in awe of him than I ever have been…to reflect back on his demonstration of the selfless love of Christ as he served me through labor.  Surely this is what love is.

I cherish a tenderness with my mother, I think, that is new, as she didn’t know how hard it could be to watch “her baby” suffer to such a degree.

My daughter embraces me every time she passes me in the house.  She says, “I never knew how good it would be to have you back home”.

And when I look at Ellia, I’m reminded of what it means to “present your bodies a living sacrifice”…the sacrifice of pain, both of pregnancy and delivery. The cleansing, if you will–the fresh calmness that comes after a storm.

I know better about the experience now.  I can’t say what I would choose again.  Not yet.  But it simply can’t go without saying that God has flooded me with a refreshed spirit; he has turned my sorrow to gladness, and has already begun to melt my fear into gratitude.

Interestingly enough, I just learned today, that when I originally looked up Ellia’s name meaning, we were going to spell it with one “l”.  That spelling meant “Jehovah is my God”.  But spelled with 2 “ll’s”, it is a short form of “Elliana” which means, “God has answered”.  And isn’t that fitting?  I cried out to Him all weekend, and indeed, He has answered.

You all were a part of that answering, and I will be forever grateful for these transforming days in my life.

My Natural Childbirth Experience

Well, I experienced a natural childbirth for the first time after 7 medicated ones.  I had a number of reasons for choosing to go natural.

One is mainly that I just wanted to experience it.  Another is that it just seemed appealing from the testimonies of other women who had done it.  Part of me wanted to embrace the spiritual experience I heard it could be.  And partly–though I had never had any trouble from medicated births–I believe the evidence that intervention can potentially cause problems.

So I firmly planted my mind and heart and went forward.  I did a lot of mental preparation, praying and relaxation practice during my pregnancy, feeling really confident going into labor.

I expected this birth to be very fast.  My labor woke me at 3 am Tuesday morning and was on and off all day.  I was so depressed, thinking I could could go for days or weeks on that mentally torturing roller coaster.  But around 7 pm, contractions got stronger and steadily closer together.

Based on the fear of being told it’s likely I’d deliver quickly, we made the hour drive, hoping to have enough time to get settled and relaxed before delivery.  I was calm, focused and excited that the time had finally come.

No chance of that fast birth we expected.  They didn’t even officially admit us for a couple of hours because I was only at 2 cm when we got there.  The nurse said, “I’m not sure you’re in labor”…to which I replied, “WHAT??!!”  I knew what labor was and I knew I was in it   She finally realized it too and admitted us.

My contractions increased in intensity but took a long time in between.  I walked which helped, but eventually I was too tired to continue walking.  I had to rest a lot which seemed to stall my progress.  I was getting really discouraged around 2 or 3 am when I was only about 6 cm, but having harder and harder contractions.  At times, there would be no *apparent* progress after laboring hard for more than an hour.

Long story short, it was tempting, at the suggestion of the nurse, to take a little pitocin to speed things up.  Especially as I watched my family grow weary with me.  It was almost a pressure to perform–like *I* was holding up progress, and I just wanted it to be over so everyone could get some rest.  This is where my husband would say, “Stop worrying about everyone else…let your body take it’s time”…isn’t he brilliant?

I wondered if they were thinking, “Why is it so important you go natural?  Why can’t you just take the meds and be done with it?“  Though no one ever hinted at such a thought…well maybe my Dad from whom I inherited my impatience.

Other than the length of the labor, I was not surprised at the experience….yet.

Around 9 am Wednesday morning, my doctor came in to check my progress.  He didn’t ask or tell me, but he broke my water while checking, so I knew things were about to pick up.

About 30 minutes later, I had two contractions that were “over the top”.  I kept waiting for that “irresistible urge to push” which was approaching, but not quite here yet.  However, I decided right then I wasn’t going to have another contraction like the last one.  I announced, “I’m pushing”.

But the doctor wasn’t there so they wanted me to wait.  “Sorry”, I said, “I’m pushing”. They scrambled around to get me ready, called the doctor, and were still telling me to wait.

At this point, the whole experience took an unexpected turn.  I don’t know if natural childbirth advocates have signed a “pact of secrecy” or what, but I was not prepared for the end.

Everything I thought I had read/heard about natural child birth indicated that the most painful part was getting through the contractions.  That the actual delivery came as sheer relief with some “pressure and a burning sensation” being the worst.

I had worked so hard on focusing and being controlled through all the contractions.  I really believe the Lord had given me grace to accomplish just that and the nurses testified to the “surprise” that I was so calm during contractions.  I fully expected I could maintain that level of control to the end, since, after all, the worst part was over.

The worst part was not over.  I lost control, I lost focus, and all my senses left me.  It was a blur.  The pain of delivery didn’t even compare to my hardest contractions.  (Am I breaking the pact, here?) The nurses and Aaron were trying to talk to me above my own voice and it was rather a mingled confusion as all I could think of was ending the pain.

The doctor was there by now and once the head was delivered, the pain peaked and then they told me to stop pushing.  I didn’t know the cord was wrapped around her neck too tightly to just slip it off as they normally would.  So at this point, I could just yell “GET IT OUT!”  I didn’t realize he had to clamp off the cord in two places and cut it before the delivery could continue.

My mother got up and left the room at this point.  She left crying and said she simply couldn’t endure it. She joined my Dad in the hall.

What little coherence I had left conceived this terrifying thought:  “I knew it!…I’m giving birth to a 15 lb. baby and it’s stuck.  I’ve got to stay like this until they do an emergency C-section!”

So the sheer panic of that thought gave me a super-charged pushing stamina and I finally delivered her.

But it wasn’t over…I had heard about the euphoria, the relief and rush that comes as soon as the baby is delivered.  But my experience was different.  I was still in agonizing pain (is this normal?)  and could not stop sobbing.  I was barely even aware when they placed Ellia on my chest.  I just cried and cried while Aaron held me.

The doctor, in fact, ordered pain meds through my IV the minute she was born.

It was completely unexpected and I’m still trying to sort through the process.  I’m glad I experienced it.  But honestly, the thoughts of doing it that way again are terrifying.

I wanted to be able to report that indeed, it was empowering, and I wouldn’t consider anything else, and I was converted to natural childbirth forever.  I want to share in that group of women who feel elated after childbirth.

But my honesty won’t let me.  I’m so in awe of those of you who have done this more than once.  I joked later that I couldn’t believe the population of the world didn’t die out before pain meds.  Maybe I’ll feel differently in a few weeks?  Months?  Someone told me I’d forget.  I don’t think so.

It is taking me some time to process the whole thing.  I feel sad that I’m so scared of it now.  I feel somewhat disappointed…not really in the experience, but more in myself, I guess.  I cried today thinking of it.   I feel almost like I’ve let the natural birthing community down because I can’t bring myself to share in the praises and elation of this natural experience.  I’m not opposed to pain…really.  I actually have quite a high tolerance.  I told my daughter before the birth..“Oh honey, they only yell and scream in the movies.”…Oops.

Nevertheless…God is good.  He gave me a beautiful, healthy daughter, and strength to bring her into the world.  It can be done.  His grace was sufficient and I give Him all glory and honor for this new, immortal gift of life.